R
RebeccaB1322
New Member
- Feb 22, 2026
- 1
I am 43 years old and have been experiencing trauma since literally the day I was born. About 18 months ago I was diagnosed with a chronic illness and no one can figure out why, or why treatments will not work at all.
I have 2 kids and a husband. I know all too well that I am nothing more than a burden.
I figured out how I want to go. I have the note saved in my drafts of my email. I have started my plan to have everyone I love hate me so then they'll be relieved when I'm gone. I have made sure that my DNR/DNI is up to date so no matter what I cannot be saved. So why the hell can't I just pull the trigger? I honestly want this to be the least traumatic thing so I keep coming up with excuses, all of which have to do with scheduling. I know damn well that this is best for everyone involved, so what the hell is wrong with me?
I have 2 kids and a husband. I know all too well that I am nothing more than a burden.
I figured out how I want to go. I have the note saved in my drafts of my email. I have started my plan to have everyone I love hate me so then they'll be relieved when I'm gone. I have made sure that my DNR/DNI is up to date so no matter what I cannot be saved. So why the hell can't I just pull the trigger? I honestly want this to be the least traumatic thing so I keep coming up with excuses, all of which have to do with scheduling. I know damn well that this is best for everyone involved, so what the hell is wrong with me?