Youtube shoved a video at me today i didnt ask for. Turned out to be anti SS/ctb propaganda. Id like a balanced assessment but lets face it overlords will never allow it.
This is the only place left where we can be uncensored, for the most part, about what we go thru and i am so fucking sick of outsiders seeing one thing or just straight up hate that we have a place to go to talk about being suicidal, the whys and wherefores and what to dos be it help help or resources for the final help. They seem to hate the fact they cant control us and yet love that they can blame us for the outcomes of what they've done to contribute to the people in their lives who ctb. Because we have resources and don't discourage it like "they" demand with forced helplines and calling us crazy or hostile when we refuse. Let alone locking us up for it.
Im fucking tired of always being censored i wake up and feell caged every fucking day, be it old expectations, failed attempts, opening google or youtube. Its all a big filthy cage. They show you what they approve of and tell you "you need help" if you dont agree. I hate them all.
Do we have bad actors on this forum? Absolutely. Everywhere has bad actors. Do we perhaps hate doctors and distrust them serverely based on our experiences? Yes. Theres a reason we tell others to not tell the whole truth for they will lock you up... because they lock us up! Yet i hear people mock us saying "they dont do that" showing their ignorance in and of the system.
It pissed me off watching cuz my experience in this site has always been positive, considering the topic, all the chats ive ever seen are usually supportive and empathetic even when we dont want to hear shit about recovery, we know theres a whole section for that too. Which is great! Because for many their needs for this site can be in passing. It serves so much purpose that outsiders cant seem to understand. Even when we get snappy at eachother for saying "seek help" in various ways. Ive never seen them blocked. Ive had back and forths with a couple people myself in the past.
Its not SS's fault your family offed themselves. Its their choice. And if someone was being shadey af then thats them. But to penalize us for having methods and resources in a world made to cage us shouldn't be a crime if nothing we arent holding them down and telling them too. Could there be people encouraging ctb? As in "just do it!"? Sure, but not that ive seen personally. In my short experiences here its more "i empathize with the desire to ctb" and they havent encouraged or discouraged so much as spoke about their own feels and desires, that kinda comrodery. Again. Maybe im just bias or ignorant but btwn the video and its comments i was beyond frustrated/ pissed.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm ignorant and just havent explored as much as i thought over the years. But still....
Well thanks for sticking for the rant. Im just on a big neg spike this week. Learning why im like this more and more and this sight has helped with some tough times and it just urked me when that propaganda hate video popped into my feed cuz of course god forbid you dont conform to the approved ideas.
Sorry for anything repeated... its been loud in my head this week.
This is the only place left where we can be uncensored, for the most part, about what we go thru and i am so fucking sick of outsiders seeing one thing or just straight up hate that we have a place to go to talk about being suicidal, the whys and wherefores and what to dos be it help help or resources for the final help. They seem to hate the fact they cant control us and yet love that they can blame us for the outcomes of what they've done to contribute to the people in their lives who ctb. Because we have resources and don't discourage it like "they" demand with forced helplines and calling us crazy or hostile when we refuse. Let alone locking us up for it.
Im fucking tired of always being censored i wake up and feell caged every fucking day, be it old expectations, failed attempts, opening google or youtube. Its all a big filthy cage. They show you what they approve of and tell you "you need help" if you dont agree. I hate them all.
Do we have bad actors on this forum? Absolutely. Everywhere has bad actors. Do we perhaps hate doctors and distrust them serverely based on our experiences? Yes. Theres a reason we tell others to not tell the whole truth for they will lock you up... because they lock us up! Yet i hear people mock us saying "they dont do that" showing their ignorance in and of the system.
It pissed me off watching cuz my experience in this site has always been positive, considering the topic, all the chats ive ever seen are usually supportive and empathetic even when we dont want to hear shit about recovery, we know theres a whole section for that too. Which is great! Because for many their needs for this site can be in passing. It serves so much purpose that outsiders cant seem to understand. Even when we get snappy at eachother for saying "seek help" in various ways. Ive never seen them blocked. Ive had back and forths with a couple people myself in the past.
Its not SS's fault your family offed themselves. Its their choice. And if someone was being shadey af then thats them. But to penalize us for having methods and resources in a world made to cage us shouldn't be a crime if nothing we arent holding them down and telling them too. Could there be people encouraging ctb? As in "just do it!"? Sure, but not that ive seen personally. In my short experiences here its more "i empathize with the desire to ctb" and they havent encouraged or discouraged so much as spoke about their own feels and desires, that kinda comrodery. Again. Maybe im just bias or ignorant but btwn the video and its comments i was beyond frustrated/ pissed.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm ignorant and just havent explored as much as i thought over the years. But still....
Well thanks for sticking for the rant. Im just on a big neg spike this week. Learning why im like this more and more and this sight has helped with some tough times and it just urked me when that propaganda hate video popped into my feed cuz of course god forbid you dont conform to the approved ideas.
Sorry for anything repeated... its been loud in my head this week.
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