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lovelulu

lovelulu

with stars in my eyes, crying as I wheel.
Jan 3, 2026
216
the worst part about doing this is leaving my dogs behind. They have my family of course, but one of my dogs is really attached to me as she was a rescue. I've decided im going to record a video of me talking in a tone that I know my dogs like, then ill send those videos to my parents (scheduled time to send feature) and tell them to play those for my dogs every once and a while. It's probably stupid, but I just need something to make me feel better about leaving my dogs behind.
 
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I

Idkwhattopick

Member
Aug 29, 2024
85
I feel the same about my cats, they're so bonded to me and I feel awful that one day soon I won't come home ever again and they won't understand why. I like the idea of filming a video for them
 
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lovelulu

lovelulu

with stars in my eyes, crying as I wheel.
Jan 3, 2026
216
I feel the same about my cats, they're so bonded to me and I feel awful that one day soon I won't come home ever again and they won't understand why. I like the idea of filming a video for them
I think they'd like it. Im not so sure about cats, but I do know that for dogs hearing their owners voice helps—they do rely on voice tones a lot after all. Probably the same for cats. I also would recommend leaving behind something that has your scent, like your pillowcase or a piece of clothing. It'll be a familiar scent to them, which could overall calm them down.
 
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tonicer

tonicer

Specialist
Nov 13, 2025
342
I think you should delay your suicide for the sake of your dogs. Don't break their hearts. Dogs don't usually live very long and i think it's a sacrifice you should definitely consider. Do it for them.

I continue this shitty meaningless existence for my mother alone. After she is gone i go too. I have no one else.
 
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lovelulu

lovelulu

with stars in my eyes, crying as I wheel.
Jan 3, 2026
216
I think you should delay your suicide for the sake of your dogs. Don't break their hearts. Dogs don't usually live very long and i think it's a sacrifice you should definitely consider. Do it for them.

I continue this shitty meaningless existence for my mother alone. After she is gone i go too. I have no one else.
if I had anymore fight in me, I would. But I just cant.
 
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tonicer

tonicer

Specialist
Nov 13, 2025
342
if I had anymore fight in me, I would. But I just cant.
Damn, i know how that feels. I am basically at my limit too. I just can't harm my mother. I know it would break her heart if i did it while she was still around.

BTW i think since dogs are very smell oriented animals you should send your parents some unwashed clothing like a shirt or something so they can sleep on it. My dog used to do that when my mother was traveling and she didn't take him with her. He slept like a little baby when he could rest his head on her socks. :)
 
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P

pkeylimepie

Member
May 14, 2026
24
I think if it's at all possible and you have someone you trust to do this, to just make sure they're able to see and sniff you one last time after you're gone.

I heard that dogs can understand death to an extent and it will help them understand that you didn't abandon them :(

I think about my dog a lot too and what will happen to her. I know how hard of a decision this is for you.
 
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lovelulu

lovelulu

with stars in my eyes, crying as I wheel.
Jan 3, 2026
216
Damn, i know how that feels. I am basically at my limit too. I just can't harm my mother. I know it would break her heart if i did it while she was still around.

BTW i think since dogs are very smell oriented animals you should send your parents some unwashed clothing like a shirt or something so they can sleep on it. My dog used to do that when my mother was traveling and she didn't take him with her. He slept like a little baby when he could rest his head on her socks. :)
I think youre a really strong person, I honestly look up to you—I wish I could be like you and stay around a little longer.

I was thinking about that too, especially since one of my dogs like I mentioned before is a rescue with really bad anxiety, I think my scent would help.
I think if it's at all possible and you have someone you trust to do this, to just make sure they're able to see and sniff you one last time after you're gone.

I heard that dogs can understand death to an extent and it will help them understand that you didn't abandon them :(

I think about my dog a lot too and what will happen to her. I know how hard of a decision this is for you.
Yeah, luckily I can send the video beforehand to my parents and request them to show it to them.
 
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C

CatLvr

Enlightened
Aug 1, 2024
1,749
I've commented on this subject every time I see it pop up and will continue to do so because I feel like it can be comforting to those of us with pets to know what happens when you leave your pet family behind. I'll not bore you guys anymore with telling why I feel like what I have to share is pertinent -- just click on my screen name and search back through my posts. I'm not trying to hide anything -- just that part isn't as important as what is in the next paragraph or three. Ok ...

Your pets WILL miss you. But you need to understand that our dogs and cats (and some bird species and exotic pets) do not grieve us in the same way WE grieve when we lose them. The best way I know to explain it is our pets live "in the moment". We humans live "in the what-if, -was, -could have been".

Depending on your dogs' personalities and bonds with you, they will likely search for you for a bit of time -- My dogs and cats, both, spent some time looking for my husband last year after he passed unexpectedly. The animals that were not as bonded with him stopped looking after a few days. Some of them would still look for him at certain times -- like breakfast time because he was ALWAYS sharing his bacon with them lol, or the time they expected him to be coming home from work. But generally speaking, those behaviors in the less bonded dogs and cats stopped, for the most part, within a month.

The one cat and one dog who were "his" buddies -- sat in his lap while he watched tv in the evenings, actively sought him out when they wanted attention (needed outside, for example) or wanted to play or get petted -- those 2 had a much longer longer adjustment period. In fact, the dog I had to have euthanized the month after my husband passed -- he was elderly and it was time. This would have happened even if my husband hadn't passed, but I do wonder if he went downhill so quickly because his favorite human was no longer here. And then the cat the month after that -- chronic kidney failure and he had no quality of life left for him here. To say it was a rough 90 days is a gross understatement.

Neither of those pets EVER stopped looking for him. They slept in his recliner every night. They sat at the front door every evening waiting for him to come home. That said I don't ever recall seeing a pet pine away for their human over a long period of time -- like humans will sometimes do. In fact, if my dad had an older client and he knew their pet was going to be passing soon, he would often "find" a kitten or puppy that "needed a good home" and try to enlist their help with getting the suddenly homeless baby a new home. (He was a veterinarian.)

I did have a recording of him leaving me a voicemail on my phone. If I played it, they would perk up and start looking around the room for him. But they appeared to be much more "triggered" scent than by sound.

There have been studies that have shown that both dogs and cats remember, and respond to, "their people" several years after the last time they saw them -- like if a pet got lost and then was found a few years later, or surrendered to a shelter or another family, and then sees the original owner again.

Someone else already mentioned it but if you just cannot stay any longer, please do leave a handful of items that have your scent on them for your dog. And make sure your family knows which item(s) you have left for them and why.

Finally, I am so sorry you feel so awful that you even have to contemplate leaving your dog behind. But just know that as long as they have a loving family around them they will be okay.
 
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lovelulu

lovelulu

with stars in my eyes, crying as I wheel.
Jan 3, 2026
216
I've commented on this subject every time I see it pop up and will continue to do so because I feel like it can be comforting to those of us with pets to know what happens when you leave your pet family behind. I'll not bore you guys anymore with telling why I feel like what I have to share is pertinent -- just click on my screen name and search back through my posts. I'm not trying to hide anything -- just that part isn't as important as what is in the next paragraph or three. Ok ...

Your pets WILL miss you. But you need to understand that our dogs and cats (and some bird species and exotic pets) do not grieve us in the same way WE grieve when we lose them. The best way I know to explain it is our pets live "in the moment". We humans live "in the what-if, -was, -could have been".

Depending on your dogs' personalities and bonds with you, they will likely search for you for a bit of time -- My dogs and cats, both, spent some time looking for my husband last year after he passed unexpectedly. The animals that were not as bonded with him stopped looking after a few days. Some of them would still look for him at certain times -- like breakfast time because he was ALWAYS sharing his bacon with them lol, or the time they expected him to be coming home from work. But generally speaking, those behaviors in the less bonded dogs and cats stopped, for the most part, within a month.

The one cat and one dog who were "his" buddies -- sat in his lap while he watched tv in the evenings, actively sought him out when they wanted attention (needed outside, for example) or wanted to play or get petted -- those 2 had a much longer longer adjustment period. In fact, the dog I had to have euthanized the month after my husband passed -- he was elderly and it was time. This would have happened even if my husband hadn't passed, but I do wonder if he went downhill so quickly because his favorite human was no longer here. And then the cat the month after that -- chronic kidney failure and he had no quality of life left for him here. To say it was a rough 90 days is a gross understatement.

Neither of those pets EVER stopped looking for him. They slept in his recliner every night. They sat at the front door every evening waiting for him to come home. That said I don't ever recall seeing a pet pine away for their human over a long period of time -- like humans will sometimes do. In fact, if my dad had an older client and he knew their pet was going to be passing soon, he would often "find" a kitten or puppy that "needed a good home" and try to enlist their help with getting the suddenly homeless baby a new home. (He was a veterinarian.)

I did have a recording of him leaving me a voicemail on my phone. If I played it, they would perk up and start looking around the room for him. But they appeared to be much more "triggered" scent than by sound.

There have been studies that have shown that both dogs and cats remember, and respond to, "their people" several years after the last time they saw them -- like if a pet got lost and then was found a few years later, or surrendered to a shelter or another family, and then sees the original owner again.

Someone else already mentioned it but if you just cannot stay any longer, please do leave a handful of items that have your scent on them for your dog. And make sure your family knows which item(s) you have left for them and why.

Finally, I am so sorry you feel so awful that you even have to contemplate leaving your dog behind. But just know that as long as they have a loving family around them they will be okay.
Thank you, that makes me feel a lot better about this. My boy dog isn't as close to me as my girl dog, but close enough. It makes me feel better knowing my family will be there to take care of them. My room is used as a guest bedroom, so they'll most likely keep my bed—so the dogs will have that with my scent on it.

Im sorry about all your loses, youre a really strong person.
 
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C

CatLvr

Enlightened
Aug 1, 2024
1,749
T
Thank you, that makes me feel a lot better about this. My boy dog isn't as close to me as my girl dog, but close enough. It makes me feel better knowing my family will be there to take care of them. My room is used as a guest bedroom, so they'll most likely keep my bed—so the dogs will have that with my scent on it.

Im sorry about all your loses, youre a really strong person.
Thank you. I wish I was a strong person. But, alas, I am just old. 😉 And I have had pets for as long as I can remember. 🖤🖤🖤
 
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tonicer

tonicer

Specialist
Nov 13, 2025
342
I think youre a really strong person, I honestly look up to you—I wish I could be like you and stay around a little longer.

I was thinking about that too, especially since one of my dogs like I mentioned before is a rescue with really bad anxiety, I think my scent would help.
Thank you but i am not really that strong.

I know your scent will help them.
 

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