Discussion What brings you pleasure in your last days?

[da5ae5ae]

I have decided on the day and purchased the rope and figured out how to tie all the knots and where to do it etc. I have a few things to wrap up, admin wise.

All there is to do now is distract and try to experience pleasure. For me it has always been food. So I will be, and have been, eating all the snack foods that I only ever eat on occasion. It's been chippies, whittakers choccy, these yummy apricot and dark chocolate oat bars, and I just ordered McDonald's (it's not even that yum, it's maybe a bit more nostalgic). I might buy some salmon next week.

I have been tag teaming stardew valley with outlander (nearly finished :( so will probably move to latest RPDR all stars).

How do you try to feel good/at ease in your last days?

 

[DarkFriend.]

I'm not really sure. Just because I've never really had a set day yet . . . ( my close call was impulsive).

I've fantasized about what you have right now. Perhaps some peace?

Just the feeling of knowing it'll all be over and that really, nothing matters at all. Not a single thing.

I imagine that it must be so freeing. Basically I pretend that I have a set day, in order to try and . . . mimic the feeling I suppose.

Of course it fades, but I imagine that when you have your set day, life somehow becomes so much more enjoyable. Like a little vacation that you know you'll never overstay.

Seems nice. Perhaps it is time to plan mine soon.

By the way, those chocolate oat bars sound nice.

 

[da5ae5ae]

It is freeing. The closer it gets the more terrified I will feel and the less at ease I will feel. So maybe your message will be a great reminder to me to notice that, and to stay in the moment / be engrossed by whatever I'm distracting myself with / or try to remember how soon all the suffering will be over so that is something to be grateful for. Thank you, friend.

 

[dirkw83]

I'm the same as you with food, I love it... that's almost all my motivation to keep living lol. Also sleep, and the first coffee in the morning. But yes when I think about it there isn't much else to life.

 

[da5ae5ae]

I had to part with my child (fur variety) some time ago when I moved back to NZ. Not being with her certainly makes it easier. I can afford food that I want so for that I am grateful. Enjoy your food, sleep, and coffee :)

I'm the same as you with food, I love it... that's almost all my motivation to keep living lol. Also sleep, and the first coffee in the morning. But yes when I think about it there isn't much else to life

 

[burninghill]

My bed. When I think about dying the only thing I really think I'll miss is laying down in my bed. When I last tried to kill myself it was in winter and I backed out, all I could do was cry about how badly I wanted to be wrapped up in my heated blanket.
My room is almost a sacred place for me, nobody is allowed in there (not even my boyfriend lmao) so it's definitely something that brings me a lot of comfort.

 

[SASU-KE]

The problem is not much brings me pleasure anymore. I do enjoy my tea and coffee every day though. Those sound like some good snacks, OP.

 

[da5ae5ae]

My bed. When I think about dying the only thing I really think I'll miss is laying down in my bed. When I last tried to kill myself it was in winter and I backed out, all I could do was cry about how badly I wanted to be wrapped up in my heated blanket.
My room is almost a sacred place for me, nobody is allowed in there (not even my boyfriend lmao) so it's definitely something that brings me a lot of comfort.

I'm picturing 'you' all bundled up, cozy and safe. I also love the bed. I'm obsessed with showering at night as I know getting in bed feels so much nicer . Wishing you all the coziness, friend.
Honestly - how good are tasty beverages?! Tasty beverages are right up there alongside all the snacks.

The problem is not much brings me pleasure anymore. I do enjoy my tea and coffee every day though. Those sound like some good snacks, OP.

 

[LovesickLoser]

My days aren't exactly officially numbered yet, but sometimes videogames. There used to be a variety of things I "enjoyed" as copes before things got really bad. I can't say I find much enjoyment in anything these days, but there's the rare day I can sit down and still actually enjoy a videogame. Lately the only game that's still had such a positive effect on me is Elin though. It's a comfort game for me, and I even gave the dev a few hundred dollars through Kickstarter for rewards and such back when he was running his campaign. It's a very special game.