Venting We moved into a hotel and now I probably can't kill myself

[RustedandWeathered]

As the title says, we moved into a hotel last night. There's two beds and the walls are thin. Me and my brother have to share a bed. He's asleep as I'm typing this. My mom put the gun in the drawer next to me, which is funny. Does she even know what I'm planning to do? I'm gonna fucking blow my brains out on July 20th. I probably can't even go in the bathroom to cut myself without her checking on me. I hate this shit so fucking much. Please kill me god (if there is one)

 

[fadedghost]

As the title says, we moved into a hotel last night. There's two beds and the walls are thin. Me and my brother have to share a bed. He's asleep as I'm typing this. My mom put the gun in the drawer next to me, which is funny. Does she even know what I'm planning to do? I'm gonna fucking blow my brains out on July 20th. I probably can't even go in the bathroom to cut myself without her checking on me. I hate this shit so fucking much. Please kill me god (if there is one)

Honestly, that's really fucking mean to do.

Living in a hotel is hard as hell. Your mom and your brother are already suffering. You can wait 6 months or a year and do it when they aren't living in a hotel with you.

Just because you are suicidal and just because you want to die doesn't mean you have to end your life in a cruel and unethical way.

Find a way to keep it together for a year, to get a job and help them get stabilized, then you go to a completely new town, pretend you met someone new, and then pretend to break up after a month, then lose your phone and get a new number, and then call them and tell them how much you care, and THEN a few days later you can do it if you still desperately need to (this is not encouragement for you to commit suicide). You don't do it in a way that causes as much damage as possible. I am not encouraging you to end it, but at least wait.

It could also be less than a year, and doesn't need to involve you working necessarily, you just need to not be living with them in a hotel. That's such a hard situation for them. Don't make it harder.

It sucks living in a hotel or motel, your mom is going through so much already, find a way, find a way to not die for a year.

also, during this time, you can go to na.org or smartrecovery.org instead of using if you want support and don't want to be on drugs. the important thing is to delay this.

i get that it's terrible and you're in extreme pain, but make the right choice and wait and don't do it while you're in a hotel with family while they are struggling. this is the wrong time to do it. wait.

 

[Passenger4224]

Honestly, that's really fucking mean to do.

Living in a hotel is hard as hell. Your mom and your brother are already suffering. You can wait 6 months or a year and do it when they aren't living in a hotel with you.

Just because you are suicidal and just because you want to die doesn't mean you have to end your life in a cruel and unethical way.

Find a way to keep it together for a year, to get a job and help them get stabilized, then you go to a completely new town, pretend you met someone new, and then pretend to break up after a month, then lose your phone and get a new number, and then call them and tell them how much you care, and THEN a few days later you can do it if you still desperately need to (this is not encouragement for you to commit suicide). You don't do it in a way that causes as much damage as possible. I am not encouraging you to end it, but at least wait.

It could also be less than a year, and doesn't need to involve you working necessarily, you just need to not be living with them in a hotel. That's such a hard situation for them. Don't make it harder.

It sucks living in a hotel or motel, your mom is going through so much already, find a way, find a way to not die for a year.

also, during this time, you can go to na.org or smartrecovery.org instead of using if you want support and don't want to be on drugs. the important thing is to delay this.

i get that it's terrible and you're in extreme pain, but make the right choice and wait and don't do it while you're in a hotel with family while they are struggling. this is the wrong time to do it. wait.

Ultimately it's up to OP what he wants to do. It would be horrendous for the family but I wouldn't call it unethical. If OP follows through with a CTB plan, he should just be aware of the consequences and how it will affect the already struggling family.

 

[fadedghost]

Ultimately it's up to OP what he wants to do. It would be horrendous for the family but I wouldn't call it unethical. If OP follows through with a CTB plan, he should just be aware of the consequences and how it will affect the already struggling family.

I respect your point of view. I get how people could view it differently. No one asks to be born, why should we have obligations to others? But... at least waiting 6 months or a year seems the decent thing to do, and ctbing in that situation seems awful. I think OP should do everything possible to wait.

Narcotics Anonymous

What is our message? The message is that an addict, any addict, can stop using drugs, lose the desire to use, and find a new way to live. Our message is hope and the promise is freedom.

www.na.org

mentioned again since OP mentioned in another post about stuff, or I thought OP did

 

[RustedandWeathered]

I'm actually a she fyi.

Ultimately it's up to OP what he wants to do. It would be horrendous for the family but I wouldn't call it unethical. If OP follows through with a CTB plan, he should just be aware of the consequences and how it will affect the already struggling family.

 

[Passenger4224]

I'm actually a she fyi.

I don't even remember why I used "he", I think that was pre-coffee me who sent that...

My bad!