Venting Were you abused by family?

[The Disqualified]

I was born into a very dysfunctional family. My mother is a narc who abused me physically and emotionally since the early days. She is very incompetent as a mother, and I say this with all respect and fairness. She failed me in so many ways and made me suffer so many horrible situations I can't even put into words. She is a big reason why I was disqualified so soon, there was no support whatsoever. I know she suffered a lot as well but can't bring myself to empathize with her much.
My Father is an enabler and completely absent on an emotional level. He really is a stranger to me.
I dislike both my parents and want to run away from them.
I have no connection to anyone else really. No big family or family events. I always wondered what was wrong with my family even at an early age, now I know.

I consider myself an orphan. I never had a stable or healthy family. My family hurt me so much. All I want is to run away from them forever. I don't want to see them ever again. Every day is torture, and I need to find peace. Peace.

 

[TraurigerClown]

Cant tell much about my early years, but at around first grade my father died and my mother almost immidiatly married my stepdad. He was a pedo, i think nothing more to be said....

 

[CatLvr]

I was born into a very dysfunctional family. My mother is a narc who abused me physically and emotionally since the early days. She is very incompetent as a mother, and I say this with all respect and fairness. She failed me in so many ways and made me suffer so many horrible situations I can't even put into words. She is a big reason why I was disqualified so soon, there was no support whatsoever. I know she suffered a lot as well but can't bring myself to empathize with her much.
My Father is an enabler and completely absent on an emotional level. He really is a stranger to me.
I dislike both my parents and want to run away from them.
I have no connection to anyone else really. No big family or family events. I always wondered what was wrong with my family even at an early age, now I know.

I consider myself an orphan. I never had a stable or healthy family. My family hurt me so much. All I want is to run away from them forever. I don't want to see them ever again. Every day is torture, and I need to find peace. Peace.

I could have written this word for word. Except my parents had WAY more children than any sane couple would have. And I was the scapegoat for my mom to always feel good about popping out another kid -- she had them, it was someone else's job (mine) to take care of them. I haven't had any contact with ANYONE in my family since I was in my late 30s. The single greatest thing I ever did for myself was going no contact with those people. ALL of them ...

 

[deadzombie6]

I feel like i could have written this post myself , it's the same with me . A really horrible mother and a father who doesn't gives a damn about my existence . It's a shame to even call them family , i hate them . I hope things get better for you , try gaining financial independence and it'll be hard but try and then you could maybe move out and live without them .

 

[insectontrial]

Yeah. Physically and emotionally abusive father, emotionally abusive/manipulative mother who would stand by and watch me being physically abused, and then the final person isn't family, but I was physically and emotionally abused by a teaching assistant (I think you guys across the pond call them aides) from ages 8-10, also. During that period especially, I really didn't have anywhere safe to go. I've always been very close to my paternal grandparents though, who raised me for a short period when I was a toddler and my father had cancer. As soon as I moved away for uni, I started seeing them more often than my actual parents.

I think my father's illness and mother's PMD with me, as well as my autism diagnosis at the age of 3, might've complicated the whole situation.

I know neither of my grandparents will be around for much longer. I'll feel more able to commit to my CTB plan once they are gone because then I will have no family left, in my eyes.

 

[dreaming]

My adoptive mother was physically and emotionally abusive, I still hate her, dad was absent for most of it, I don't know what to think about him.
they both died years ago now, but the damage they've caused, particularly her, has never left, and likely never will.
my spite was something that kept me motivated at one point, I hoped once she was dead things would improve, it didn't, in fact I think it was actually easier when she was still the worst of my problems.

 

[LonelyPrince]

Literally same situation but switch the roles. My father is the narc while my mother is the enabler. Family feels like a foreign concept.

 

[kilowatt]

Always oscillated between very violent and unreciprocated relationships to a total absence of them when it came to my parents. Mother lacked from every corner, father was absent for most of my life just to come out of nowhere and further ruin my life when I was a teen. Only ever found out about him sexually abusing me as a kid when my mom used it as an argument during their divorce. Still haunts me.
I've developed complex-ptsd because of my home life and I'm ashamed it still lingers in my brain and decision making at my grown age. I hate how stupidly much this has affected me during my life

 

[chaotic_crow]

I definitely was, I have dissociative identity disorder due to it. I thought as an adult it would stop but becoming physically disabled I've had to jump from family to family and every family member has their own version of abusing/mistreating people and playing the victim. It's exhausting

 

[TAW122]

I wouldn't say physically abused (unless corporal punishment and spanking counts as such; depending on who one asks...), but emotionally abused and had really authoritarian parents and what not, yes, life sucked. I also did not develop the skills that I should have during my formative years, and into adulthood my life just got fucked more and more, I was different and I was also on the spectrum... Now even though I am an adult, the gap is too wide and it will never be the same (coupled with my condition and all that - the best I can do is try to mitigate the damage and try to function in society, but then it's still not a life worth living according to my standards (I won't get into all this and what not) and now I am just biding time until I CTB.). While my parents are different from when they used to raise me, due to them getting older and having slightly different povs and different expectations as the world changed, I would still say the damage has already been done, but also personally I don't have anything that I personally find life to be worth living (speaking for myself of course).

Even if I had a perfect upbringing, I cannot guarantee that my view on life would be different, the outcome might be different, but I cannot guarantee nor promise it...

 

[Bishop]

Narcissist father

 

[CatLvr]

I definitely was, I have dissociative identity disorder due to it. I thought as an adult it would stop but becoming physically disabled I've had to jump from family to family and every family member has their own version of abusing/mistreating people and playing the victim. It's exhausting

Bless your heart. I come from a large family and finally just went no contact with ALL of them about 40 years ago now. Single best decision I have ever made -- for both my mental health and my physical safety. I truly believe if I had stayed in contact with ANY of those people I wouldn't be here now.

 

[chaotic_crow]

Bless your heart. I come from a large family and finally just went no contact with ALL of them about 40 years ago now. Single best decision I have ever made -- for both my mental health and my physical safety. I truly believe if I had stayed in contact with ANY of those people I wouldn't be here now.

I've slowly been going no contact, I kinda regret reaching out to anyone again because I just got hurt all over again but I'm in a wheelchair and being on the street is hard. I thought maybe with time they would've grown up but I was wrong. I won't be talking to anyone except occasionally checking on my grandma starting this june

 

[meowzers3276]

yeah pretty much any way you can think besides sexual (from my parents/family atleast) a lot of cops and custody battles been in my life lol

 

[thinvy]

I went through a lot by basically all of my family members hands. A lot of it is stuff that I wouldn't bring up here without being explicitly asked about (because it's bad enough to be quite triggering to just about anyone and I've only just barely gotten comfortable enough to talk about elsewhere anonymously) but short answer, yes. Maybe if I had different family, I wouldn't be so fucked up that I feel more comfortable here than around most of them. In fact, the reason I can't see myself ever not being suicidal is because of a family member.

 

[[redacted]]

I had my moments of abuse. My father insulted me several times and also slapped me. It was very painful to me because I'm very sensitive and fearful.
My parents were somewhat incompetent when it came to emotional support. They never made me feel good about myself and I never got words of encouragement from them.
It's kind of disappointing. How is it possible to not be capable to say something nice to a child lmao.

 

[here_for_now]

I definitely was, I have dissociative identity disorder due to it. I thought as an adult it would stop but becoming physically disabled I've had to jump from family to family and every family member has their own version of abusing/mistreating people and playing the victim. It's exhausting

Yep exactly my story what's worse is society is mostly ableist AS FUCK so you get everybody calling you lazy because a disabled person cant do as much work as a non disabled person who could've guessed Sherlock? That's why i choose ctb its my way of peace

 

[chaotic_crow]

Yep exactly my story what's worse is society is mostly ableist AS FUCK so you get everybody calling you lazy because a disabled person cant do as much work as a non disabled person who could've guessed Sherlock? That's why i choose ctb its my way of peace

For real it's exhausting, I spent years getting medical documentation of my disability and I've been denied SSI twice I dont wanna go through another 9months of waiting to get denied again or not even have enough to pay rent mac I could is $950-ish what am I supposed to do with that?