Discussion What caused your last attempt to fail?

[allym101]

Something that I've noticed is that it's surprisingly pretty hard to kill yourself and I just wanna hear what caused everybody's last attempt to fail. For be personally, it was a benadryl OD and I took around 120, however I guess it wasn't enough and instead of having a heart attack I was basically just trippin all day.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

People, just damn to hell people!!

 

[SHThrowAway213]

Couldn't make myself pass out a few months ago.
Was going to try to jump a couple days ago, but my husband got suspicious

 

[Aftex]

Guessing not enough? Took 30g of paracetamol, lethal dose I'd meant to be 12g and up but after a few days of pain it just went away.

 

[mathieu]

I was intending to take SN with a bunch of xanax and antiemetics. I ended up taking the xanax and getting really fucked up I smashed holes in my walls, flooded the apartment and passed out naked in the street. Someone found me and called an ambulance. I don't remember anything. The SN was untouched. I took most of a bottle of Xanax.

 

[Kumachan]

I was intending to take SN with a bunch of xanax and antiemetics. I ended up taking the xanax and getting really fucked up I smashed holes in my walls, flooded the apartment and passed out naked in the street. Someone found me and called an ambulance. I don't remember anything. The SN was untouched. I took most of a bottle of Xanax.

Sounds like one hell of a drug! I gotta try that! Were you conscious doing all that smashing-flooding-naked stuff?

 

[madbananas]

My last attempt was seriously impulsive and I was really distressed, must have been making more noise than I thought. My mum walked in on me in the middle of my attempt.

 

[Krash1990]

Reading through this forum actually.
Part of me wishes I hadn't. The other part is glad I found it. Luckily(I guess) someone on the suicide watch reddit page commented about this page and I saw it moments before it was removed.

 

[AwokenToReality]

Previous attempt was my first. An impulsive decision with 0 research into any methods, in a moment of distress. Had just gotten into an argument with my mum, and then decided to take a mixture of medicines (around 50x Paracetamol & 20x Ibuprofen) to attempt an overdose. I just ended up throwing back up half of the tablets, and was taken to the hospital after my mum and uncle were made aware.

Since that first attempt which took place early April, I've realized more and more how much I want an end to things, and I should hopefully be going through with my next attempt to leave this horrible world in 2-3 weeks. Since that failure and knowing nothing on suicide, I've done a lot of actual research via the majority of threads and resources on this forum as well as the PPH, and will be choosing the SN method. Have ordered the SN and Antiemetic's, so just waiting on those to arrive, then I'll purchase some antacid and hopefully will leave this world.

 

[mittensxx]

Just like @AwokenWaves It was my first attempt and it just came out of nowhere without any research.
I tried to OD on 200-300 painkillers and it didn't work (clearly). Just ended up throwing up all night and feeling sick for the next 2 days (thank god nobody found me). Since then I've done a lot of research and found methods that will work better for me. So grateful to SS for everything

 

[AwokenToReality]

Just like @AwokenWaves It was my first attempt and it just came out of nowhere without any research.
I tried to OD on 200-300 painkillers and it didn't work (clearly). Just ended up throwing up all night and feeling sick for the next 2 days (thank god nobody found me). Since then I've done a lot of research and found methods that will work better for me. So grateful to SS for everything

SS has been a real great help for sure. I replied to your PM also, but it only seems to be showing on my phone and not on desktop, so not sure if it actually sent or not.

 

[InterstateFlowers]

In one of my attempts, I tried cutting my wrists to slice my ulnar artery and bleed out. I failed because it was too painful and the huge cuts of skin were pretty gruesome. If I just nicked that artery though, I probably would have died in like 30 minutes.

 

[SpottedPanda]

Just before lockdown started, I tried the Night Night method with a belt, but didn't start to pass out. Planning to try again with more pressure and persistence when lockdown is over

 

[PartingGlass]

Just couldn't pull that trigger. No matter what. I can load the chamber, take the safety off, put it to the roof of my mouth, but I just can't pull the trigger.

 

[Pryras]

Attempt 1/

Drove my car over a ledge of an abandoned highway and it wasn't deep enough to kill me. I was surrounded by water and trees but someone managed to see my tire tracks and get help.



Attempt 2/

Tried to OD on OTC medicine which was the the first fail and then foolishly pairing that with alcohol was my second fail. On top of that, some ranger found me in the middle of a deserted road in the middle of the night and brought me to safety.

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

I stopped myself and didn't take a lethal dose. I don't even know why I stopped.

 

[Soul]

I was naive and didn't take enough.

 

[holly1222]

I was cutting my neck and it just got too painful. I keep trying again just to practice and hoping that I can keep going and go through with it but it really hurts.

 

[HappyMstake]

I was like 14 and didn't plan anything through, I was stupid. I took 150 Tylenol pm, a bottle of NyQuil and a few swings of Lysol. I suppose I threw most of it up or just didn't take enough...

 

[muffin222]

I got way too wasted in preparation for my attempt and ended up passing out on the couch

 

[Deleted member 17331]

My last attempt was very impulsive and unthinkable. A lot of unpleasant things had happened that day, and I was shaken, which made me have a psychotic break.

* It was a very distressing day for me. It may not be a pleasant read for anyone reading. So, consider your feelings before reading.

Spoiler

I sat on the bathroom floor and picked up the three cocaine pins I had kept, sniffed and injected. I also remember taking a can of beer and mixing it with cocaine, I drank and also injected everything together.

So, I started to vomit and I felt a lot of pain in my chest, I couldn't breathe anymore and I started screaming in pain. Then I woke up, and remembered that my family was at home, I couldn't believe the thoughtless act that I had done, and so I called the ambulance.

I was lucky to have only mild sequelae, such as kidney and heart problems.

That day was one of the worst in my life, I had never felt so much pain in my life.

**********

Reminder: I hadn't done any research at the time, I only heard once that mixing cocaine and alcohol could result in death. I did not consider researching the risks, such as pain, percentage of failure, safety and other significant information. It was a totally impulsive act. Please do not take this report as an example.

It all happened before I met SS, so I didn't know the existence of peaceful methods, I only knew despair. In fact, SS was a light in my path.

 

[Luchs]

Something that I've noticed is that it's surprisingly pretty hard to kill yourself and I just wanna hear what caused everybody's last attempt to fail. For be personally, it was a benadryl OD and I took around 120, however I guess it wasn't enough and instead of having a heart attack I was basically just trippin all day.

No train came in time.

 

[beyond_aquila_rift]

Couldn't get enough pressure for partial even though I tried numerous times. Kept chickening out for full suspension since I can't do it at home and I feel guilty for people finding me/paranoid about someone finding me and saving me. Couldn't get NN to work because not enough pressure. ;(

 

[allym101]

My last attempt was very impulsive and unthinkable. A lot of unpleasant things had happened that day, and I was shaken, which made me have a psychotic break.

* It was a very distressing day for me. It may not be a pleasant read for anyone reading. So, consider your feelings before reading.

Spoiler

I sat on the bathroom floor and picked up the three cocaine pins I had kept, sniffed and injected. I also remember taking a can of beer and mixing it with cocaine, I drank and also injected everything together.

So, I started to vomit and I felt a lot of pain in my chest, I couldn't breathe anymore and I started screaming in pain. Then I woke up, and remembered that my family was at home, I couldn't believe the thoughtless act that I had done, and so I called the ambulance.

I was lucky to have only mild sequelae, such as kidney and heart problems.

That day was one of the worst in my life, I had never felt so much pain in my life.

**********

Reminder: I hadn't done any research at the time, I only heard once that mixing cocaine and alcohol could result in death. I did not consider researching the risks, such as pain, percentage of failure, safety and other significant information. It was a totally impulsive act. Please do not take this report as an example.

It all happened before I met SS, so I didn't know the existence of peaceful methods, I only knew despair. In fact, SS was a light in my path.

Wow that sounds terrible I'm so sorry you had to experience something like that. I too understand where your coming from.

 

[mathieu]

Sounds like one hell of a drug! I gotta try that! Were you conscious doing all that smashing-flooding-naked stuff?

I don't know, I guess so

 

[Thatdude]

Poor planning and ignorance. I couldn't get the night night to work, and it's too much of a pain to figure out how to do it right.
Before then I tried to snap my neck by having my head between 2 poles and having it turn real fast. Turns out the aluminum was too soft.
I tried taking posions like weed and bug killer. It just messed up my throat for a bit. Idk why that didn't work, but idk if it should've worked. I was just assuming. I tried to shoot a flair off in my mouth, but it wouldn't ever go off. I figure it was a bad one. I tried blowing up gas cans next to my head, but I only was able get the mouth on fire. Idk know lack of oxygen would stop the fire from going in and causing it to blow up.

I can go on, but lack of planning and ignorance. That or someone/something is fucking with me

 

[Weightoftheworld]

Something that I've noticed is that it's surprisingly pretty hard to kill yourself and I just wanna hear what caused everybody's last attempt to fail. For be personally, it was a benadryl OD and I took around 120, however I guess it wasn't enough and instead of having a heart attack I was basically just trippin all day.

Tried this way also. At least it was a good trip. Except I threw up most of the meds in my sleep, what a mess.
My last attempt was a partial though and it was impulsive and I wasn't using a correct ligature.

 

[allym101]

Poor planning and ignorance. I couldn't get the night night to work, and it's too much of a pain to figure out how to do it right.
Before then I tried to snap my neck by having my head between 2 poles and having it turn real fast. Turns out the aluminum was too soft.
I tried taking posions like weed and bug killer. It just messed up my throat for a bit. Idk why that didn't work, but idk if it should've worked. I was just assuming. I tried to shoot a flair off in my mouth, but it wouldn't ever go off. I figure it was a bad one. I tried blowing up gas cans next to my head, but I only was able get the mouth on fire. Idk know lack of oxygen would stop the fire from going in and causing it to blow up.

I can go on, but lack of planning and ignorance. That or someone/something is fucking with me

Wow. Either you're incredibly lucky or unlucky, whichever way you look at it. I get that though, the common theme i've noticed between all my failed attempts was that I put little to no planning or research into it. I'd search one source and then be done. God.. I'm hoping my final method does the job.

Tried this way also. At least it was a good trip. Except I threw up most of the meds in my sleep, what a mess.
My last attempt was a partial though and it was impulsive and I wasn't using a correct ligature.

A good trip!? Not for me bahah, it was terrifying. Shadow people were chasing me around my house, I saw dead animals, and I hallucinated my family sitting on the couch while having on going conversations with all of them. And I remember waking up from my daze and seeing red vomit EVERYWHERE. At first I thought it was blood and I panicked thinking I might've accidentally hurt someone. See, I was thinking about doing partial but with the way my anatomy is, I'm not sure if i'd work since the veins in my neck are VERY deep. Ah.. life just needs to give me a break man. If my current attempt works, I'll finally be able to say I died in peace knowing that something worked.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I don't know if this counts because it was a semi-attempt...

It was in the afternoon of the day that I was going to end it. I was carrying a rucksack with a few belts in it - I was planning to hang myself with them. I got off the bus in town and then walked for a long time until I reached a forest-y area. I picked a tree that I thought would be good for suspending myself from. Before I was going to do it I took some time to sit down, and think about how I would actually start the process, but I got caught up in my own thoughts like why I wanted to die. I was slouched against the tree for about 2-3 hours until it was dark. That's when I thought: "Maybe I should give life another chance." This in turn brought up feelings of doubt to whether hanging would succeed, because to be honest I didn't do too much research. Eventually I got up and went home.

I failed because of a last minute desire to give things another shot. Another reason was ignorance in not planning it out properly.

Looking back I have mixed feelings. On 1 hand I honestly regret not going through with it; given how things have turned out, and in fact I still want to CTB. On the other hand I'm kind of glad I didn't succeed just because my lack of knowledge and planning with hanging would probably have resulted in it not working, but that's the only reason why I'm happy I didn't try that specific time.

 

[ARW3N]

It should be actually easy to kill yourself but most of the quick suicide methods have been successively removed by suicide prevention initiatives. Hanging, jumping and overdosing just gives you too much time to freak out from killing yourself. I overdosed on paracetamol which was a serious attempt. Unfortunately, I just got real nauseous and threw up with no grave consequences.