What are your main feelings that urge you daily to ctb?

[SerenitySeeker]

Emotional and physical tiredness, Numbness mixed in with sadness, grief, and anger, the knowledge that ctbing is my only escape at this point. I use to pretend and push away things to be able to continue and move forward to hopefully something better. That no longer being an option and better never coming pretty much sealed the deal.

 

[Spooks]

The way I have described it before is that I am in a boxing match, but there is no ref.
I am so exhausted that I can't put my hands up to defend my head anymore. So all the blows are landing small and big, but my face and head are so damaged now they barely even register when the get hit it is like my body has gone in to shut down mode, to protect me but ultimately the damage is still being done.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Paranoia, self hate, anxiety, dark deep depression, insecurities, and just a over whelming feeling of been lost

 

[BrokenHopes]

Hopelesness, loneliness, tired very tired, anxiety, emptiness, dont know who I am, confused, shame that seems to be integrated in my body, guilt, failure, no skills, social anxiety, strange in my head.

 

[Nem]

Plain and simple hell from sun up till sun down and in between. Low motivation, three hours of sleep per night if I'm lucky, no interest in anything

peace/hugs