Venting What’s keeping you alive?

[Life_is_comedy]

It's hope, always the damned hope. It's like the universe, God or whatever deity exists out there just gives me hope that things will be okay due to circumstances happening around me then suddenly the rugs start getting pulled from underneath left and right.

Things start to get okay then they get bad then okay then worse. I don't get it. It's like a prank or a joke is being pulled right under my nose.

 

[Life_and_Death]

In a backwards way my disorders are keeping me alive.

 

[Lmd]

Laziness. Where I live police investigate suicide cases so they are gonna look over my stuff so i want to clean and format my computer.. When i feel extremly suicide i just go to sleep because nobody is pushing me out of my comfort zone.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Survival instinct :)

 

[Painless_end]

No access to any painless method.

 

[Mr2005]

Girlfriend. Cat. That's it I think. That's my life and I know it's more than some people have but if it's not enough I should leave so I can die. Of course if I still don't die then I've just lost the one thing I've got

 

[AJ95]

Previously it was my doggy and mum, but it's gotten to the point where even they're not enough.

At the moment it's time, I've set my date as October 31st, so when that comes around I'll be out of here

 

[Deleted member 1496]

Trying not to dump lots of work for my survivors. Which I realize now is ironic because one of the reasons I've been so overwhelmed in life is is how much work has been dumped on me over my lifetime. (I'm one of those people who lit themselves on fire to keep others warm. So many problems I understand only after quitting therapy forever.)

 

[MrBigSad]

Guilt over leaving my parents.
They will have to pay funeral costs. This and of course

Survival instinct :)

 

[DyingAlf]

Damn survival instinct & interfering prolifers

 

[Futile]

Fear of ending up paralyzed

 

[Deleted member 19654]

No access to SN, N or a good anchor point for full suspension

 

[Mr. Morningstar]

Friends

 

[okaoki]

tried the "hope" part its been years , same old same old, what's keeping me alive? , probably
manga/anime that suppose to release in Oct but delayed it to Dec , i probably only get to watch few episodes
before im ending this year.

 

[MariV]

my mother

No access to SN, N or a good anchor point for full suspension

no access to SN? may i ask why? i gotbot quite easily

 

[Deleted member 19654]

my mother


no access to SN? may i ask why? i gotbot quite easily

I'm living with my parents at the moment so I can't risk them finding out by getting to the parcel first

 

[Kruger]

The fact I cannot find N or SN. I am so ready to go.

 

[Ghost2211]

Children

 

[Lilacmoon]

Love... :|

 

[bumoshi]

rn, the only thing is keeping me alive is music and my cats, I don't care about people that much to be my reason to live

 

[emma]

my dog & other pets, being unable to access an ideal method, my workplace is already understaffed so if i died they would be even more fucked, i dont want to hurt people.

 

[Kruger]

my dog & other pets, being unable to access an ideal method, my workplace is already understaffed so if i died they would be even more fucked, i dont want to hurt people.

I lost my nearly 20 year old pet last week and he was literally the only thing keeping me here. I'm so ready to go, if only I could find SN or N!

 

[Lupgevif]

Laziness to research and prepare. I felt a little bit hopeful those last days, but it didn't stop me wanting to die.

 

[WornOutLife]

My dad. Can't leave him alone dealing with all the sh**. It'd be too much for him.

 

[Salt]

the fear of failing,nd living the rest of my life like vegetable.

 

[TheQ22]

the fear of failing,nd living the rest of my life like vegetable.

That's a fair worry.

 

[spider2020]

I had a sort of explosion of survival instinct when I did see worsening of my symptoms (mostly unbeareable and uncontrolled pain) about 10 months ago. After that I fought like a lion for my health but not against myself (like in depression) but against the Health System.
Now that the pathology is clear but for legal reasons is not confirmed (just almost confirmed) I have very few options including ctb, because there's no certainty that I will be cured, assisted or not. Paradoxically, I will have to fight this great survival instinct the more symptoms aggravate and the less the possibility of definitive answers I may obtain. CTB also scares me because of pain, but I also know that CTBing may the only exit from unbearable physical pain. I'm on the edge.

 

[deathangel34]

lack of courage.. i am afraif of failing as well since i dont dare to use the hard methods..and the poisoning methods are not reliable enough. Onve the fucking police broke down the door of my appartement and took me to the madhouse, What i saw there i will never forget it. its inhuman torture.

Greetings from Germany

 

[spider2020]

lack of courage..

Some say that CTBing is an act of cowardice: it's so easy to say that when they're not suffering theirselves.
A lot of courage is needed for CTB, really a lot.

 

[TripleA]

Damn air!