what helps you accept that your life sucked?

[schatzbunny]

i don't think anyone whose life is great is on here being suicidal so yea how do you guys accept that this was your life and this was it. do any of you seek vengeance? justice? revenge? in your death.
i wanna kms to end my emotional pain but god it does get to me that my life will end being so pathetic and full of misery.

 

[gunmetalblue]

I went through a lot of anger for years personally. I think it's boiled now to just numb acceptance now. You really cannot change what has happened to you, your past, what you might have done right or wrong, the actions you chose because you were hurt or because you were trying to heal.
Boiling down very simply on what Albert Camus talked about in L'Étranger. Either you look forward and accept things as they are, the world and move on in some way, or you kill yourself. Very blunt but true for me personally. It just is what it is.

 

[Unlucky777]

What helps me accept that life currently sucks is that it was once pretty ok. It was once ok and it can be OK again.

 

[Forever Sleep]

When I was younger, I mostly just felt sorry for myself and latched on to other tragic stories. I also became obsessed with art as a coping mechanism. That was maybe my lucky aspect in life that I chose to focus on that rather than something more (self) destructive. Although, it hasn't exactly been the most reliable coping mechanism.

Now I'm older, I carry a lot more resentment towards the people who made the decisions that landed me in this mess. So- anti-natilist views have become prevalent. Plus, I suppose disappointment at decisions that (probably) knowingly put me in harms way as a child.

I'm not sure I'm all together angry about them but, what I don't tend to tolerate is parents then crticicizing me. Because they had a large hand in making me like this! You don't (in my view) have the right to build something badly and then complain it doesn't work!

It's not simple though. I can't truly hate my parents for birthing me here because I think their intentions were largely good. I also think it was more naivity rather than malice that exposed me to harm. I think it was also selfishness, plus selfishness that knowingly left me in harms way. So- that I suppose to my mind justifies my own selfish acts in life. I'm not a hugely caring, attentive daughter. It isn't enough to justify me inflicting my suicide on them though. My plan is to hopefully wait till my Dad goes first.

So- my head is a whole mixture of anger, resentment but also restraint and compassion. I try to temper what I feel with what I think is fair.

I'm not really unhappy with most of my decisions in life though. I did what I could with what I had. I'm at peace for it to end imminently though.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

It's very hard. Suicide gets you thinking about the (non)existence of an afterlife and you realize that your life is really all there is from your point of view. A universe seen through the eyes of a weak, frustrated person. And no relief, no happily ever after, just an end. It makes you want to make things better...but it's too late. I want the one impossible thing, to go back in time and live properly.

 

[Jisatsu]

Years of anger, then years of regret, years of trying and then years of grief.

Now I'm alone and everyone I loved is either dead or have moved on...

 

[Gangrel]

the feeling starts to be numb after some time..."oh another shitty thing great"

 

[Terrible_Life]

i don't think anyone whose life is great is on here being suicidal so yea how do you guys accept that this was your life and this was it. do any of you seek vengeance? justice? revenge? in your death.
i wanna kms to end my emotional pain but god it does get to me that my life will end being so pathetic and full of misery.

I am honest with you I struggle a lot to accept that this tragedy was my life. I also sometimes think if there is no after life at least where we can be happy then i was really completely fooled

 

[FuneralCry]

There's nothing for me to accept, I'd just never wish for something as dreadful, cruel and torturous as existence, for me existence is an abomination and all I want is to erase this existence so it's like I never suffered at all, for me existence itself is the true problem and all I want is to be permanently unconscious of it with all gone and forgotten where I'm finally at peace from all suffering.

I'll always see existing as just being only suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, to me existence just always feels like a mistake and the only relief for me could lie in non-existence, I find it so deeply undesirable to exist in every way, I see nothing desirable about existing.

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

I didn't care that mine sucked, I care that no one else's needs to suck, unfortunately as you can see from this website, that's not the case. So I can never come to terms with how unfair life is, the fact that this level of unfairness and shitiness happens to so many people in so many different ways, makes me suicidal, I can tank my own traumas, I can move with them, realizing so many people have this and nobody cares? nah.

I'd want to seek justice for us or revenge for my own life but revenge and justice that is not understood, is pointless, if they don't get why I'm doing it, it's a bigger fail, I'm just seen as a monster and in the end I'm making other suicidal people seem like monsters, but I can't say that I don't have the anger, I just internalize it.

 

[houseofleaves]

I think that my death would indirectly change the world for the better, as I would at least stop wasting natural resources and polluting the planet. My life sucked, but at least I can try to stop this and not bring any more suffering to this world.