Venting My new relationship is failing, and I'm ending it when it does

[mrwizard11]

I've been here before. I left. I thought I'd never be back, but here I am again. I was married for 10 years, and it ended over next to nothing. We both contributed to it's failure, and I thought I couldn't take it. I was suicidal for months, but I met someone else and I survived. But now, it's failing with my new partner and this time it's not even anything I did or can control.

I just can't do it anymore dude. I try and try and I still draw the short straw. By any other standard I should be happy, but without a partner to share it with, life loses all meaning. I don't have any friends, and my family is super small. The number of people that care about me numbers 3, and I'm not even sure they really care. My partner definitely hasn't seemed to care lately. Outside of that, all I have is work and taking care of people that need me. No one ever takes care of me, or asks how I am doing. I am so tired of it all the time. If this doesn't last, I can't go on doing it. I feel like this is the one thing I can control and I have to put myself first.

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

I think I can relate to you. First off I'm sorry your relationship is not working out. I've never been able to see myself in a relationship after being manipulated as a young teen, but I can imagine it's hard to lose a bond with someone else. You don't deserve to go through that at all, especially if it's beyond your control, and I'm truly sorry that's happened.

I know what it's like to feel neglected, I live in an adult group home with staff that do the bare minimum, but they don't bother to actually ever engage me or care for me. Though they are good friends with each other. It feels desolate and lonely. I have 1 friend I talk to, and without him, I don't know how I'd survive. Still it doesn't feel like I'm truly close to anyone who is loving and kind to me.

 

[mrwizard11]

For me it's family. I work in IT which is chill but can be high stress. But during my divorce, my mother ended up having a heart attack, was unable to work and had to move in with me. Now I'm her full caregiver when I haven't even recovered from my situation. Then I have to deal with my failing relationship on top of that. If I lost my partner, I feel like I'd be stuck in a rut with having nothing left to live for except trying to survive, find someone new while taking care of my mom 100%. I just can't see myself surviving that situation.