What's the reason why you want to cbt?

[komm susser todd]

Because i dont like living on this damn planet anymore. I either want to just be met with eternal darkness or get a chance to reroll the dice and maybe be some one i can live with being

 

[Etherealdignity333]

Dad CTB when I was 8.
Mom abusive.
Two month old daughter died.
Sister was the sociopath responsible for her death.
Gave up a job at the fucking Centers for Disease Control to move back home in search of the love I never had.
Lost the love of my life due to failing to be able to be fucking normal in a relationship due to all the abuse, neglect, and trauma.
Now he's dating a surgeon who is, as he says, "extremely stable and emotionally mature".
Got fired from my job as a psychiatric nurse after a patient wrapped a cord around his neck in the emergency room.
Got reported to the board of nursing, now, even if I keep my license, I'll be marked for life with disciplinary action.
I can't find a job.
Took out a loan for a lawyer to defend my license. Probably going to use it to get to Mexico. Fuck this.

I'll never be normal and happy.

Starting completely over, with barely any friends or a shred of mental health?

I don't think so.

Bus driver, over here!

 

[HGL91]

Dad CTB when I was 8.
Mom abusive.
Two month old daughter died.
Sister was the sociopath responsible for her death.
Gave up a job at the fucking Centers for Disease Control to move back home in search of the love I never had.
Lost the love of my life due to failing to be able to be fucking normal in a relationship due to all the abuse, neglect, and trauma.
Now he's dating a surgeon who is, as he says, "extremely stable and emotionally mature".
Got fired from my job as a psychiatric nurse after a patient wrapped a cord around his neck in the emergency room.
Got reported to the board of nursing, now, even if I keep my license, I'll be marked for life with disciplinary action.
I can't find a job.
Took out a loan for a lawyer to defend my license. Probably going to use it to get to Mexico. Fuck this.

I'll never be normal and happy.

Starting completely over, with barely any friends or a shred of mental health?

I don't think so.

Bus driver, over here!

I started to study Nursing, but didn't finish because it seemed like a career where it would be really easy to be sued or fired since it's dealing with people's lives. I don't know how my aunt worked as an ICU nurse for 35 years. Think I would have gone insane a lot earlier in life.

I bet there's tons of nurses that have dealt with the same thing as you. It's a really hard career, and really hard to even get a Nursing license. Not easy schooling at all, so I take off my invisible hat off to you for even working in that field. For that, you are a superhuman!

Dad CTB when I was 8.
Mom abusive.
Two month old daughter died.
Sister was the sociopath responsible for her death.
Gave up a job at the fucking Centers for Disease Control to move back home in search of the love I never had.
Lost the love of my life due to failing to be able to be fucking normal in a relationship due to all the abuse, neglect, and trauma.
Now he's dating a surgeon who is, as he says, "extremely stable and emotionally mature".
Got fired from my job as a psychiatric nurse after a patient wrapped a cord around his neck in the emergency room.
Got reported to the board of nursing, now, even if I keep my license, I'll be marked for life with disciplinary action.
I can't find a job.
Took out a loan for a lawyer to defend my license. Probably going to use it to get to Mexico. Fuck this.

I'll never be normal and happy.

Starting completely over, with barely any friends or a shred of mental health?

I don't think so.

Bus driver, over here!

Ps. I bet your ex will get dumped by the surgeon because the surgeon is "so emotionally mature and extremely stable" that they don't want to deal with a fickle human.

 

[malummo]

I no longer belong here and scared of the airplane

 

[Shamana]

Am I the only one who doesn't have an actual reason? I just feel like life is not worth living

It's fair to feel that way, but I feel that killing yourself for that reason is quite extreme.

 

[Saga]

im the same. theres just nothing in life anymore

 

[soda_pressed]

Because there is nothing left for me in life.
Diagnosed and have previously suffered from depression, anxiety, aspergers, anorexia, bulimia, and think I suffer from BPD.
I've also been raped, and am addicted to drugs/alcohol.

Everyone hates me. I apologise for making mistakes due to my illnesses, and am then mocked for apologising.

 

[lonedella]

I have bipolar and th manic stages I can deal with th depression not so much which seems to be the most common for me however right now I'm having my second mixed episode which is just driving me crazy I haven't slept in 3 days tablets are no Knockin me out like usual
I have zero family a few friends but they don't support me in ways that could help a lot I'm sick of cycling through mania etc so as soon as I can do thi properly I will but I hope everyone her gets peace with what ever they decide to do x

 

[I’vehadenough]

Incurable disease, scoliosis, severe degenerative disc disease, a laundry list of psych issues and ctb attempts, Epilepsy, years of disappointment and heartache over friends and partners, zero family left or friends, PTSD - just sick of fighting for a life not worth living. I've experienced both good and horrible, exhausted options for treatment of my physical issues and mental health and it boils down to no reason to continue suffering. Especially with an incurable disease and disability issues. All I want now is some kindness before I go as life has been unkind since childhood but it's not likely to happen.

I feel for you, I'm in a similar situation. Hugs.

How do you get through each day?
I was severely facially disfigured to the point where no one will touch me anymore...isn't that enough?

 

[Pan]

At 64, I know I definately am ready to take flight ASAP. I am done and want out, whether by gun, rope or fentenyl. I would like to partner with someone ideally (in ctb, that is). I've had it.

 

[Pan]

I too am 64 and I too have had it with this life, and the dreadful world we live in...if you want a partner, I am in, if you will.

Because i dont like living on this damn planet anymore. I either want to just be met with eternal darkness or get a chance to reroll the dice and maybe be some one i can live with being

You WILL reroll the dice and find your place in the multiverse. You have paid for any bad karma. Your next life will be AS YOU., forever. Check out biocentrism and its' conclusion regarding death—-death is a game, a trick. It does'nt exist and never did.

 

[paroxyical]

depression
constant anxiety
my autism holding me back and making things impossible
emotionally abusive family
trauma
struggles with osdd-2 (basically alters that appear after trauma or a bad event)
delusional thinking
hallucinations
instability
my hatred for my body and the lack of acceptance and the transphobia from my family
the world is just fkn hard
living isnt worth what you have to put in to live
everyone judges you for everything
youre never left alone. everyone has an opinion on you. and its never a nice one.
eating disorders
memory loss
emptiness and pain

 

[S1mpleme]

Loneliness.