What should I do with my cat?

[AlistairSky]

This might be a minor concern, but I think about it a lot. My cat is 12 years old, and a bit of a handful. She's been abandoned multiple times and has anxiety and a lot of destructive habits. She's antisocial with most people and animals, but clingy with me.

I already know she's not going with my family. They're hoarders, they'll force her to cohabitate with other animals, and won't give her the stimulation she needs. I'll probably send her to a senior cat rescue.

The question is, should I do it before or after I die? I kind of want her to see my body and understand that I didn't abandon her. But I know that might be traumatizing in its own right.

I've honestly considered just waiting until she passes away, however long that takes, but I think that might be my cowardice talking. I came pretty close to shooting myself the other day, but she drove me crazy, meowing and scratching the carpet, and I lost my nerve. I feel so guilty about her, but maybe I'm using her as an excuse.

 

[aria_of_a_dream]

If I were you I'd wait until she passes away.. I recently abandoned my cat I had for 10 years because I was moving and wouldn't be able to take him with me, and the guilt from abandoning him is unbelievable. Probably the worst I've ever felt about anything

 

[mysticatedwine]

i agree with the person above. the precious and pure things of life are very rare, and a cat is one of them. we need to cherish them and protect them as much as we can from this strange, dangerous and depressing world

 

[BradGuy123]

I agree with the previous two replies. If possible, wait until she passes. She loves you. Rehoming her at 12 years old would not be easy for her. Whether or not she sees your body and someone else takes her to the rescue or if she is taken to the rescue ahead of time, she will be traumatized either way.

 

[AlistairSky]

I'll do my best to hold off.

It's stupid to be jealous of a cat, but everyone's talking about how pure she is and how she should be protected from trauma. I wonder why people don't feel that way about each other?

 

[Eriktf]

unless you need to ctb asap then i just wait to the cat dies, 12 years are old so cant be more then a few years tops

 

[AlistairSky]

unless you need to ctb asap then i just wait to the cat dies, 12 years are old so cant be more then a few years tops

You never know, she's still healthy and energetic. I hope she can make it to 20, as long as it's with someone who can keep her stable and stimulated.

 

[lasttogo]

I would recommend you try to wait.

But I also want to let you know I took in a 10-11 year old from a lady who was about to pass. I had her for 5 years I think. She took the rehoming well, never seemed like she was confused or missing anything or anyone. She passed with me eventually. If you need to do it, I would post on Facebook marketplace or something like that, in Canada we have Kijiji. Meet up or chat with a few people, and then you can choose who she spends the rest of her time with. Waiting would be better, but it is possible to find her a good home if you absolutely cannot wait any longer. :)

 

[It'sMyLife]

I know you asked but ,seriously, total strangers on a forum telling you you should wait years ( unknown multiple years perhaps ) to make such a big decision because of a pet. If that's what they will do then let them. That's their choice. You do what you have to do. It's your decision and only yours. You could take the next year finding a perfect home for this cat. You don't have to rush. If living for this cat keeps you alive for several more years then that's great too. Maybe you'll feel differently in another year and I hope you do. I wish for you to have a happier existence than you do now. Please read the quote below my post from Tired Horse

I don't wish anyone good luck at catching the bus. I wish we could all find our way to a joyous and satisfying life that would make death an unfortunate reality rather than a longed-for relief. But all of us here know that the Fates aren't always that kind, and so I wish you all the most peaceful relief from your pain that you can find, and if that peace is brought by Death, I hope Death comes gently. Tired Horse

 

[MicahBell]

this hits close to home. i have a 15 year old cat. my family is… okay, but none of them love him as much as i do. i hope he doesnt think i abandoned him

 

[AlistairSky]

I know you asked but ,seriously, total strangers on a forum telling you you should wait years ( unknown multiple years perhaps ) to make such a big decision because of a pet. If that's what they will do then let them. That's their choice. You do what you have to do. It's your decision and only yours. You could take the next year finding a perfect home for this cat. You don't have to rush. If living for this cat keeps you alive for several more years then that's great too. Maybe you'll feel differently in another year and I hope you do. I wish for you to have a happier existence than you do now. Please read the quote below my post from Tired Horse

I don't wish anyone good luck at catching the bus. I wish we could all find our way to a joyous and satisfying life that would make death an unfortunate reality rather than a longed-for relief. But all of us here know that the Fates aren't always that kind, and so I wish you all the most peaceful relief from your pain that you can find, and if that peace is brought by Death, I hope Death comes gently. Tired Horse

Thank you, that's very kind.

I don't believe happiness is impossible, but I don't like the odds, and I'm tired. Who knows, though.

 

[recat]

This is on my mind nonstop and all I can think of is that futurama scene of Fry's dog waiting for him to come back until the end of time. I would likely do it far from home, so my cat would think i'm out constantly waiting for my return, only to find either my ex or the police. It distresses me. But, at least, I think my ex loves my cat as much as I do and he would take care of said cat. I wish I could find peace or any kind of sustainable way to feel like it's worth staying around... All the friends I talk to just utterly do not understand save for one..

 

[sweetcreep]

i'm still here because of my cats. if they died, i'll ctb the same day. i want to find loving homes for them so i can ctb with peace of mind, but just the thought of them thinking that i'm never coming back for them makes me feel so bad. spend as much time with her as you can, no matter what you decide. spoil her while you're still here.

 

[nuva]

I agree with the other comments, I think you should wait until the cat has passed away.
I had a cat that lived with me for about 13 years and I had to leave her with my family about two years ago when I moved to another city. Later I found out from my mother that she ran away and I never saw her again. Maybe something broke in me then, because she was my only consolation, I still feel guilty, even though I know I couldn't do anything about it. I regret not being there for her last days.

 

[Kanoh]

The cat won't care at all whether you live or die. Once you're dead and the cat got hungry it would just start eating your corpse. So don't bother yourself with it.