Discussion Was anybody else doing very well before becoming sick?

[barty1013]

Being alone is not something I would wish on any one. I do have a small core of friends (four) that I have known since high school and they are true. But they have families thus they are busy most of the time. I would like to meet new friends, maybe a new girlfriend but after what I just went through I might skip that.

I would like to say re: a relationship, you never know. It can still happen. I don't expect one either but one doesn't know what will happen, with our health or otherwise, and I think that is what keeps me going. I am glad, very glad, to hear you have four! and for most of your life...That is a blessing more than most people get actually, when it's true.

 

[lymestolemylife]

I was tbh. I had a very happy life ahead of me. If I hadn't gotten sick I'd probably be studying medicine right now while having the time of my life living with my friends.

Yes I was even doing ok with Lyme a few years ago, I would have equally good and bad days so life was still worth living, now its only a few good days and many bad days, If I have a good day I will pay for 3-4 days for it, I have chronic pain now and neuropathy when I used to have intermittent muscle pains and burning pains that would come and go. I have chronic pain daily. Life is not worth living anymore and i'm suffering greatly. All I can do is lie in bed being tortured with neuropathy or a migraine or severe fatigue and weakness. Its a miserable existence. The only person I am staying here for is my husband because it will utterly break his heart. My daughter is detached from me probably because I can never be there for her or "mother" her because i'm so sick.

I was doing very well. Years of hard work were paying off, I was travelling, enjoying life, and still young. Then a medicated cream damaged my brain and body. Two and a half years of suffering and I've recently gotten worse. I still wake up every morning in disbelief at how something so ridiculous could destroy everything. Every day is torture

So sorry I know that feeling of being robbed, my life was robbed when i got Lyme. Everyday for me is miserable torture as well. Most foods give me actual pain so I can't even enjoy food. All I can eat without pain is vegetables chicken, beef, eggs, not even spices everything else hurts me.

 

[barty1013]

Yes I was even doing ok with Lyme a few years ago, I would have equally good and bad days so life was still worth living, now its only a few good days and many bad days, If I have a good day I will pay for 3-4 days for it, I have chronic pain now and neuropathy when I used to have intermittent muscle pains and burning pains that would come and go. I have chronic pain daily. Life is not worth living anymore and i'm suffering greatly. All I can do is lie in bed being tortured with neuropathy or a migraine or severe fatigue and weakness. Its a miserable existence. The only person I am staying here for is my husband because it will utterly break his heart. My daughter is detached from me probably because I can never be there for her or "mother" her because i'm so sick.

i have lyme too plus cervical stenosis....neuropathy, burning, etc.

 

[lymestolemylife]

i have lyme too plus cervical stenosis....neuropathy, burning, etc.

Ugh the neuropathy and burning is the worst isn't it? The soles of my feet burn whenever I eat food my body doesn't like....over it....My forearms burn every morning like they are on fire. The only thing that helps reduce the severity of it is Kratom at 3am otherwise its sharp and unbearable when I wake up.

Yes, I was doing the job I love and was able to travel all over, enjoyed life very much...but my physical illness is progressive and I can't work any more, so no finances, physically incapable of travel...can't run, can't swim, can't dance...

Is your Lyme getting worse? Mine has gotten way worse over the last 3 years. If it had stayed where it was I would not be here on this site but it's torturing me and making living impossible.

 

[hatelife]

I had everything. I was so happy. Everything going for me, then I had a mental breakdown and self-sabotaged everything. I was beautiful, I shaved my head in a manic episode, I've atrophied my body away by laying in bed, my license is gone from DUIs, I have no hope or will to move past this. The emotional pain and shame I am left to sit with everyday is too much for me to handle, I used to be able to find comfort in my beauty and I can't even do that anymore. I am trapped in a nightmare I can't escape. I feel I am stuck in a bad acid trip. I feel my brain is severely damaged now from sleeping so much and this mental illness, it's just getting worse, I cannot focus on anything or function properly anymore, I feel my soul is stuck in a body on autopilot, I will be doing things and then switch to something else and forget, it's like waking from amnesia every five minutes. I can't recognize myself anymore.

I shaved my head also in a rage after what happened to me by an evil doctor, but Ive tried to grow it out now, still hate what that doctor did to me, also just from depression really and my hairloss.

 

[barty1013]

Ugh the neuropathy and burning is the worst isn't it? The soles of my feet burn whenever I eat food my body doesn't like....over it....My forearms burn every morning like they are on fire. The only thing that helps reduce the severity of it is Kratom at 3am otherwise its sharp and unbearable when I wake up.

Is your Lyme getting worse? Mine has gotten way worse over the last 3 years. If it had stayed where it was I would not be here on this site but it's torturing me and making living impossible.

yes, my forearms at night, same. Haven't tried Kratom yet. have you tried Alpha Lipoic Acid? Just started that...seems a bit less the last few days.

 

[hatelife]

Yes, I was doing the job I love and was able to travel all over, enjoyed life very much...but my physical illness is progressive and I can't work any more, so no finances, physically incapable of travel...can't run, can't swim, can't dance...

I havent traveled since 2006

 

[barty1013]

Ugh the neuropathy and burning is the worst isn't it? The soles of my feet burn whenever I eat food my body doesn't like....over it....My forearms burn every morning like they are on fire. The only thing that helps reduce the severity of it is Kratom at 3am otherwise its sharp and unbearable when I wake up.

Is your Lyme getting worse? Mine has gotten way worse over the last 3 years. If it had stayed where it was I would not be here on this site but it's torturing me and making living impossible.

I'm in the beginning stages from this summer...I try to eat right...take my cat's claw, oil of oregano, no sugar, lots of tumeric and ginger, the alpha lipoic acid for the neuropathy. Just throwing this stuff out there. Also, I've started intermittent fasting...sometimes 2 day blocks...less or no carbs, high keto...all of this is choices from so much research on the research...Not sure what works or doesn't, just trying to make some symptoms less

I havent traveled since 2006

From physical illness? Before I CTB, I'm saving a little bit of money and I"m gonna wander away and choose another country to CTB, see something lovely before I go, hopefully find some Ayahuasca or something of the sort...

 

[lymestolemylife]

yes, my forearms at night, same. Haven't tried Kratom yet. have you tried Alpha Lipoic Acid? Just started that...seems a bit less the last few days.

Kratom really helps my neuropathy. Alpha Lipoic Acid has helped int he past maybe I will try it again. The problem is nothing ever helps substantially enough. Lyme is such a horrible disease and does such damage that everything only helps a little and the rest is daily torture. Sorry to hear you are a new Lymie. Did it hit you acutely? How did you get it?

 

[barty1013]

Kratom really helps my neuropathy. Alpha Lipoic Acid has helped int he past maybe I will try it again. The problem is nothing ever helps substantially enough. Lyme is such a horrible disease and does such damage that everything only helps a little and the rest is daily torture. Sorry to hear you are a new Lymie. Did it hit you acutely? How did you get it?

Hey dear...I live in New Jersey in a heavily wooded area. I was put on Doxy immediately after having a bullseye and various symptoms, and since then, neuropathy and intestinal issues. I also have cervical stenosis which is neurological in and of itself so the combo is awful to have. Combined with Depersonalization Disorder, from child abuse. The combination is just pushing me out of having a body or an identity, you might understand what I'm saying. Lyme is the least troublesome at this time, but I do worry about it worsening, as I don't have finances to take care of it aggressively and western medicine, well, is kind crap in my experience...unless you have to get something cut out and you are half dead. Every pill I was given this year gave me some kind of immediate serious side effect. I'm sorry for your struggle, and anyone else here. I think of suicide every 5 minutes. I believe in/know of an afterworld, and think we as souls have the right to say enough is enough. But like you, trying to survive and do my best, hoping for a brighter day. Frankly, money would make a world of a difference to try to problem solve all three of my ailments.

 

[pole]

i think i was definitely better than i am now. but i don't really believe i was ever really "doing well", never thought i would be back then, never thought i would be in the future now, or in life in general honestly.

 

[lymestolemylife]

The combination is just pushing me out of having a body or an identity,

Yes, this is exactly how I feel. I lost myself. I used to be an athlete, I used to be a professional, I used to love doing many things on the weekends, I used to I used to I used to. This is not me, lying in bed suffering all day is not me, Sadly my daughter probably never knew the real me.

 

[barty1013]

Yes, this is exactly how I feel. I lost myself. I used to be an athlete, I used to be a professional, I used to love doing many things on the weekends, I used to I used to I used to. This is not me, lying in bed suffering all day is not me, Sadly my daughter probably never knew the real me.

The only good thing that has come out of this for me is extremely empathy. I hate seeing anyone go thru what I go thru....or worse. I'm physically very weak, legs and arms, but I don't experience the level of crippling pain that others do. I would be gone by now if I did. I'm usually a "3", at worst an "8"...but it's a good thing I don't live in a high rise, nor is one near, or I'd be gone. I don't know how people do such extreme pain. I'm still getting by on ibuprofen and turmeric and ginger. You did suggest Kratom, I believe, was that you? Do you use CBD oil or marijuana? Anything else? I was an amateur runner and tennis player. I did not start in this lifetime being athletic, I was an artistic child, but because I came to athletics later in life at 30, I relished my athleticism. I discovered it later in life, and that gave me great gratitude. Nothing made me feel more alive, or spiritual, or happy...than sport. To lose that has been the hardest thing for me. I can walk but I'm wobbly. I'm here to talk or to share treatment ideas if you ever need to talk.

 

[mathieu]

Things were good till I was like 13 1/2 that's when mental illness set in

 

[lymestolemylife]

The only good thing that has come out of this for me is extremely empathy. I hate seeing anyone go thru what I go thru....or worse. I'm physically very weak, legs and arms, but I don't experience the level of crippling pain that others do. I would be gone by now if I did. I'm usually a "3", at worst an "8"...but it's a good thing I don't live in a high rise, nor is one near, or I'd be gone. I don't know how people do such extreme pain. I'm still getting by on ibuprofen and turmeric and ginger. You did suggest Kratom, I believe, was that you? Do you use CBD oil or marijuana? Anything else? I was an amateur runner and tennis player. I did not start in this lifetime being athletic, I was an artistic child, but because I came to athletics later in life at 30, I relished my athleticism. I discovered it later in life, and that gave me great gratitude. Nothing made me feel more alive, or spiritual, or happy...than sport. To lose that has been the hardest thing for me. I can walk but I'm wobbly. I'm here to talk or to share treatment ideas if you ever need to talk.

Yes that was me. I rely on Kratom and take Kratom with my Tramadol if my pain is very bad. I can't take anything stronger many medicines cause burning pain, a rebound type allergic pain reaction. I'd rather have the kind of pain I used to get instead of what I have now. The neuropathy is the worst. I've given up on treatment nothing works, and I herx so badly on everything. I'm allergic to many substances, food and medicine and whatever is in Marijuana causes me pain, which sucks really bad. CBD doesn't work for me at all. I'm treating parasites right now and that is working. I'm here too as well. Lymies understand each other. Lyme is a horrific disease I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

 

[Moonicide]

I've always been sick in a sense... Things went south with me when I hit 14. I never recovered and have been battling and living with mental illness for 15 years. Never really had a chance to live a normal life.

 

[Innereye]

Yeah I was really just getting over alot of mental health issues, i had felt like I defeated depression. Then my physical health took a bad turn and here I am suffering harder than ever before. I want my life back but its not looking good.

 

[barty1013]

Yeah I was really just getting over alot of mental health issues, i had felt like I defeated depression. Then my physical health took a bad turn and here I am suffering harder than ever before. I want my life back but its not looking good.

Same with me, after a lifetime of depersonalization disorder among other things, I developed a serious illness just while coming out of it, I didn't have a month of happy and normal and then.....kinda sick when the timing is like that in life....

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

I was up and down with both physical and mental Illness most of my life. It's been the last 6 months both went down hill. My physical health is horrible now. I can barely eat. I'm 20 pounds below what I should be. My mental health is horrible.

 

[barty1013]

I was up and down with both physical and mental Illness most of my life. It's been the last 6 months both went down hill. My physical health is horrible now. I can barely eat. I'm 20 pounds below what I should be. My mental health is horrible.

I deal with both too. This feeling of slipping away, and I don't know what to give myself to heal on either counts. I hope you are getting the care you need.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

I deal with both too. This feeling of slipping away, and I don't know what to give myself to heal on either counts. I hope you are getting the care you need.

Sadly no I'm not. I was in the Er the other day for severe dehydration because I had a stomach bug. Since then I can't seem to eat. My friend did the math and I'm only taking in about 600 calories a day if I keep that down. Sent them a pic of what i look like and they were shocked. The mental anguish is horrible. Honestly I've found more peace on here than anywhere lately. And Valium helps a bit. The slipping away sounds about how I feel here too.

 

[terry_a_davis]

I was 'doing well', had a job, friends, partner, hobbies, owned a property. But i lost everything through schizophrenia brought on by drug abuse. I'm in remission now but that's all i have now. It's hard to believe I was once doing ok, i'm both grateful and sad about it. Atleast i've been happy at some point, some poor souls never have been.