azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
Oh I've had this happen to me. I was planning on doing it after I moved back in with my parents to get away from my stalker ex fiancé. Ended up meeting another guy totally unintentionally. We were together for almost 3 years. Broke up a few months ago. Turns out he gave me an STD. Now I wish I hadn't let him
distract me from what I intended on doing because I'm even worse off than I was before.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
I am so sorry about your STD. I know this is gonna sound obtuse/insensitive, but I'm kinda envious that people seem to love you so much. I know stalking's no joke. I'm a woman, and I am guilty of stalking my male exes. I'm not condoning that kind of behavior, but I know what it's like to feel so desperate as to want to stalk. I know stalking can get vindictive, too. I had a spurned ex who sabotaged my efforts to go back to grad school. (He literally withdrew my application, pretending to be me via e-mail). So, I ain't saying stalking's romantic, but I have definitely had issues letting go. You certainly don't seem to have trouble attracting partners who want to be with you. That has been so elusive to me. Hope you are getting good medical care. Envious of you. In fact, your situation is kind of EXACTLY opposite to mine. I came back to my parents' house after this guy I loved did NOT want to marry me. And, the guy I "unintentionally" met while at the folks' place hit it and quit it, and now I'm sobbing over him. And, I probably have an STD, too. I've had six different partners in the last calendar year.
 
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mattwitt

mattwitt

# 978
Jun 28, 2018
2,307
I haven't had a new crush since 1994/1995
 
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lost illusions

lost illusions

bye
Sep 12, 2018
548
I know this is kind of going on a tangent, but I subscribed to another break-up recovery site when I was going through a terrible break up. I would always complain on that site that I had lost a good man because of my mental illness, and someone on there told me that when true love came, that person would never leave me. And, maybe this sounds cheesy, but that poster -- whom I've never met, and is a woman -- told me she would never leave me. And, for some reason that helped so much. So, at the risk of freaking you out, I will never leave you, lost illusions. I don't have the answers. I've screwed half a dozen other guys since I last saw that site, so I ain't pretending to be some guru. I am so lonely, and life feels so shitty so much of the time, that I crave something warm and sweet and affectionate. I have messed up my life trying so hard to get people to love me, and I too, find moving on close to impossible. I know so many people who are able to be so spiritual and strong: journaling and reading self-help books and "looking inward." I wish I could do this, but I just can't. I crave contact with other people. I just say all this to let you know that I will never leave you, if that means anything. And, you're not alone. Sorry if I am off-base with this. You are great, Lost Illusions. And, I will never leave you.
You'll never have to leave, in the world of sex, love and living life, I don't exist
 
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L

Lefty

Mage
Dec 7, 2018
530
I still get crushes on girls I see that are cute to me. Of course I only get the courage to talk to them every so often. However now with me being at the end of my rope, I just see it as pointless. Aslo, I've been ghosted countless time, and every so-called relationship I've had has gone nowhere. So dating to me seems to be a waste. Despite this, part of me still thinks I could find the one for me or she'd come to me. Though it gets less and less each day.
 
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C

checking out

Member
Sep 17, 2018
56
No crush,I've lost all interest in relationships.I don't have the mental capacity to love anyone properly or being in a steady relationship.All I can bring is destruction,just like Rustin in True Detective said,I'm just not good for people, that it's not good for them to be around me. I wear them down. They get unhappy.
I still feel guilt over my last gf.she's such a sweet person,she waited till the exact time of 0:00 to say happy birthday to me,she drove 3 hours to another city just to buy food I enjoy. Luckily I broke up with her before I could do more damage.The guilt is tremendous,it's the last straw,I'm better to be alone so I won't hurt anyone
That sounds familiar. I was with a wonderful woman for ten years. Then things started to fall apart for me. I thought my relationship with her might have been part of why I was becoming depressed. I was wrong. I broke up with her. I regret it every day. I threw away the only good thing I had in my life. Someone who would have done anything for me. Someone who would still do anything for me even after all that has happened. I tried a rebound relationship. Disaster. So I didn't so much as kiss a girl for two years. No, really. I have had a couple of little flings in recent times but I can never imagine being in a relationship ever again. I never picture anyone in my future except me. Hopefully the future will be short.
 
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Norest4thewicked

Norest4thewicked

Losing it
Nov 4, 2018
270
Not exactly a crush. More of an unrequited love for an ex
 
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LiveSlowDieFast

LiveSlowDieFast

Specialist
Nov 14, 2018
338
I'm dumb enough to sorta be in "love" with the only friend I have. She lives in my hometown and I barely see or talk to her, but I still think about her a lot. I honestly think it's not even really love as much as I think about her and imagine us together to alleviate my loneliness and boredom. Whenever I do see her there isn't really much in terms of emotions and I don't feel the same attraction I do from afar.

I guess it's just a case of idealising her and then realising it's not the same when we actually interact.
 
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Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Visionary
Sep 9, 2018
2,982
Well I have a girlfriend. But I don't really have crushes anymore. At least, not on women whose names don't end in .jpg.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
You'll never have to leave, in the world of sex, love and living life, I don't exist
Lost Illusions, that's not true!!!! You have a huge, elephant heart. And, I know people can't be blind to that. You exist to me!!!! And, I know I'm not the only one who loves and values you.
 

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