Venting My new friend has ties to my sexual assaulter.

[monstershaggy]

I met this new guy this year, he was friends with a few people I know so we naturally started being friends, we aren't like dependant on each other or anything, but we still spoke and understood each other's boundaries (or so I thought), he is a trans man, and only transitioned this year, this has caused him to act rudely or make offensive jokes to try and fit in with the other guys (he sucks at it..)
I learned he had a crush on a girl in a hobby class or something, all I remember was it was about like traditional fighting arts. Anyways he told me her name and I said it sounded familiar, he later told me details about her education, and I quickly realized it was the girl who had molested me when I was eight years old. I asked him to ask her if she knew anyone with my last name, her reply said my name, and then my sisters. She was a friend of my sisters, and during a sleepover crawled into my bed and took off her shirt and bra, she was kinda just rubbing herself off on me. I didn't tell anyone, not because I was ashamed, but because I didn't understand what was happening. (I still own the dog pajamas I was wearing, all I remember was that I was proud of myself for being able to put them on, as my schizophrenia started when I was younger, and I could not take care of myself.) She used to try and groom me and would beat the shit out of me if I tried protesting.
I was abused by different women for so long I kinda just stopped having any attraction towards them, I hate how when I told a friend of mine last year about her, they had simply replied that I sounded like the people who lie and say that they are afraid of women to manipulate others into letting their guard down. I felt disgusting, and I stopped talking about it.

 

[overthrone]

Happened to me before. Totally get how you feel.
I'm not a professional, but when I was in your shoes, I didn't mention it until I felt comfortable. If he's mentioning it regularly enough to be a wall in your friendship, then I'd say to either bring it up if you're comfortable or distance yourself a bit.
You should not feel ashamed in any way, shape or form. What she did to you is assault. End of story. No arguments.
If somebody cannot understand that, they are not worth your time nor energy.
Not to armchair, but this "friend" sounds like an awful person. Please try to cut contact or confront them if you have not already. What they did is shitty as hell.