What are your dreams?

[venin]

If we were not living in hell, how would your life look? What are your dreams? Your hopes? Your aspirations?

 

[Borderline]

My only dream is to finally die.

 

[venin]

My only dream is to finally die.

That's a great one

What's keeping you from achieving it?

 

[アホペンギン]

All of my dreams usually concern me harming myself or killing myself. At this point it should be a sign to my body to just die already, this has been going on for years.

 

[Borderline]

That's a great one

What's keeping you from achieving it?

Nothing.

 

[venin]

All of my dreams usually concern me harming myself or killing myself. At this point it should be a sign to my body to just die already, this has been going on for years.

I asked myself a lot of times how come I don't fucking die already? I mean how is it even possible to feel that much pain and sorrow and so on and still be alive?

 

[Fe(IV)]

The black heron in my signature is my aspiration in life.

To be a migratory bird, that can still plant itself in its roots.

I am unique in that I have dual citizenship. I currently live in Brazil but I could go to the US any moment I wanted, technically.
I'm staying here firstly for a college degree. If I'm going to take a bajillion years to graduate might as well do so without accruing any student debt. I go to one of the best universities in the country all for free.
But leaving everything behind here is also a daunting idea. Throwing everything behind and the relationships I built here to go to a new country where I know noone.
Yeah I do speak English quite fluently but people are different abroad. I fear of being judged because of my color (in Brazil I am white, in the US will I be seen as another immigrant Mexican?) and also Americans seem to be much colder in personal relationships. Or at least, the whole paradigm (which I can barely even grasp here) will be completely different.

So I aspire to finally get my shit back together, and get a job that allows me to live in both places at once. Work remotely and spend my summers in the US and winters in Brazil (where it would be summer here, south hemisphere and all). So I can keep close contact with the people I know and have a place to fallback on for familiarity.

I might rent forever, it's not conventional, but it is my dream.

 

[venin]

The black heron in my signature is my aspiration in life.

To be a migratory bird, that can still plant itself in its roots.

I am unique in that I have dual citizenship. I currently live in Brazil but I could go to the US any moment I wanted, technically.
I'm staying here firstly for a college degree. If I'm going to take a bajillion years to graduate might as well do so without accruing any student debt. I go to one of the best universities in the country all for free.
But leaving everything behind here is also a daunting idea. Throwing everything behind and the relationships I built here to go to a new country where I know noone.
Yeah I do speak English quite fluently but people are different abroad. I fear of being judged because of my color (in Brazil I am white, in the US will I be seen as another immigrant Mexican?) and also Americans seem to be much colder in personal relationships. Or at least, the whole paradigm (which I can barely even grasp here) will be completely different.

So I aspire to finally get my shit back together, and get a job that allows me to live in both places at once. Work remotely and spend my summers in the US and winters in Brazil (where it would be summer here, south hemisphere and all). So I can keep close contact with the people I know and have a place to fallback on for familiarity.

I might rent forever, it's not conventional, but it is my dream.

Sounds like a plan

Good luck!

 

[Professor K]

Knowing how it is like to have the girl of my dreams as a spouse and knowing what it's like to be truly loved by someone.
Other than that, being a ghost with no body or emotions, just a floating energy that explores the entire universe freely and eternally.

 

[TorturedSoul999]

I actually made it quite far in life. But… in the end my only dream was to share my life with someone. I was the one who threw that dream away due to mental instability. So… I could say that I had my dream and I threw it away. Everything else feels as if it pales in comparison. It feels like I've lived my dream and my timing is coming soon. It's hard to imagine continuing to live. Even if I manage to get another girlfriend… it would be hard to replicate that connection again. I want to love someone else but… I'd rather love her again. It's so hard. Every day is really hard. Every hour is really hard. Every second is really hard. I wish SN could be taken on its own successfully. I have no way of obtaining the proper anti-emetics

 

[venin]

Knowing how it is like to have the girl of my dreams as a spouse and knowing what it's like to be truly loved by someone.
Other than that, being a ghost with no body or emotions, just a floating energy that explores the entire universe freely and eternally.

Those are fucking great mydude. Thank you for sharing

I'm gonna write it down

 

[LastBusHome]

To be completely honest, I've stopped dreaming. Having to confront the painful reality of not being able to fulfill them is just too much for me to handle. I had them at one point but that's long gone. I guess if anything I would love to be able to take care of my mom and my siblings financially while also being able to support my own life outside of them. More than that, I don't know. I don't really know if I'm going to stick around long enough for any of it to matter to be honest.

 

[venin]

I actually made it quite far in life. But… in the end my only dream was to share my life with someone. I was the one who threw that dream away due to mental instability. So… I could say that I had my dream and I threw it away. Everything else feels as if it pales in comparison. It feels like I've lived my dream and my timing is coming soon. It's hard to imagine continuing to live. Even if I manage to get another girlfriend… it would be hard to replicate that connection again. I want to love someone else but… I'd rather love her again. It's so hard. Every day is really hard. Every hour is really hard. Every second is really hard. I wish SN could be taken on its own successfully. I have no way of obtaining the proper anti-emetics

Is there no way of getting her back?

To be completely honest, I've stopped dreaming. Having to confront the painful reality of not being able to fulfill them is just too much for me to handle. I had them at one point but that's long gone. I guess if anything I would love to be able to take care of my mom and my siblings financially while also being able to support my own life outside of them. More than that, I don't know. I don't really know if I'm going to stick around long enough for any of it to matter to be honest.

I can relate. I hope you get to do what you wrote best of luck

 

[TorturedSoul999]

Unfortunately there is no way of getting her back. I waited to long to get back into contact with her by using a fake number. The guy who was waiting for me to leave managed to convince her to date within a month. I came back a month later. So I was a few weeks too late. So…. now I'm seriously contemplating. There's not much left to live for.

 

[venin]

Unfortunately there is no way of getting her back. I waited to long to get back into contact with her by using a fake number. The guy who was waiting for me to leave managed to convince her to date within a month. I came back a month later. So I was a few weeks too late. So…. now I'm seriously contemplating. There's not much left to live for.

I am really sorry… but if you love her like you say you do, I for one wouldn't give up even if she's dating that guy.

 

[TorturedSoul999]

I am really sorry… but if you love her like you say you do, I for one wouldn't give up even if she's dating that guy.

She has me blocked. Not much left to do except CTB or live the rest of my life rotting. If I kept contacting her, it's likely her boyfriend would threaten me. I messed up this reality. I have a small glimmer of hope that even if I were to take my life.. that God would understand and give me a second chance. My intentions in this life weren't bad. But regardless I messed up. I also believe that if I live out this life and do good things that it'll increase the odds of living the life I want to live afterwards but regardless. My pain is immense.

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

She has me blocked. Not much left to do except CTB or live the rest of my life rotting. If I kept contacting her, it's likely her boyfriend would threaten me. I messed up this reality. I have a small glimmer of hope that even if I were to take my life.. that God would understand and give me a second chance. My intentions in this life weren't bad. But regardless I messed up. I also believe that if I live out this life and do good things that it'll increase the odds of living the life I want to live afterwards but regardless. My pain is immense.

Relatable, im sorry for your pain

 

[venin]

She has me blocked. Not much left to do except CTB or live the rest of my life rotting. If I kept contacting her, it's likely her boyfriend would threaten me. I messed up this reality. I have a small glimmer of hope that even if I were to take my life.. that God would understand and give me a second chance. My intentions in this life weren't bad. But regardless I messed up. I also believe that if I live out this life and do good things that it'll increase the odds of living the life I want to live afterwards but regardless. My pain is immense.

So you prefer CTB instead of getting your arse kicked (worst case scenario)?

Think about it. I mean it's your choice, but in my opinion you're tapping out too soon.

Godspeed

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

I used to want to become a singer.......... Very much..... But i'm not talented enough if talented at all.......
I don't think I even allow myself to dream anymore. If it were posssible I'd want to be loved by an amzing man and maybe have 3-4 years of adult happiness.....
I would kill myself anyway..... I just waned to feel a little bit of happines as a woman..... I guess I know I don't deserve it so I don't dream about it anymore.....

I hope everyone here is having at least a decent day.........

 

[deathxo]

Slowly & steadily I have extricated myself from any grand dreams that might've had a grip on me. I still do get lulled & seduced into fantasizing about "achieving" things, but I know deep down I'm not cut out to deal with the actual reality of realizing dreams, the planning, consistency & dedicated work they require. These dreams inevitably open up a dark, anxious & envious pit inside me that I hate. I would much rather try and find happy in the here and now, in what I have.
But there is something I haven't been able to let go of! I know I'm a fool to think this, but I think the oceans call me. I would love to go deep sea diving, explore the underworld, once, somehow. Just keep swimming & swimming, like Dory! :P

 

[FindingHome]

My only dream is to CTB. I have no interest in life. Just passing the days until I can CTB. Hopefully soon in the next month after I finish preparations.

 

[Sad Avocado]

i would just like to know how it feels to be something for someone for once

 

[FuneralCry]

My dream would be to have the option to just peacefully cease existing, if I had that option I would feel so incredibly relieved as after all it would solve everything for me, suicide is suffering prevention and it comforts me the thought of being completely unaware of everything, to die removes what I see as being the true problem which is existence itself. Existence was completely unnecessary in the first place anyway and was something I never wished to be burdened with.

 

[Alltheywanted]

I just truely wanna be in love

 

[Suspect_Device]

Just a job reasonable salary, and the ability to exercise in my off hours. I have very low standards.