I find it very funny that we are having the discussion that people shouldn't choose to exclude some groups from their dating pools in a pro-choice forum.
You're missing the point... being pro-choice has nothing to do with being biased. Like you have
every right to make decisions based on personal preferences but don't expect to get applause if you, for example, exclude
all black people (to use a more visual example) from the dating pool. Such exclusive ideas are considered a racial bias by the scientific community - don't believe me? I can show you studies that examine such preferences from a scientific standpoint. And I don't care what arguments you propose to justify racial or sexual bias. It's shady and I'm gonna call that out, deal with that.
I'm all for trans people doing whatever they want with their bodies in the pursuit of their dreams and freedom, I applaud that, actually. But you have to understand that these changes vary a lot from person to person, and most people search for beauty in the body of the person they are sexually attracted to, some trans people turn out very well, but it's unrealistic to expect that everyone will look like their preferred gender, specially the ones who are early in their transitions or developed a very masculine/feminine appearance because of their genes during their puberty.
What's your point? You even acknowledge that trans people can achieve a great passing right in your second sentence. So in what way does that correlate to people that exclude
all trans people from the dating pool? If it's about looks, I can assure you that you've probably walked past trans people without even noticing. So you'd have no reason to reject them unless they told you about their trans background... or to put it extremely simple because the concept of bias seems to be very difficult to grasp for some people in this thread, let me express myself in form of a meme.
The genitals are also an extremely important part of what makes a person sexually attractive, not because these need to be big, small or good looking, just because they need to be there and look the part. Genital surgery for trans people (both mtf and ftm) is still not satisfactory for biological people and barely making any progress. And as I said above, this also varies greatly depending on many factors.
Why are you talking about genitals now? Do you know what genitals I have in my pants? Do you know what genitals
all trans people have in their pants? Why does that matter when we're talking about trans people? Do you ask cis-people about their genitals on your first date or what's that obsession with genitals about? Once again you're expressing your bias because you make assumptions about
all trans people and their genitals based on stereotypes and rumors, in other words, nothing but hot hair. And what do you know about genital surgery in the first place? You're not trans and I doubt you've ever seen a neo-vagina in real life. But that's quite interesting, maybe you start to give me some details about what's "not satisfactory" about the results of these surgeries, according to your post you seem to know a lot about that process, right? I'm sure your opinion is
solely based on experience and scientific facts, right? Anything else would just confirm that you're arguing from a biased point of view.
And I can assure you, you wouldn't know the difference between a neo-vagina and a natal-vagina anyway. Trans women people can have multiple orgasms, squirt, experience penetration, self-lubricate, the list goes on - the biological functions are there. I'd even make the case that neo-vaginas are
more aesthetic than natal-vaginas because their vagina is designed by surgeons that are specialized in vaginoplasty, so it's basically a free plastic surgery on genitals and they take your own wishes and suggestions about your optimal, personal vagina into account when performing the surgery. Quite an upgrade compared to natal-genitals, right?
You can't force anyone to be attracted to something they are not, it's sad, but that's the way it is.
Nobody denied that. You're completely missing the point. Once again, and maybe you'll understand it if I repeat myself just often enough: having genital preferences isn't the same thing as excluding
all trans people from the dating pool
on principle - and that's the point I'm trying to make here. If you decide not to date an individual because there are specific aspects you don't like about them, that's your right. But excluding them all from the dating pool because they belong to a specific group of people is discriminatory.
And don't come at me with homosexuality, I've heard this argument plenty of times. It's an entirely different subject but it proves you wrong. There are countless of lesbian and gay people that date trans people just fine - because their genitals match their preferences and they're not an asshole about what genitals they had 20 years ago. Some food for thought.
Like the difference between a trans lesbian and a cis lesbian are minor. It's the birth certificate, completely irrelevant when it comes to dating.
It's not about being proud or not, these biases are simply a thing that exist. Besides, people are biased about literally everything in their lives, why is it such a controversy that sexual preferences are one of them?
I've said it often enough, sexual preferences aren't the controversy here. The transphobia and obvious bias that's implied with statements like "I don't date trans people" is the issue.