What are Your Strongest Feelings about WHY You want to Leave this Life?

[martha]

Reason I want to end it is because of my mental illness and the fact that I feel incompetent. There's so many things I don't know how to do that I should've known by now. Oh and also that I have a hard time articulating myself verbally which I suspect it being a possible learning disability

may I ask about your sort of mental illness? I am bipolar

 

[Squiddy]

may I ask about your sort of mental illness? I am bipolar

Bipolar, BPD and anxiety.

 

[Inferdan]

I

I have been abused, it caused me to have PTSD. I wasnt really socialised either so im "awkward" around people, i never know what to say and what to talk about even. My head is just a blank space, sometimes i dont even think about anything or feel anything. Im just there. And then i feel everything at once. I kinda stopped talking recently because there is nothing left to be said.
i have hcm (a heart condition) and a recently diagnosed hematological disease. Im not bed bound in any way and im not looking into ctb to end my physical suffering but it sure contributes to it.
Its my first year of uni and i have never felt so incompetent. Professors are rude, they look down on us, the place itself is very cold.
The coldness always gets me.

The pain of living. Past trauma mixed with my current issues and my natural self does not create a good result. I wish I could go numb instead of waiting for a final decision that I have to watch unfold itself.

Edit: Just realised I've already responded to this thread. Sorry for not checking before.