What are you sorry for?

[Fallen bad23]

Mention something that you are sorry for which is not related to CTBing or death.

 

[Fallen bad23]

I will go first. I'm sorry for typing my thoughts here sometimes without putting much thought into them and realising that they may pose an identity threat.

 

[sif]

Not being pretty or normal enough

 

[DeadlyLiving]

I am sorry for letting my grandma down. Even though I could easily text her and know she'd be happy to even read a simple message from me. Or even visiting her and my grandpa, they don't live that far away.
I am sorry for not playing much with my dog. I just lack the energy for it and I am so so sorry that she mostly have to play alone. I am a bad pet owner.
I am sorry for being a bad friend. I pushed everyone away from me but one and even though she wants hang out together, I can't bear to see her live her normal life while I am just existing.

 

[Redt2go]

For being antisocial when people in my life need me

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

I am sorry for my hypocrisy and my own temptations leading to my own infidelity I paid for sex because I didn't want to be a virgin when I was 26 plus I might end up doing the same thing again, yet it all depends on life plays out for me my virtues are sometimes outmatched by my sins or the other way around the drugs I got involved with alcohol, crack, cocaine, weed, cigs, vaping, benadryl for my first suicide attempt, now tried out cigars since I always wanted to try it fuck my life in general. Edit: also I am sorry for wasting my life away also everyone else's time with my personal problems and making everyone suffer.

 

[Dead Meat]

Sorry for Existing

 

[TheCrow]

I am sorry for letting my mom down. My cousin (my age) takes my aunt (her sister) on all kinds of nice vacations, bought her a house (she pays rent, but at a discount), and treats her to fancy birthday dinners. My mom has to financially support me. I know my mom feels jipped and wishes my cousin was her daughter instead.

 

[Jen Erik]

I lacked self-awareness, i.e. how my actions are perceived by & affect others and how everything is not about me, for a very long time, and it caused a lot of pain to others.

 

[Fallen bad23]

Not being pretty or normal enough

I believe that beauty is in the eyes of the gazers. You are surely beautiful in your own unique way:)

 

[Fallen bad23]

I wish I could help each and every single one of you, but I just can't :(

 

[MsM3talGamer]

For going to an ignorant cunt of a doctor who has destroyed my health.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

I wish I could help each and every single one of you, but I just can't :(

I appreciate that but this world and our kind get treated like dirt because of who we are.

 

[Fallen bad23]

I appreciate that but this world and our kind get treated like dirt because of who we are.

What do you mean by our kind?

 

[okyeah]

sorry for nothing. fuck everybody. Everyone is lucky to have been graced with my presence.

 

[Floraknife]

I'm sorry for being hopeless, and failing both my loved ones and myself by setting too high standards for myself that I could never achieve. For making promises I don't have the strength to carry out. For pulling away from everyone and potentially leaving them thinking it's anyone's fault but my own. For allowing shame, guilt, and fear to consume me past the point of no return.

I'm sorry I've allowed myself to become important to people when I've always known deep down I don't care about myself enough to be good for anyone. I'm sorry that I ignore my fiance's daily phone calls (he's in jail, I don't have funds in my account to talk to him but if I pressed accept he'd at least know I'm still alive. But knowing I won't be soon, I can't bear to give him false hope). I'm sorry for all of the times I hurt people I've cared about by being self-centered and unaware, by letting my emotions control my reactions, by speaking impulsively, and shirking my responsibilities. I'm sorry I can't make anything better and I'm sorry I'm still here.

 

[azucaramargo]

Getting f*cking fat. Now I have to work so hard to lose it all, and I don't think I can summon all the necessary will power to return to "fighting" weight. Damn.

Thanks for the opportunity to vent, @Fallen bad23

 

[killing me softly]

i am sorry for not appreciating my father, the man who raised me as his child, despite knowing i was not. i could not see past your failings as a dad and held you responsible for so much of the painful experiences i had as a child. it is only within the last couple years i realize just how convoluted life is and that there is rarely an obvious answer to fucked up situations. you showed me so much love, i was just too dense to see it. i so badly want you to know how much i now appreciate this but am afraid there is too big of a divide. you are a good man.

 

[Kyrok]

Sorry for how rough I made it on my parents growing up
Sorry for the emotional falseness with girls to get laid
Sorry for being a jerk to some people at work
Sorry for the many times my thoughtlessness hurt my wife's feeling
Sorry for the selfish use of my time and resources.

 

[LostGirl]

I am sorry for causing pain to my family with my medical conditions. I am sorry.

 

[Mr2005]

I'm sorry for being a useless cunt

 

[ReadyasEver]

I'm sorry for not being around as much as I should as the kids grew up, I was too busy working. I'm sorry I didn't tell my wife I loved her every morning when she woke up. I'm sorry that I did not reach all of the time to people who were in need. I'm sorry that I was not always the best big brother.

 

[killing me softly]

i am sorry for not appreciating my father, the man who raised me as his child, despite knowing i was not. i could not see past your failings as a dad and held you responsible for so much of the painful experiences i had as a child. it is only within the last couple years i realize just how convoluted life is and that there is rarely an obvious answer to fucked up situations. you showed me so much love, i was just too dense to see it. i so badly want you to know how much i now appreciate this but am afraid there is too big of a divide. you are a good man.

this thread made me take a step i have deeply wanted to take for a while. i have no idea what the outcome will be but wanted to share here, in part because i feel like this community is so amazingly adept at understanding what others are going through and this makes me want to share, and in part because it feels like posting this here immortalizes my hope that he will receive this in the spirit it is meant. so with that said, here is the email i sent my dad a few minutes ago:

MIME-Version: 1.0
Date: Tue, 8 Jan 2019 23:16:15 -0500
Message-ID:
Subject: belated happy new year
From:
To:

just a quick note to say it was great seeing you. i am so happy we had that
lunch. it was far too long since i last made a trip your way. too late to
take that back, so i'm just happy it didn't go any longer.

you're a great dad.

love,

*edit - context: i had not seen my dad in at least 2 years prior to the weekend before christmas. i ended up traveling there for a brief one day visit where i met him out for lunch with my sister

 

[Throwaway563078]

I'm sorry for still being a Prisoner of my own mind. whining maybe but it's a really hard battle fighting the thing inside yourself.

 

[TheCrow]

For going to an ignorant cunt of a doctor who has destroyed my health.

Oh, no! I'm so sorry. If you don't mind my asking, what happened?

 

[azucaramargo]

i am sorry for not appreciating my father, the man who raised me as his child, despite knowing i was not. i could not see past your failings as a dad and held you responsible for so much of the painful experiences i had as a child. it is only within the last couple years i realize just how convoluted life is and that there is rarely an obvious answer to fucked up situations. you showed me so much love, i was just too dense to see it. i so badly want you to know how much i now appreciate this but am afraid there is too big of a divide. you are a good man.

Oh killing me softly, this was so beautiful! Please know that your father understood that you were a child, and he knew you appreciated him.

 

[TheCrow]

this thread made me take a step i have deeply wanted to take for a while. i have no idea what the outcome will be but wanted to share here, in part because i feel like this community is so amazingly adept at understanding what others are going through and this makes me want to share, and in part because it feels like posting this here immortalizes my hope that he will receive this in the spirit it is meant. so with that said, here is the email i sent my dad a few minutes ago:

MIME-Version: 1.0
Date: Tue, 8 Jan 2019 23:16:15 -0500
Message-ID:
Subject: belated happy new year
From:
To:

just a quick note to say it was great seeing you. i am so happy we had that
lunch. it was far too long since i last made a trip your way. too late to
take that back, so i'm just happy it didn't go any longer.

you're a great dad.

love,

*edit - context: i had not seen my dad in at least 2 years prior to the weekend before christmas. i ended up traveling there for a brief one day visit where i met him out for lunch with my sister

Nice! Glad that worked out for you and that your story had a happy ending :)

 

[TheCrow]

I am sorry for causing pain to my family with my medical conditions. I am sorry.

Same.

 

[YellowJasmine]

Sorry for Existing

I appreciate your posts here on ss.

Im sorry you feel that way.

I feel exactly the same way about myself.

 

[LastDay]

I'm sorry for not being strong enough to fight this mental illness. That even though I have people who love me and I'm receiving excellent and free therapy, what my heart truly wants is to cease to exist.

I know that's death related but out of all the crazy shit I've done, I feel strongest and most sorry about this.