Venting Where's my hero/heroine at?

[XxEstenxX]

Where's my hero/heroine at?

Someone who won't tell me not to kms or harm myself, but someone who still cares for my wellbeing and makes it known, and wouldn't mind reassuring me or hearing me vent.

Someone who takes time out of their day, even if they're busy to say something to me, just to check in on me if they're really really busy. Not someone who just reaches out to me to talk about our mutual interests. Someone who really just wants to hear from me, even if its about anything.

Someone who wants to hang out with me whoever they can. Someone who sees some online/co-op game and goes, "maybe I should ask them about this..."

I don't want a casual friend, but I'm also tired of having fp's (and I dont trust humans anymore to grow attached to them anyway).

I just want...a friend. Someone who cares, someone I can get along with and have good conversations with, just without the codependency and splitting.

But I guess I dont deserve that.

I'll be happy when I'll no longer have to feel and have these thoughts anymore.

I hope I die. I really dont want to live. I'm tired.