what did u guys feel when u joined a suicide forum?

[NoLoveNoHope]

At peace and understood, this life was never meant for me.

 

[unnormal9]

For me, it was to find a peaceful, reliable method.

 

[epic]

My hands were shaking . Now logging in is like brushing my teeth lol.

 

[szk]

Safe. I felt a sense of safety that I've never felt anywhere else.

 

[lostintheloop]

Excited because now I have some much better ideas of methods than I used for previous attempts. Also shocked at how much is allowed here since most places ban this sort of discussion. Sad and comforted by how many people are also suffering. Part of me also felt kind of guilty at first cause I was worried that I'd be part of encouraging others. But once I started reading through the threads I felt better as I realised most people just want others to have the correct info to make their own informed decision, encouraging choice not suicide.

 

[blazysuzan]

i côme here whenever i feel like im falling back into a position of being a danger to myself, i feel nothing when im on here. i think it's a good place to scroll thru to help comfort myself into doing it one of these days

 

[leloyon]

"Finally, a place where I can be a little more open."
I already knew, and long accepted, what I am going to do.

 

[Deleted member 31858]

A lot of peace in quickly finding the right method for me from day one. The next day I began to feel even more calm and secure seeing that this is a community where we can feel safe to talk about what happens to us and how we feel. I have found a lot of empathy, words of encouragement, good advice without falling into positivity toxic from the outside world. Without a doubt this website is the best thing that has happened to me, I hope it never disappears because unlike suicide prevention campaigns this site has saved more lives ♡ This is definitely a safe place.

 

[SoftWorries]

Relief. So much relief. For years I could only talk about my issues without ever telling anyone that they were so painful that it makes me want to die.

It's great to for once be able to speak without censoring myself.

 

[KarmicRain]

needed a place to vent and someone to talk to. strangers on discord and amino didn't really cut it anymore but at least this helps a little.
as for what I felt; nothing really. suicide's been in my mind so long that it's as normal as breathing. sometimes it's just irritating but other times, it's all I really have left to cope with. I despise reality with a passion but this forum works as a way to talk with others that feel the same.

 

[another horizon]

I just wish I had joined earlier when it was easier to acquire SN.

 

[BroodingBleu]

hey,
a simple question really. i am crying. like, i feel like i am giong deeper and realer into this whole suicide thing and there might be no way back.

Happiest I felt in months. Finding likeminded people that weren't going to berate and critique me for being who I am.

 

[hellispink]

I was at my lowest. I was the worst i could be. I haven't feel nothing but inmense pain since those days.

 

[whatevs]

Excitement. I was very excited and addicted.

 

[Fraggle77]

Relief that there are people out there who share my mindset. Not actively encouraging or discouraging but who understand how I feel. I don't feel dirty or guilty for these emotions any more and for that I'm thankful.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

hey,
a simple question really. i am crying. like, i feel like i am giong deeper and realer into this whole suicide thing and there might be no way back.

If it makes you feel like that, you maybe should not be here.

 

[Fraggle77]

Happiest I felt in months. Finding likeminded people that weren't going to berate and critique me for being who I am.

Yes I feel the same. People who understand and won't criticise me for feeling the way I do. No more "but you have so much to live for" from those who don't understand. I feel like after years in a wilderness, I have found my people

 

[FuneralCry]

I remember that it made me feel worse learning about how difficult suicide really is despite the fact that there is method information on this site. Sadly I'm still trapped here years later.

 

[sheepgirl]

I felt excited to find a way out. But now I deeply regret it and wish I never found it

 

[holohound]

Like I've failed somehow. This just confirms how much I'm a hypocrite I am- I've always comforted my friends in their emotional distress, saying placidly positive bubblegum words in hopes their pain is eased. Ever though I don't believe a word of it for myself.

 

[DrPhilm&m]

A sense of power, and even moreso, a sense of knowing. Before joining a suicide forum it had always been 'I wish I could die,' or, 'Things would be so much better if I could just kill myself.' However, I never really thought I would CTB. It was always a want. The first time I joined a suicide forum was the first time I knew that I was going to kill myself.

 

[Ambivalent1]

SS is a near death experience

 

[PlanB]

A mixture of numbness, fear, wishing I could stop time. Wanting to understand myself by learning from others.