want to ctb already but still can't

[404]

im tired already and it really hurts to just keep existing

i hate that im still hesitating because i keep thinking that my friend will come back even though they won't no matter how long i wait

maybe the method that i might go with (which is stabbing) makes me hesitate a lot more but i don't have access to anything else

i want to see my friend again even though it's my fault that they left me in the first place...

i hate everything about myself

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry what you have to go through but stabbing is such a cruel if not the cruelest method to CTB. You might only really succeed doing it as "seppuku" like ninja worriers in Japan did it in the past. If hanging isn't an option you might want to have a look into the CO method which is very lethal and peaceful and not too expensive/difficult other peaceful method but more expensive would be inert gas/N2. I Hope you can find peace and I wish you all the best!

 

[90starve]

stabbing would defo make me hesitate as even the thought of it makes me anxious! i admire your bravery for choosing this method - but i worry that you will end up seriously injured and in hospital, rather than peacefully dead.

im sorry to read that you're stuck in this battle of wanting to stay and wanting to go - many of us face the same decision right now. it's undeniably upsetting and frustrating at times - thinking of you <3

 

[FuneralCry]

I do understand that it's so awful and tiring feeling trapped here, there really is too much suffering in existing, but anyway I wish you the best, it's up to you deciding on any potential method but to me stabbing sounds risky as the survival instinct would kick in, I imagine it just leading to injuries. I hate how it's so difficult to die in this world, as humans we deserve the option to finally leave in peace without risks and complications.