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nonamegirl

Student
Jan 6, 2020
183
I'd rather not think about that. too painful......

I often think I would have preffered to never have been born. Where there is life there is suffering or the potentiel of that. I'd rather be freed from that.
 
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charlottewilts

charlottewilts

read Dostoyevsky
Jun 15, 2019
494
hard to say. due to the nature of my illness i scantily have a stable identity, so it would be hard to choose just one profession... though i've been fascinated with the idea of being a nun since i was very young. i'm religious and i'm very happy to give people guidance (whether it's spiritual or of other nature) and help those in need. since many nuns are required to have a college degree, i'd choose teaching.

i really love talking with people, i often approach those who are less fortunate in life, even if just to give them a cigarette or a swig of my drink if i have no money to offer. it's so heartbreaking that many of them are treated as subhuman... trust me, if you meet a beggar or a homeless person, take some time to talk with them... you will learn a lot about life. i've been fortunate enough never to have lived on the streets, but i've been treated like an animal in psychiatric units, so i can empathise somewhat.

sadly, i would never be accepted in a convent due to how many self-inflicted scars i have (even though the habit would cover all of them), substance abuse, and of course the personality disorder...
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,820
I would probably try to live a decent life and experience the things that most people would experience and really know what it is like to live like most people, rather than living in my own world. I would rather not have Aspergers and just have a normal brain and just be able to experience life the way most people do, socialize without all the troubles, etc.
 
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H

HadenoughHA

Member
Dec 17, 2019
20
Just to relax appreciate and enjoy my life that's all I want to do
 
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cosmicpixiedust

cosmicpixiedust

Pixie
Jun 5, 2019
972
I wanted to major in cultural anthropology and minor in archaeology. I doubt I'll ever go to school for it now, though.
 
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Painless_end

Painless_end

Life is too difficult for me
Oct 11, 2019
794
Beautiful question. I don't have a "mental illness" per se as per any medical definition. Some schizoid traits have been diagnosed a few years back. Nothing big.

But, what I do have is mental weakness or inadequacy wrt doing basic things in life like a full-time job etc.

If I did not have such a debilitating problem, I would have gone with flow of my heart and chosen to have a career that would help me travel the world and also earn decent money.

I might have become a writer, or photographer.
 
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Tinhoo

Tinhoo

I want to sleep forever, let me die in peace
Dec 16, 2019
16
be able to trust and love close friends, about dream job... I think writer would be perfect
 
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Deleted member 13227

Deleted member 13227

Good night
Dec 21, 2019
71
This maybe sounds weird but I wanted to be a police officer when I was a kid. Now I have dreams about being a pilot and travel around the world, even tho this world hurt me a lot.
 
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Shero

Shero

Experienced
Dec 19, 2019
274
It says much, when im not even able to answer the question.
 
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greencoat111

greencoat111

Member
Jan 5, 2020
43
If love to have been a paramedic but I became partially sighted when I was just 20 so driving was out of the question
This maybe sounds weird but I wanted to be a police officer when I was a kid. Now I have dreams about being a pilot and travel around the world, even tho this world hurt me a lot.
My dad was a police officer and its a job I would have liked too
 
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T

TimeToBiteTheDust

Visionary
Nov 7, 2019
2,322
Finishing my career. Every time I see someone succeeding I want to kill myself.
 
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littleflower88

Member
Dec 9, 2019
18
I would have had my own cake shop or travelled the world picking up work where I go, soaking in new experiences. When in reality I'm too scared to even leave my own house
 
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T

Thatdude

Life is temporary, death is permanent
Sep 26, 2019
473
Get a good job, have a family, and live a normal life. It's boring, but it's better than this shit show. In fact a big reason why I want to ctb is because this is nearly impossible, and I've jumped through so many hoops to get where I'm at today.

Now if I really couldn't have a normal life for whatever reason. Become a fighter pilot in the Air Force. And try to become an astronaut. However I would have to still get a waver for hay fever. But assuming my autism could've been cured at birth. I'm assuming that could've been cured too
 
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gambardella

gambardella

De l'inconvénient d'être né
Dec 1, 2019
44
I would've liked to finish prep school. Write short stories or essays. Improve my photography. Tell him how much he meant to me. Get better at fencing or thai boxing.
 
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UpandDownPrincess

UpandDownPrincess

Elementalist
Dec 31, 2019
833
I would have had children.
 
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S1mpleme

Mage
Dec 27, 2019
517
I don't have mental illness and want to CTB.
 
L

littleflower88

Member
Dec 9, 2019
18
I would have had children.
Isn't it sh** when your life is dictated by a stupid illness, it kills me that my partner wants children and I've had to pretend like I'm not interested because I don't want to pass this sh** down. Sending love
 
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Papaya569

Member
Apr 15, 2019
13
I would have liked to finish med school, right know severe depression and suicidal thoughts are making my dream of becoming a doctor nearly impossible.I would have liked to have a family but my body is so deformed I can't even get a gf.
 
CynicalHopelessness

CynicalHopelessness

Messenger of Silence
Jan 9, 2020
940
Get friends, I think. I have no idea about anything else, honestly. We're talking a decade where every day is different from what it has been.
 
P

Pan

Paragon
Oct 24, 2019
914
I would have left my family earlier, given the abuse in my home and get my M.F.A. degree in fine arts rather than library and information. True, iI became a Library director, but this bad choice still haunts me to this day. That and all the drugs I did and overall acting over the top.
 
Mooshi

Mooshi

Across space and across time, I will be there.
Jan 13, 2020
205
If somehow I didn't have any mental illnesses and all my problems vanished, I'd probably find a career in horse back riding. Or I'd draw and sell art online..
 
blackpaper

blackpaper

Member
Nov 28, 2019
9
I would have liked to experience how it feels to be loved, to have girlfriend, family, kids. I would have liked to finish my education and become a scientist and
to have lived in a more enlightened state of mind.
I would have liked to go to the moon and mars.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
I have no idea and I think that has a lot to do with me fucking my life up. Didn't know what I wanted to do and at 33 I still don't. I'm never going to be a high flyer or anything. Just a quiet life is the best I can hope for but it's getting harder and harder to not only have that but be content with it.
 
Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

He/him - Metal head
Feb 22, 2020
1,771
If I had a healthy brain, I would probably have earned a bachelor's degree in meteorology by now and could be on my way to being a professional weather forecaster. Instead, whenever I'm feeling extra bad, I just watch random youtube videos of severe weather coverage while wishing it was me that was doing it. Kind of sad, now that I think about it.
 
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Inferdan

Inferdan

Meeting the first minor relapse after recovery
Nov 3, 2019
450
Video Game Designer
Glad to see another with the same interests. Though, the best I can do right now is concepts and ideas :ahhha:
 
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P

Pan

Paragon
Oct 24, 2019
914
If I had a healthy brain, I would probably have earned a bachelor's degree in meteorology by now and could be on my way to being a professional weather forecaster. Instead, whenever I'm feeling extra bad, I just watch random youtube videos of severe weather coverage while wishing it was me that was doing it. Kind of sad, now that I think about it.
Clearly, you have the talent; go for it.
Many people are in that situation. I find it easier to support them if they don't have partners or children. That is just my prejudice speaking.

If you want to ctb, you have a mental illness. Period.
Glad to see another with the same interests. Though, the best I can do right now is concepts and ideas :ahhha:
If you want to ctb, then you have a mental illness. Period.
Concepts and ideas are well enough, but if you have never had mental illness, then what drew you to this site? Concepts? Ideas? About what, exactly? Something is'nt quite meshing here. You are'nt in the closet about it, are you?
 
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Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

He/him - Metal head
Feb 22, 2020
1,771
Clearly, you have the talent; go for it.

I would if going to the university I need to go to was cheap and affordable, but it's not. I also have too much debt from previous student loans and medical bills, so I can't do loans. If I could get the job without the degree and just learn everything on my own, I suppose my chances would be much higher, but without the degree, I'll just be overlooked by every weather service there is. I'm kind of screwed because of the debt.
 
P

Pan

Paragon
Oct 24, 2019
914
Many people are in that situation. I find it easier to support them if they don't have partners or children. That is just my prejudice speaking.
They are? Since when? Why are you closeted about being mentally ill? You would'nt be here if you were'nt, right? You said it when you used the word "prejudice". MOST revealing...
Glad to see another with the same interests. Though, the best I can do right now is concepts and ideas :ahhha:
What are you so closeted about.if you did'nt have a mental illness, you would'nt be here. You know that and I know that. Oh, so you are a video game designer, yes? Youandbillions of others. Best of luck.
 
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