E
Empty gas can
Member
- May 3, 2021
- 34
Ever tried to talk about your suicidal ideation or attempts? I did. I was told I did it for attention, that I was a coward, that I was weak, toxic, a loser... Nobody wants to hear about us talking about our feelings of despair and why we don't see anything left to live for.
From my point of view, my reasons are very real. Health issues and extended social isolation and marginalization has only left my with anger, sadness and resentment. I can barely feel any pleasure or connection to anything or anyone anymore. Seriously. All I wanted is being able to call somebody to have a drink or play video games with once in a while. I can't even. I'm too fucked up in the head to be able to appreciate it anymore, because deep down, people are all out of fucks to give for a weak, sick, boring, useless piece of human garbage like me. This feeling is so deeply rooted, I think it shows even when I feel good and it pushes people away.
This is hell. I tried therapy, meds, exercise, trying to change my outlook. Sure, all those things I have control on can help when I manage them, but all the rest of my shit I CAN'T control weights just too much in the balance of things.
Everything is gray and tasteless... and fuck the world. Because, you know, why care about other people when they don't care about you.
Fuck this
From my point of view, my reasons are very real. Health issues and extended social isolation and marginalization has only left my with anger, sadness and resentment. I can barely feel any pleasure or connection to anything or anyone anymore. Seriously. All I wanted is being able to call somebody to have a drink or play video games with once in a while. I can't even. I'm too fucked up in the head to be able to appreciate it anymore, because deep down, people are all out of fucks to give for a weak, sick, boring, useless piece of human garbage like me. This feeling is so deeply rooted, I think it shows even when I feel good and it pushes people away.
This is hell. I tried therapy, meds, exercise, trying to change my outlook. Sure, all those things I have control on can help when I manage them, but all the rest of my shit I CAN'T control weights just too much in the balance of things.
Everything is gray and tasteless... and fuck the world. Because, you know, why care about other people when they don't care about you.
Fuck this
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