Discussion When You Need To Move On

[ambivalent_thespian]

I know, I know, there is no right time to move on from something, especially something traumatic. But at some point, people in your life really do stop having sympathy for you. Of course, you can't rlly stop yourself from being sad when it comes to depression/ptsd/bpd, but at what point do you need to switch from recovery to actually rebuilding? Most athletes eventually bounce back from injuries because they started retraining instead of sitting in bed wallowing.

I hope this doesn't come across as insensitive. I deal with this myself and I don't want to be sad forever, nor do i want to be seen as someone who evades responsibility by hiding behind mental illness/childhood trauma. So, what are your thoughts on this? When would you expect someone to start trying to rebuild?

I for the record, believe that grief doesn't have a timeline, but I don't rlly have patience for people who won't help themselves. I know that's not the best response to have. I'll delve more into this belief if there's interest but i would like to hear your thoughts.

thank you!

 

[witchcraft]

I don't know what it means to help myself anymore. Because I tried, and it didn't work.

So much advice is worded like we're working on a computer or something. Like you just open up your head and replace the faulty RAM or reapply some thermal paste.

That being said, nobody else is obligated to help me or to help anyone. The world would be a better place if everyone helped everyone more often but it's not any individual's literal responsibility; yes, obviously people have to try and help themselves.

What I'm saying is that I don't understand how one can be expected to "help themselves" when they don't know how. If I knew how, I would've by now. But I don't know how to escape into an alternate universe that isn't enshittified by capitalism, where I can actually find work that doesn't make me want to Hemingway myself. Where real meaning can actually be found, not some fleeting shadow of it. Where I haven't been left behind by every single person I went to school with, by everyone in my family, meanwhile I never find success or attain any milestones no matter how hard I try.

 

[thunder_rayne]

"People who won't help themselves." Compairing suicidal people and or suicide survivors to athletes who are healing from an acute injury? I personally found your post highly offensive and insensitive! I can't speak for others but I never asked for any of my traumatic events nor should I be judged by people who think there should be a time limit on when to get over those things! I'm not sorry you don't understand my reasons for being here as equal to yours! This is a perfect example as to why I made a conscious decision to cut everyone out of my life for good and will never accept people back in. I'm became so exhausted with trying to explain and make people understand how much pain I'm in.

It's not just mental hell but some people as myself have several physical illnesses that even the doctors can't fix! Some physical components can never be healed and we have to accept that and be forced to live into a world where people tell us constantly to get over it! I worked yesterday in pain and today my off day I spent in agonizing pain.

Even if I wanted to mentally get over my trauma, I can't. There's always a reminder, a smell, a color, a song, a holiday, a movie that will always take me back !

I'm just sorry you and so many others don't understand! My only wish is people with your mentality stop worrying about and go enjoy you guys beautiful lives

 

[TorturedMike888]

I get where you're coming from, but I tell you it's not always that simple. Take me for example. Back in December of 2021, I suffered a devastating loss. I grieved and then later in 2022, I used my anger to actually start making my life better. I started working out, learning new skills, getting up early, challenged myself to give up porn for weeks at a time and so on. I was finally disciplining myself. I really felt like a phoenix rising from the ashes of a tragedy to become something better. But for some reason, it just wasn't meant to last. Because after 5 months of consistent progress, I somehow developed psychosis and started feeling things moving over my skin. I didn't take any illegal drugs or anything, it just happened and my life hasn't been the same since. No psychiatric medications can treat it and the strain from dealing with it ruined my ability to focus and stay disciplined. My life feels like a cruel joke. Something that a sick sadist would come up with for fun. Because I finally get to have a taste of my true potential, just to have it stripped from me in 5 months, because of this med resistant psychosis. Of course I want to die! It feels like my entire life is rigged against me and I'm just a passenger in my own struggle! Not everyone is allowed to just better themselves and move forward even though it's not right!

 

[itsallogrenow]

"People who won't help themselves." Compairing suicidal people and or suicide survivors to athletes who are healing from an acute injury? I personally found your post highly offensive and insensitive! I can't speak for others but I never asked for any of my traumatic events nor should I be judged by people who think there should be a time limit on when to get over those things! I'm not sorry you don't understand my reasons for being here as equal to yours! This is a perfect example as to why I made a conscious decision to cut everyone out of my life for good and will never accept people back in. I'm became so exhausted with trying to explain and make people understand how much pain I'm in.

It's not just mental hell but some people as myself have several physical illnesses that even the doctors can't fix! Some physical components can never be healed and we have to accept that and be forced to live into a world where people tell us constantly to get over it! I worked yesterday in pain and today my off day I spent in agonizing pain.

Even if I wanted to mentally get over my trauma, I can't. There's always a reminder, a smell, a color, a song, a holiday, a movie that will always take me back !

I'm just sorry you and so many others don't understand! My only wish is people with your mentality stop worrying about and go enjoy you guys beautiful lives

Post pissed me off too. Coming into the suicide part of the site to post this shit, SMH.

 

[starboy2k]

comparing suicidal people to hypothetical injured athletes is pure fucking lunkhead behavior.

please stfu.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm not sure we can always 'jail break' through our issues to recover. I tend to think it's likely more effective if we move at our own pace. It's good to challenge ourselves- of course but, I think we need to feel motivated and reasonably safe to do so.

A bit like a diet say- it's very hard to maintain the will power to stick to a strict diet- unles your headspace is right. We're effectively fighting against what our brain craves to do. That requires a great amount of discipline to fight.

I think it's kind of similar when it comes to challenging our thought patterns. Or- pushing ourselves to do things we may feel excruciatingly uncomfortable.

I imagine- if we rush in too fast- we actually have the potential to do more harm than good to ourselves. Say- a person suffering with social anxiety forces themselves to go to a party. Because they feel terrified, they act akwardly- which makes people react to them strangely. Which confirms to them- that they can't in fact cope in social situations. So- it just worsens their situation effectively.

I tend to think the individual themselves may have some idea of what they are open to trying. Whether it be as small as reading a self help book to lifestyle changes to seeking out a therapist or considering medication.

Still- you're talking also about how other people react to us. If someone is noticibly becoming bored of my problems or- if they keep pushing me to do things I'm uncomfortable with or- if their responses make me feel worse- I simply avoid talking about my problems with them. I'll either try to keep the conversation about them. I'll keep it more to small talk. If there's no way to stop them prying and offering up advice/ becoming annoyed- I'll avoid them all together. Maybe not all together a healthy approach but, I think it's better for all concerned in the long- run.