H
HelpDoesNotExist
Member
- Jul 10, 2024
- 40
I wish I just stopped drinking when it counted. I'll never have anyone like her again and even if I could, I can't take the memories of how I was anymore.
So hard to even see a shrink right away without going into a hospital where they cavity search and forcibly medicate you, put you in a room with some psycho or maybe the guards or roommates decide youd be fun to hurt and who would believe the crazy patient? and even then what are they gonna say that will make me feel like I even deserve to live?
Everybody cared but me, I pushed them away, hurt who I loved the very most and now it's too late, I lost my chance, destroyed my body, alienated everyone for no good reason
And it's all my fault I have to CTB. I left myself no other option through my own decisions. I had a million chances. I hate myself. I hate being me. My body won't let me be happy or feel good anymore because it knows I'm supposed to be dead and deserve it.
So hard to even see a shrink right away without going into a hospital where they cavity search and forcibly medicate you, put you in a room with some psycho or maybe the guards or roommates decide youd be fun to hurt and who would believe the crazy patient? and even then what are they gonna say that will make me feel like I even deserve to live?
Everybody cared but me, I pushed them away, hurt who I loved the very most and now it's too late, I lost my chance, destroyed my body, alienated everyone for no good reason
And it's all my fault I have to CTB. I left myself no other option through my own decisions. I had a million chances. I hate myself. I hate being me. My body won't let me be happy or feel good anymore because it knows I'm supposed to be dead and deserve it.