I am? What? Dont know. I ve lost.
Back in hospital. Not able to be at home.
We'll get a new terrible Person in our flat sharing.
Feeling helpless. I don't want to be helpless.
Tired
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CTB Dream, Lostandlooking and not-2-b-the-answer
I'm so tired and exhausted, I can't keep up. I know I'll keep trying till exhaustion kills me, I just hope it'll kill me soon. I just want to rest and not think anymore.
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CTB Dream, not-2-b-the-answer, Lostandlooking and 1 other person
I wrote a poem I think in the 90's it's published but can't remember where. Think i was 15.
Alone
Used
Torture
Thrown away like yesterday.
Beaten
Molested
Hoping the world won't see the pain I'm feeling.
Hiding in corners
Screaming in terror
Silently wanting to be held when I have no one to tell.
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CTB Dream, not-2-b-the-answer and Lostandlooking
Desperate. The feeling that the only meaningful relationship was almost only virtual and it ended with a fake created on a forum, it makes me embarassed and useless. This is my life. An alien who cant speak with anyone who is so pathetic to still think about a person who saw 6 times in all his life. And not because I am in love, but just because i'm too strange to make other friends. That's how pathetic i'm. But can I blame myself? They were so sincere and nice to me. I really would like to write them again but I cant, normal people have a life you can write after years just for a friendship, it makes you a fool and they anxious, so...
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CTB Dream, not-2-b-the-answer and Lostandlooking
This neighbourhood is a cesspit, neighbours are a bunch of hateful scum, continually tittle-tattle about others. For years in such a hostile place is depressing.
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CTB Dream, not-2-b-the-answer and S like suicide
Today I felt a new determination arising again and hopefully very soon i will attempt suicide again...i want die,i want really die with all myself please make it happen this time.
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CTB Dream, Zegers, Lostandlooking and 1 other person
Sad, a pain that nests itself deep inside my chest yet despite how much it hurts I feel at peace. I'm tired. Worried about backing off. Hoping I won't.
Having a life with hardly any family, no friends, depression and in solitude is hell-like, i have been overwhelmed by anxiety, sadness, loneliness for so many years that at this point barely feel anything but numbness and sadness, what i wish is to find the moment and leave.
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Joarga, CTB Dream and not-2-b-the-answer
I'm lonely and a lot of it is my own fault. I have so many regrets and I spend more time than I'd like thinking about the past and casting wishes and prayers into the dark unknown in the hope that I can fix something.
This is not meant to be offensive, "99 Problems", but maybe try not to identify so deeply with the BPD label? If might be causing you to reflect more on the distress you feel
Why does everything have to be so hard? Life is so hard and so much work to just even exist. I will be stuck in this repetitive cycle until I die. I have done the best I could do. I cant imagine continuing the cycle to just to get worse on down the road. I'm exhausted. There's nothing to be done. I can't keep doing this.
Reactions:
CTB Dream, Zegers and not-2-b-the-answer
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