Venting When will you ctb?

[Lifeless mindset]

About 5 or 6 days from now

 

[Life sucks]

I wish I had a method, I'm going to rot and my body is deteriorating

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I turn 40 late this year. My goal is to not reach my 40th birthday.

 

[cambrai33]

Within the next 48hrs

 

[Area Man]

Well not today because today is already a complicated enough day. It'll be a slow day when no activity or task is liable to be disrupted. I also need to research how I'm going to go about it and what logistics are involved. I think a high drop or oncoming force is the most reliable method where I am. There's no two ways about it, I'm not self-harming or attempting anything unless the end goal is to die.

 

[willitpass]

for now i have no time frame. i am only passively suicidal and although i am still struggling i am doing better than i have been in years. i'm struggling to see where i want to go with my life but i have created some good things for myself that i will continue with until it becomes unbearable. plus my conservatorship ended so i will be able to move out and get much more independence soon which will be such a relief

 

[needed_]

I'm planning next week saturday, my meto arrived today so now I have everything - but I have lots of therapy at the moment like today and tomorrow and my therapist is really worried because he knows me very well and it's soooo hard to hide my feelings because usually I'm really honest. he keeps asking me to promise to not do anything next week as he will be on vacation for a week and he's always like "look me in the eye and promise me that you won't harm yourself. can you do that? if not I have to hospitalise you" and it drives me insaaaaane!!!! I would love to scream in his face that I want to kill myself and finally stop the pain but I can't if I don't want to be hospitalised. it breaks my heart to lie to him

 

[Deleted member 8579]

At this rate, the bus will have to catch me for us to ever cross paths.

 

[Noctis]

I hope this year. I've got all my supplies and everything is ready to go. I just need that one final push to convince me to do it. The instant that motivation hits, I'm going with it. I've failed too many attempts in the past, but now I have a method with much a better success rate, so this'll be the last time.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

This April I will hang myself together with another guy in a deserted forest. We plan it for three years now, both of us has backed out several times but now we are confident that we will succeed.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

Either on my birthday or somewhere in May-June. The latter has a special significance to me. Can be this year, the next or many years down the road. I have no intention to staying after Mum gets called home. Lupus is really starting to test my patience. At this rate I'll be backed into a corner soon enough.

 

[rationaltake]

I'm done. Mostly organised. In agony. I hope I go sooner rather than later. Not functioning. Mainly in bed.

 

[LonelySoul17]

First time posting on this forum, also probably my last time (I'm a much more of an observer). I plan to hang myself on January 29, at night time so I won't be interrupted. After 8 years of struggle with my feelings, thoughts and emotions I'll finally put an end to it all (sorry if it sounded a little bit exaggerated).

And sorry about bad English and all.

 

[Shu]

Whenever I can properly find a way to compress the carotid so i don't have to suffocate but so far no luck

 

[DeadMemes]

I'm planning next week saturday, my meto arrived today so now I have everything - but I have lots of therapy at the moment like today and tomorrow and my therapist is really worried because he knows me very well and it's soooo hard to hide my feelings because usually I'm really honest. he keeps asking me to promise to not do anything next week as he will be on vacation for a week and he's always like "look me in the eye and promise me that you won't harm yourself. can you do that? if not I have to hospitalise you" and it drives me insaaaaane!!!! I would love to scream in his face that I want to kill myself and finally stop the pain but I can't if I don't want to be hospitalised. it breaks my heart to lie to him

That's called blackmail. Your therapist is blackmailing you. that's just... wrong

 

[_Seeking]

I still need to purchase N, but likely in the second half of this year. I don't think I will set a specific date, just have everything on hand and then when it gets to be too much, I will do it within a day or two.

 

[DeadMemes]

It comes in waves, currently I'm on a "high" (big quotation marks), whenever it decides to dip back down again, I'll gladly board that bus.

 

[peepo]

I only have $2000 in my bank. If I save conservatively, it should last me 5 months which is just before my birthday. If not it will be sooner

 

[MrOptions]

Just lost $4600 in the stock market in a day. Credit card debt over 30K, EIDL loan of 38K, medical bills pilling up, stressful job and recent cancer diagnosis late last year. Oh yeah I am in my late 40's, and been divorced twice.

Fuck this life. I'd rather not exist, then to live in this fucking hell.

 

[rudebeat]

I was planning on this weekend but now I've lost some of my confidence. On top of tons of other things which already brought me to the point of buying sn, I'm now getting harassed in 4 out of the 4 college courses I'm taking because of a nervous habit I recently picked up which is literally impossible for me to stop doing. If I can't get a doctor to prescribe me the medicine I want to stop it there's a chance it'll happen this weekend, and a much larger chance it'll happen sometime later in the semester. I imagine the students calling me a freak and talking about how annoyed they are by something I physically can't stop will only continue to get more and more annoyed over the semester. I can imagine during an exam one of them will be really upset and maybe say something to me or the professor after class.
I'm planning on making it a thing at my college. I'm going to lock myself in a single bathroom in the middle of the night, turn on the shower to block the noise I make, take my sn, and only after I've drank my sn I'll anonymously post a suicide note on my college's reddit page (if anyone here thinks I'm at risk of getting discovered because I posted the note I can just use a VPN). Once I die the university will post a statement that I died and it won't matter that I posted it anonymously. I know tons of people from my college will say I only did it for attention (as if it's common that people end a perfectly good life just for attention). I'm not exactly streaming my suicide so the college can see, I'm not doing it out of revenge and I'm not even sure if I'll mention the harassment I received because I wouldn't want that weighing on those people's consciences for the rest of their lives. Or maybe I won't post the note. I'm sure many will still call me a freak (it's a big frat and sorority college.)