who is Stan?

[Quarky00]

I tend to obsess and harp on things. I also, quite truthfully, find it fascinating

Ooh , don't .. and not fascinating. People post nasty comments , it's a "fun" activity , very careless.

The ushering of more people towards death so they can "join him" is rather concerning. NOBODY should have that much power over your life.

Unintentional Trolling
Subsection 148(A) -- inflammatory and false information ("ushering people to death")
Suspended Sentencing -- member lacks knowledge or awareness --
Community service: 28 days sorting gifs.



I'm glad people explained well , your patience moved me .

 

[Jean4]

Ooh , don't .. and not fascinating. People post nasty comments , it's a "fun" activity , very careless.


Unintentional Trolling
Subsection 148(A) -- inflammatory and false information ("ushering people to death")
Suspended Sentencing -- member lacks knowledge or awareness --
Community service: 28 days sorting gifs.



I'm glad people explained well , your patience moved me .

Lots of love Quarky. I needed this lol.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Stan was many things to many people. Smart, a pioneer, kind, compassionate, funny, to me he was a friend. He was there for me the last time I almost CTB.

It hasn't been the same without him and BPD_LE. I miss them both alot, I'm constantly reminded of and grateful for the time I spent with them.

Feel the same. A bit teary now. Nice they are remembered so dearly.

Thank you so much Jean4. My Mom had random symptoms for a few months from October 2018, a chest infection that wouldn't clear, weight loss and problems swallowing. Doctors kept treating her for indigestion. Given various antibiotics. She became weak and exhausted. Early January 2019 she was taken to A&E with chest pains. They said it wasn't cardiac related. Did a CT scan. Found big tumours in her lung, chest and liver. Lung cancer. She never ever smoked. She was then in terrible pain. After 4 weeks it had spread to her neck and pelvis. All tumours grew. Was in hospital on a syringe driver on morphine in terrible pain. She died 6 weeks after that CT scan. It was such a shock, it was only a month before her and dad's 50th wedding anniversary. My dad had no idea she wouldn;t get better. I have to work in the hospital where I watched her die. It's very sad. She was a lovely kind, quiet woman who loved animals and music and art. Thank you for reading this and sorry if it's off topic. Thank you all, sending hugs

Really sorry to hear such a sad story. I lost my Mum to dementia a few years ago. Still miss her terribly. Hugs to you.

 

[HopeDiesLast]

The majority of the posts in this thread are a beautiful testament to how valued Stan was and how many lives he touched. I don't mean to take anything away from that.

I didn't know Stan, but I doubt he would take pride in how many people allegedly killed themselves due to his departure. That's nothing to brag about.

 

[Jean4]

The majority of the posts in this thread are a beautiful testament to how valued Stan was and how many lives he touched. I don't mean to take anything away from that.

I didn't know Stan, but I doubt he would take pride in how many people allegedly killed themselves due to his departure. That's nothing to brag about.

 

[Carina]

The majority of the posts in this thread are a beautiful testament to how valued Stan was and how many lives he touched. I don't mean to take anything away from that.

I didn't know Stan, but I doubt he would take pride in how many people allegedly killed themselves due to his departure. That's nothing to brag about.

You drink because you're thirsty, you don't drink because someone hands you something to drink.

Similar for suicide.

 

[Jean4]

You drink because you're thirsty, you don't drink because someone hands you something to drink.

Similar for suicide.

 

[HopeDiesLast]

You drink because you're thirsty, you don't drink because someone hands you something to drink.

Similar for suicide.

Why the bragging?

 

[Jean4]

Why the bragging?

 

[Carina]

View attachment 25477

Yep, I love an octopus! They're so intelligent!

 

[Jean4]

Yep, I love an octopus! They're so intelligent!

Just like Stan. And all of us in the cult. @Brick In The Wall you saw @Morphinekiss wanted jackets!!

 

[HopeDiesLast]

My initial post in this thread didn't call out anyone. I shared a troubling observation in a tactful manner. Someone decided to claim the title cult leader after that. Now I'm being called a troll for voicing my opinion. You're all proving my point.

 

[Jean4]

 

[BlueWidow]

Thank you all for your answers, it seems like Stan meant a lot to so many people, their legacy will carry on for a long time with so many people speaking highly of them. Today I am missing my Mom as it's her first birthday since we lost her last year. I am hoping I will meet her again once I CTB. One anchor to encourage me to stay has gone. It's so hard missing someone who has passed

Hello @George81,

I realize I'm a little late to the party, but I wanted to express my condolences on the passing of your mother. The first year is always the hardest, though in a lot of cases not anywhere near the end of the mourning process, as most people seem to think.
I am on the site partly because of all the losses I have suffered throughout my life, and I am very familiar with what it's like to miss someone who has passed. If you ever need a friend to vent to please PM me.
I lost my mother at the age of 3, my sister when I was 13, my father when I was 21, and I just lost my husband and the reason for my existence in 2017. His death turned my entire world upside down, and even though it's been nearly 2 1/2 years now, to me it still feels like he just died five minutes ago. Your comment about losing one of your anchors is very applicable to my situation because all of my anchors are gone now. That's one of the reasons I'm here. I am very familiar with all of the emotions and disruptions that happen in your life throughout the mourning process, so again if you ever need to vent, please PM me.
I'm sending you love and hugs to get through the day. Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you have a need to be here, but glad that you found us. I hope it will be as helpful to you as it has been to me.

 

[Jean4]

Hello @George81,

I realize I'm a little late to the party, but I wanted to express my condolences on the passing of your mother. The first year is always the hardest, though in a lot of cases not anywhere near the end of the mourning process, as most people seem to think.
I am on the site partly because of all the losses I have suffered throughout my life, and I am very familiar with what it's like to miss someone who has passed. If you ever need a friend to vent to please PM me.
I lost my mother at the age of 3, my sister when I was 13, my father when I was 21, and I just lost my husband and the reason for my existence in 2017. His death turned my entire world upside down, and even though it's been nearly 2 1/2 years now, to me it still feels like he just died five minutes ago. Your comment about losing one of your anchors is very applicable to my situation because all of my anchors are gone now. That's one of the reasons I'm here. I am very familiar with all of the emotions and disruptions that happen in your life throughout the mourning process, so again if you ever need to vent, please PM me.
I'm sending you love and hugs to get through the day. Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you have a need to be here, but glad that you found us. I hope it will be as helpful to you as it has been to me.

You are never late!

 

[George81]

That was Mystic, and no. He's not with us, but Milo is ;).

Have a great day at work. We will be here when you get back... and maybe I would have written about who Stan was by then lol.

Thank you very much and sorry about Mystic, I'm glad you have Milo to keep you company and I'm also very sorry about Stan, I know from what I've been reading that you were obviously very close and it must be so hard for you to keep going after losing him. Everything is so very sad

 

[Jean4]

Thank you very much and sorry about Mystic, I'm glad you have Milo to keep you company and I'm also very sorry about Stan, I know from what I've been reading that you were obviously very close and it must be so hard for you to keep going after losing him. Everything is so very sad

Thank you for the kind words. How was your day?

 

[George81]

Hello @George81,

I realize I'm a little late to the party, but I wanted to express my condolences on the passing of your mother. The first year is always the hardest, though in a lot of cases not anywhere near the end of the mourning process, as most people seem to think.
I am on the site partly because of all the losses I have suffered throughout my life, and I am very familiar with what it's like to miss someone who has passed. If you ever need a friend to vent to please PM me.
I lost my mother at the age of 3, my sister when I was 13, my father when I was 21, and I just lost my husband and the reason for my existence in 2017. His death turned my entire world upside down, and even though it's been nearly 2 1/2 years now, to me it still feels like he just died five minutes ago. Your comment about losing one of your anchors is very applicable to my situation because all of my anchors are gone now. That's one of the reasons I'm here. I am very familiar with all of the emotions and disruptions that happen in your life throughout the mourning process, so again if you ever need to vent, please PM me.
I'm sending you love and hugs to get through the day. Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you have a need to be here, but glad that you found us. I hope it will be as helpful to you as it has been to me.

Thank you so much for your kind words and I'm so very sorry for the loses you have suffered in your life, I can't imagine how hard things have been for you and how you have managed to pick yourself up and keep going. Losing someone close to you changes you as a person, I see that now. It's only suffering loss that you can truely appreciate how others feel when they suffer a loss. You are no longer the same person. Part of you dies with that person. Sending you love and hugs
Sorry guys I keep trying to reply but the website keeps freezing/going offline, it says something about a bad gateway?! I so really want to reply to each one of you individually as you've all been so kind! Today was hard and I cried some tears and I think my dad did but he doesn't talk about his feelings, he's more of a stiff upper lip type, I guess it's more of a generational thing. I'm currently having a drink 'too my mom' so forgive the spelling mistakes as the one drink consists of quite a lot of gin and not a lot else lol. xxx

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Yes, when you lose someone you love some part of you does indeed die with them. That's unfortunately the price we pay for having connections. Because how that person affected your life fundamentally changes who you are and in losing them you lose part of yourself.

 

[SinisterKid]

Stan was just Stan. Excellent at smelling a scammer from threads alone. A superb sense of humour. A caring man who ran out of reasons to continue in this life. We exchanged messages a lot about everything under the sun. He was a knowledgeable guy on many subjects and cared deeply about others here and wanted to do whatever it took to protect them from those who wish us harm. A ethos we shared passionately. His SN guide was a fine piece of work. Like me, he only discovered SN on arrival here but quickly adopted it as his method. He did endless research on the subject which was always informative and concise.

Every now and then, a members turns up who leaves a indelible mark on the place. I have known a couple of them. Stan was one. Was he perfect? No of course not. He had his faults which he was aware of more than anyone. That he made such a impact around here in the short time he was here tells you the type of man he was. Someone once said to me, "I am sure in real life we would have been friends" and that applies to Stan. RIP fella.

 

[George81]

Yes, when you lose someone you love some part of you does indeed die with them. That's unfortunately the price we pay for having connections. Because how that person affected your life fundamentally changes who you are and in losing them you lose part of yourself.

Thank you and sending you hugs. I guess yes it is the price we pay for loving someone. xxx

Stan was just Stan. Excellent at smelling a scammer from threads alone. A superb sense of humour. A caring man who ran out of reasons to continue in this life. We exchanged messages a lot about everything under the sun. He was a knowledgeable guy on many subjects and cared deeply about others here and wanted to do whatever it took to protect them from those who wish us harm. A ethos we shared passionately. His SN guide was a fine piece of work. Like me, he only discovered SN on arrival here but quickly adopted it as his method. He did endless research on the subject which was always informative and concise.

Every now and then, a members turns up who leaves a indelible mark on the place. I have known a couple of them. Stan was one. Was he perfect? No of course not. He had his faults which he was aware of more than anyone. That he made such a impact around here in the short time he was here tells you the type of man he was. Someone once said to me, "I am sure in real life we would have been friends" and that applies to Stan. RIP fella.

That was a very nice way to describe Stan, thank you for your reply. I am getting the same impression, that he was someone you would've got on with in real life. He made a real impact.

 

[BlueWidow]

Thank you so much for your kind words and I'm so very sorry for the loses you have suffered in your life, I can't imagine how hard things have been for you and how you have managed to pick yourself up and keep going. Losing someone close to you changes you as a person, I see that now. It's only suffering loss that you can truely appreciate how others feel when they suffer a loss. You are no longer the same person. Part of you dies with that person. Sending you love and hugs
Sorry guys I keep trying to reply but the website keeps freezing/going offline, it says something about a bad gateway?! I so really want to reply to each one of you individually as you've all been so kind! Today was hard and I cried some tears and I think my dad did but he doesn't talk about his feelings, he's more of a stiff upper lip type, I guess it's more of a generational thing. I'm currently having a drink 'too my mom' so forgive the spelling mistakes as the one drink consists of quite a lot of gin and not a lot else lol. xxx

Yes, don't worry about the site freezing and so forth. It does that a lot. I'm so sorry that today has been so hard for you. I think it's a nice gesture to have a drink to your mom. Anytime I'm drinking, I always have a drink to my dad. He was an alcoholic. I listen to his favorite country and western song and I have a drink to him.

 

[Quarky00]

I shared a troubling observation in a tactful manner. Now I'm being called a troll for voicing my opinion.

You called love, remembrance, and respect 'bragging'. This is not an 'opinion' but a disregard for people's lives. It is also very disrespectful to this community (ushering people to death).

Would you say "stop bragging" at a funeral?

I'm truly sad for you if you believe that is tactful

 

[HopeDiesLast]

You called love, remembrance, and respect 'bragging'. This is not an 'opinion' but a disregard for people's lives. It is also very disrespectful to this community (ushering people to death).

Would you say "stop bragging" at a funeral?

I'm truly sad for you if you believe that is tactful

You're twisting my words. I did not call love, remembrance and respect 'bragging'. Those are beautiful and appropriate.

My objection is to the following quotes that I find troubling.

She (BPD_LE) was Stan's protege. I am surprised she lasted without him and didn't follow him immediately like others.

Several people CTB when he left us to follow him (something this individual obviously didn't know.) Others are still floundering without him and his advice.

Stan was very important here. Much more than me. He died last month. Several people CTB when he left. Others are barely holding on

.

This suggests that the importance or value of a person should be measured by how many people suffer or kill themselves after their departure. Do you think Stan (who by all accounts was a wonderful person) would like to be remembered that way?

 

[jgm63]

You're twisting my words. I did not call love, remembrance and respect 'bragging'. Those are beautiful and appropriate.

My objection is to the following quotes that I find troubling.





.

This suggests that the importance or value of a person should be measured by how many people suffer or kill themselves after their departure. Do you think Stan (who by all accounts was a wonderful person) would like to be remembered that way?

I don't think @Jean4 was saying that this is a "good" thing. She's just pointing out how important he was to some people.
She can often be found on goodbye threads requesting people to stay rather than CTB. I haven't seen any evidence of anyone encouraging anyone to CTB on this forum. I do see plenty of posts of people asking people to make sure they have thought through their decision, and to make sure the actions they are taking are what they truly want, which is the way it should be.

 

[Quarky00]

You're twisting my words. I did not call love, remembrance and respect 'bragging'.

You have.

People explained love and grief (kindly and patiently) several times --

Losing an important person will just increase suicidal ideations and stress.

Yes, when you lose someone you love some part of you does indeed die with them.

Have you ever lost someone in your life before?

You repeatedly call deep bonds between people as bragging.
After all that you still persist --

Why the bragging?

None suggests "importance measured by how many killed". People wrote to you they depend on each other like family -- Stan had a big family here. It doesn't suggest "importance" but LOVE. Like losing a mother or a spouse. Yet you come to that big family, telling them "why bragging".

 

[HopeDiesLast]

We can forever go in circles here. I've made my point as clearly and respectfully as I could. If you choose not to comprehend it that's fine. There was no ill will towards anyone on my part, and I'm done trying to explain it. So lets just bring the focus of this thread back to where it should be -- Stan.

 

[Jean4]

To my people, and those you know me, my temperament, and respect Stan. No arguing over him. As Sinister stated. We know what he meant to all of us, and how he brought us all together.

Jean woke up stable today. Again. Those who know me, know I don't argue. Let's keep Jean stable.

Sending my love to everyone who Stan meant so much to. It means not only am I doing my job keeping his name alive (as it should be), but I am also fulfilling one of the reasons why it isn't my time yet. I thank all of you for that.

Lots of love everyone and have a great weekend on this 47th day of his passing.... and we are still here.

Only positive. He didn't want bickering. We wouldn't win a fight with him. Anyway. I never did lol.

 

[pandora]

Hello @George81,

I realize I'm a little late to the party, but I wanted to express my condolences on the passing of your mother. The first year is always the hardest, though in a lot of cases not anywhere near the end of the mourning process, as most people seem to think.
I am on the site partly because of all the losses I have suffered throughout my life, and I am very familiar with what it's like to miss someone who has passed. If you ever need a friend to vent to please PM me.
I lost my mother at the age of 3, my sister when I was 13, my father when I was 21, and I just lost my husband and the reason for my existence in 2017. His death turned my entire world upside down, and even though it's been nearly 2 1/2 years now, to me it still feels like he just died five minutes ago. Your comment about losing one of your anchors is very applicable to my situation because all of my anchors are gone now. That's one of the reasons I'm here. I am very familiar with all of the emotions and disruptions that happen in your life throughout the mourning process, so again if you ever need to vent, please PM me.
I'm sending you love and hugs to get through the day. Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you have a need to be here, but glad that you found us. I hope it will be as helpful to you as it has been to me.

@BlueWidow - I'm so sorry to read about the people you have lost in your life. I know we aren't replacements for those you loved, but the folks here on SS can be a new type of anchor: a place of safety in the most chaotic of weather. We are here for you.

 

[NotWhatIExpected]

Exactly !

Why so mean?