where to find strength to kms?

[yoygnthil]

Tried two times in past but got scared and stopped. How to get myself to kms? I don't want to live and its not like something ia gonna change there is war in my country that had started in 2014 and i don't think its gonna end aby time soon. also I'm queer but cishet passing because i got tired of bullying and now im done with pretending to be someone im not. so please please please just tell me how to kms. it's doesn't get better I just suffer every day please i just want god to give me one last strength for suicide just one final push

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

I don't know, it's very individual. I'm sorry for your suffering. Welcome to this site.

 

[Abyssal]

Sorry for the cop out answer but you'll know when it's your time. Don't try and force yourself to be ready, that's how you regret attempting. Let it come naturally. Spend this time trying to live you best life, that's what I do. Easier said than done though, unfortunately.

 

[AllMyDreams]

I'm really sorry you're going through all that. I always say to only CTB if you're 100% sure for an extended period, because the option will always be there in the future…

Is there anything in life you could realistically aim or aspire towards in the future?

 

[melancholymallory03]

I feel like it's not a matter or strength but rather a matter of readiness. ( that being said it takes a very strong , and brave person of course to carry through the act in my opinion )
When you know you'll know you're ready. Or else you're simply now. Rather than being a strength thing ( unless you don't have the means to do this which is upsetting ) ctb shouldn't be truly hard if you're completely ready and have what you need. Tie up any loose ends you may have and investigate the reasons you may really want to peacefully exit….
Your life sounds very difficult and upsetting I'm so sorry you're going through all this, genuinely . Nobody deserves to live a lie , you should be able to be your true self and be accepted . I'm so sorry…. This sounds like hell…. I hope you can escape somehow , someway.
Im wishing you a peaceful journey

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling trapped here, really wish it's straightforward to die on our own terms, I despise how it has to be so difficult to cease existing. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find what you search for.