what do you learn from being abused, raped, or suicidally depressed? because i dont believe those things are necessary and wouldnt care for them to be
Imagine consciousness as an artist who's passionate about exploring every possible medium, every technique, every way of creating. Physical incarnation is just one incredibly rich medium for that creative expression.
Your essential self chose this particular set of circumstances because they offered optimal opportunities for desired growth. Your job isn't to remain trapped by circumstances, but to extract the intended learning and move forward with greater wisdom and compassion. We are eternal beings temporarily focused in physical reality.
I believe that everyone is on their own journey in life, and the lessons you are meant to learn from your troubles is up to you to figure out. I believe you have those answers, it's just that in the West we are taught to ignore our instincts and gut feelings, as this is what inner wisdom is usually labeled as.
I realize that what I am saying sounds crazy to a lot of people, and I don't expect anyone else to buy it. It is just what I believe.
And before you say "well that's easy for you to say", believe me, I have been through some horrible things. Maybe I'm just tricking myself by believing these things but in all honesty, it doesn't matter. Believing what I said above has changed me for the better and that's all that matters. Focusing on the negative things that have happened to me did nothing but make things worse. And I did that for a long time.
Don't get me wrong, I still want to ctb, but that's more because I'm in a irreversible position.
I'm sorry you had to go through those things - I don't mean to make light of them, or to be dismissive. If I came across as that way it was not my intention and to properly answer you would probably take a much longer explanation than anyone would care to read.