What has lead you to contemplate suicide?

[Cyan.ridinghood]

Hello everyone. I'm quiet fresh to this website, so I apologise if I'm doing this wrong. Why is the thought of suicide on your mind? What has lead you to this course of action? Feel free to share your story.

 

[depressed&numbed]

alot of things my parents are awful and my situation is inescapable and before you go oh its gets better trust me it hast i told my parents i had treid which i had auctualy did try and they got scared and then forgot 1 week later and nothing has improved 6 months later so im outta ideas here

 

[landmine]

i just cannot handle this anymore. i cant handle these memories, my heart that's so empty and longing for something, etc. if i ever get too scared of suicide, i would just get kidnapped by some stupid guy and maybe he can love me.

 

[suicidalloser]

I simply do not like living. There's nothing enjoyable about it. every waking moment of 24 hours is pure bleak and torture.

 

[MrDarkness]

I can't handle my memories, I'm constantly haunted by my passed, no one in my entire life has shown me love or told me they love me, I've given up on love entirely, it isn't real and if it is real, it's a lie that only brings pain, I'd kill myself to preserve what little honour I have left, or just get the memories to stop

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

Medical gatekeeping. I've been waiting to go on T for an eternity. My psychiatrist always wants me to do another test and another and another before he writes me the indication letter. Every time he does so he promises me to write it after the test is finished. This let me to believe that I'll never get help for my dysphoria and so I relapsed into suicidal thoughts. My life is not worth living in this body.

 

[FuneralCry]

Because I find existence to be dreadful and unappealing, non-existence comforts me and I see it as being the only relief in this hellish reality. Existence disgusts me because of the fact that it's caused endless suffering to be experienced, I think suicide is the best way to die and I see it as being self care as it would be taking control over the inevitable, preventing the process of slowly dying where we are destined for nowhere but to decay and suffer in the process.

Non-existence is the only thing that is desirable to me, I see existence in itself as being the true problem, I've only ever wished for true peace and freedom from everything which can only be found through ceasing to exist.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

To me suicide was always and will always be a legal option under certain circumstances that was never a question, however my life was good enough so that I didn't have to think about it for most of my life time only in the past few years and It's probably inevtibale now. So be it.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Mentally and sexually abused by evil parents.
Clinically depressed since age 6.
Also bipolar type 1.
Bullied all through school.
Homeless.
Serious existential crisis.

I'm already dead inside.
I just need to kill this body.

 

[ANTALWOODA]

I would say that abuse from family is my main issue, being discarded by my parents and felt like object and puppet most of my life, and near death trauma i got when i was almost 3 years old that contributed lot to my mental health

Mentally and sexually abused by evil parents.
Clinically depressed since age 6.
Also bipolar type 1.
Bullied all through school.
Homeless.
Serious existential crisis.

I'm already dead inside.
I just need to kill this body.

I'm sorry you went through all that, your parents didn't deserve you, no one in life deserves such let alone by parents who are supposed to be people that love and care about children

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

I'm a fucking loser. I'm depressed, bored, frustrated. I have to deal with a lot of anger. I don't enjoy anything. I'm lonely. I have very little security.

When I was 6 I had my first thought about not wanting to exist. I was bored, lonely, frustrated, unfulfilled. That much hasn't changed much through the years.

When I was 19 I first tried to kill myself. I'd just failed uni, was lonely, isolated. I had nothing to live for. I'm now 41. I've failed an additional 3 university courses in that time. I've only worked for a year in my entire adult life. I'm a loser. I depend on benefits. I get a paltry £15 a day to live on. Saving up for anything significant is very hard. It doesn't help that the govt only allows me to save £5k before they cut off my money. If I want to save more I have to hide the money- give it to a relative to look after, or buy gold or crypto.

I don't get enjoyment out of anything. Every day is an exercise in wasting time. I'm not good for anything. I'm fucking useless at making money. I've tried many things but I fail miserably. I usually end up just losing money instead of making it. I'm so fucking fed up of existing. Fucking fed up of feeling frustrated. Fed up of being useless. It's fucking unbearable.

Please someone shoot me. If I'd had a gun I wouldt be alive anymore. But we're only given the most atrocious methods for dying. Fuck society. Fuck this cruel existence. I wasn't meant for this world. I so desperately want to die

 

[locked*n*loaded]

A poorly mismanaged life.

 

[Fe(IV)]

Even if in passing, the realization that my life as I know it is over. Debt. Can't work. Depression doesn't cure. Moving back into parents' shithole of an apartment. The fact that I'm just broken.

I kinda wanted to test the BDO a bit. Maybe 10mls is just a sleepy dose and I really need a few ounces. Maybe the normie web is right and 10 mls is enough. Who knows. Shame I didn't have it immediately on hand.

 

[Darkover]

mainly many health problems impacting my life
decayed teeth
my left shoulder dislocates 10 times goes weak and limp
damaged stomach lining from a paracetamol overdose
tinnitus in both ears
and to top it off a brain injury
i am bed bound without antipsychotic
i have schizophrenia

 

[ANTALWOODA]

I'm a fucking loser. I'm depressed, bored, frustrated. I have to deal with a lot of anger. I don't enjoy anything. I'm lonely. I have very little security.

When I was 6 I had my first thought about not wanting to exist. I was bored, lonely, frustrated, unfulfilled. That much hasn't changed much through the years.

When I was 19 I first tried to kill myself. I'd just failed uni, was lonely, isolated. I had nothing to live for. I'm now 41. I've failed an additional 3 university courses in that time. I've only worked for a year in my entire adult life. I'm a loser. I depend on benefits. I get a paltry £15 a day to live on. Saving up for anything significant is very hard. It doesn't help that the govt only allows me to save £5k before they cut off my money. If I want to save more I have to hide the money- give it to a relative to look after, or buy gold or crypto.

I don't get enjoyment out of anything. Every day is an exercise in wasting time. I'm not good for anything. I'm fucking useless at making money. I've tried many things but I fail miserably. I usually end up just losing money instead of making it. I'm so fucking fed up of existing. Fucking fed up of feeling frustrated. Fed up of being useless. It's fucking unbearable.

Please someone shoot me. If I'd had a gun I wouldt be alive anymore. But we're only given the most atrocious methods for dying. Fuck society. Fuck this cruel existence. I wasn't meant for this world. I so desperately want to die

I can't imagine myself reaching age you are, I'm 27 and already so ready to go if i wasn't pussy so afraid of things going erong, i was never good at making money as well, i worked many years but that's all gone, saving monis extremely hard, especially in this society where fucking bread can cost 5$ fucking dollars? Fuck this

 

[dory]

I just cant handle feeling guilty for all the things ive done before, and ive already tried a million types of treatment, health care is all bs so why should i keep trying? Im not doing it for myself and the people around me dont deserve my effort