waiting until your both parents are dead

[regular john]

do you think guys it makes sense to wait with suicide untill your both parents are dead ? Nobody likes to see his or her kid dead.

 

[magick'sgone]

That's what I'm attempting to do. Some days it seems possible, others unlikely.

 

[booray]

That's a question only you can decide because your parents might live to be a very old age.

 

[iwanttodie000]

My parents have kept me alive because of just that for years and years and years. I can't do it anymore. I don't want to hurt them, but I have spent my whole life living for them and I have hit the point I can no longer go on. I am going to do the very best I can to make it as simple and as clear that it's not their fault. But they will unfortunately have to deal with me being dead

 

[gus.nixon]

Well, you could whack your parents first. just saying..

[EDIT] I was being facetious. Not serious at all. Please don't harm anyone else.

 

[Sullun]

do you think guys it makes sense to wait with suicide untill your both parents are dead ? Nobody likes to see his or her kid dead.

I've always thought this but I can no longer wait that long. My parents are only in their early 60s and in very good health. I love my parents and I'm ashamed to say this but I sometimes wish the two of them would be killed in a car crash or something to just free me up to CTB.

 

[262653]

It seems the be the road I'm currently following (and it's a long road indeed) but not because they would feel sad, lol. Fuck them. It's just when they die, I would have to earn my own keep, so I'll have a good motivation to die myself.

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

My mother is dead and my father just now disowned me, yet I am still holding on. Somedays I really wish I had the courage but I guess its not time.

 

[Ame]

Outliving your descendants is unnatural and having to bury your own child is probably the most soul crushing tragedy that a parent can face. The guilt that comes from knowing that my parents will never be the same is so painful, but I cannot burden them as I do for the rest of their lives. They have worked so hard to nurture me and provided me with everything they could so that I could grow into a proper adult but I couldn't even give them that. I have spent my entire adult life being sick and useless and I cannot possibly see that changing. I have taken more than my share and I cannot even make up for it by being in a position to care for them when they get too old to care for themselves.

Maybe it is callous, because killing myself is the worst thing I can do to me parents, but I do hope that my death comes with an undercurrent of relief. They worry about me all the time. I refuse to have them sacrifice their final years constantly having to worry about what happens to me after they die.

 

[sorella santini]

Speaking as a parent, no I don't want to outlive my children. It would be the saddest thing I could possibly think of.

Both of my parents have been dead for decades so that's not something I think about.

 

[Lupgevif]

I think about this plenty, but I often feel like I won't bear the wait.

 

[lofticries]

I've already disappointed my parents for being a failure at life so I don't want to cause them more shame by ending it. Plus my mom has mental issues of her own so I don't want to drive her over the edge. Other than them I have no one else to live for. I might also get a cat to tide me over as well since they don't live that long anyway.

 

[DeadButDreaming]

My mother is dead and my father just now disowned me, yet I am still holding on. Somedays I really wish I had the courage but I guess its not time.

Do you mind my asking why your father disowned you?

 

[throwaway2goawy]

I was trying to wait until my parents die but I can't hold on much longer, plus with no kids or gf right now i feel like it's a good time to ctb

 

[Trisolaris]

It's everyone's own decision. I can't do that.

 

[Bauhaus]

Outliving your descendants is unnatural and having to bury your own child is probably the most soul crushing tragedy that a parent can face. The guilt that comes from knowing that my parents will never be the same is so painful, but I cannot burden them as I do for the rest of their lives. They have worked so hard to nurture me and provided me with everything they could so that I could grow into a proper adult but I couldn't even give them that. I have spent my entire adult life being sick and useless and I cannot possibly see that changing. I have taken more than my share and I cannot even make up for it by being in a position to care for them when they get too old to care for themselves.

Maybe it is callous, because killing myself is the worst thing I can do to me parents, but I do hope that my death comes with an undercurrent of relief. They worry about me all the time. I refuse to have them sacrifice their final years constantly having to worry about what happens to me after they die.

This could have been written by my cos I feel exactly the same.
My parents are now in their mid 70's and I should be the one taking care of them while I'm suicidal and I don't want to be here anymore while I know it would hurt them immensely. I love my parents but the one thing I regret and even angry at is that I'm an only child and all the burden rests on your shoulders. My whole life I wished I had sibling(s), then it wouldn't be that awful when I'm not around anymore.
And I lack practical knowledge to survive in this world.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I think I made the same mistake in regards to this that many do when planning on hanging themselves. I've read about people testing out how it feels to hang yourself before going ahead with a full suspension. Since the experience is completely awful and the worst ten seconds of your life, having "checked it out" beforehand will make it more difficult to go ahead with the suicide when the time comes. Instead being blissfully unaware of just how horrible the death is and having false ideas that you can "handle it" is the best way to approach things.

I've let my parents know about my suicidality several times and seen how they are affected by it. They can handle me airing my suicidality but it's obvious that it has some negative effect on their psychologies. If I actually do it, they will be devastated, but that's not even the biggest injury to them from my future suicide. My little sister will get crushed by the suicide, acting as a resonance chamber as well.

I'd rather my family not have to go through my suicide but I'm really at my wits' end. Why couldn't they just have worn a condom?

 

[hershberger]

If my mom died, it would be much easier to ctb. She is such a wonderful person; it would be much more difficult to go and leave her behind. Right now, she's 70 and in decent health. She is the primary reason I'm still here.

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

Do you mind my asking why your father disowned you?

I was supposed to start an apprenticeship to become in an electrician but I declined the offer because I don't have the money or vehicle to drive to work and he says his reputation is damaged now because he put his name on the line for me

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

It's the noble thing to do, but... it shouldn't be your only reason to stay alive. Your parents are older than you. That means they have the perspective and coping skills that you don't have. Even if they outlive you---and parents outliving their kids is considered extremely tragic by pro-lifers---they'll eventually adjust to the new reality and go on with their lives. But you're the one feeling miserable here. So you have to worry about yourself first. So if you made a decision to CTB, do what your heart tells you, and let the survivors deal with the emotional fallout.

 

[Passersby]

This is a tough situation to be in. Only the individual will know what's best and even then you may not ever fully know. Can we ever completely stand behind our decision? Hopefully. Guess it depends on the outcome. The bottom line is that some kind of a decision must be made eventually. You just have to look at your suffering and situation and eventually get to whatever outcome you feel is best.

 

[Loser47]

I'm too selfish to wait.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

I suppose it depends how the parents treated their kid. In many cultures, parents are extremely obsessive over their children's grades in school, and are willing to do ANYTHING to make good grades happen. This includes emotional or even physical abuse. That's when I have absolutely no sympathy for the parents' grief when their child CTB's. In which case, no waiting is needed. Otherwise, it's to be decided on a case-by-case basis.

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

I sometimes think about waiting for them to die but not precisely because I care much about how they feel after I die (they both play a significant role on my injury) but because once they're death there would be much less probability that I'm found and because I could use their money to try and get N. But I think it would be very hard because my dad is 65 so I'll have to wait 15-30 years approx. My mom is 60.

but at least I know that one day there would be a way out of this hell. Even if I have to wait up to 30 years :( one day I'll be free. Every day that passes is a day closer to my death. Ohh how I wish I had a terminal disease sometimes...

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm actually considering this too! I just can't destroy my dad's life.

 

[Sakura94]

too long

 

[regular john]

Outliving your descendants is unnatural and having to bury your own child is probably the most soul crushing tragedy that a parent can face. The guilt that comes from knowing that my parents will never be the same is so painful, but I cannot burden them as I do for the rest of their lives. They have worked so hard to nurture me and provided me with everything they could so that I could grow into a proper adult but I couldn't even give them that. I have spent my entire adult life being sick and useless and I cannot possibly see that changing. I have taken more than my share and I cannot even make up for it by being in a position to care for them when they get too old to care for themselves.

Maybe it is callous, because killing myself is the worst thing I can do to me parents, but I do hope that my death comes with an undercurrent of relief. They worry about me all the time. I refuse to have them sacrifice their final years constantly having to worry about what happens to me after they die.

I was thinking the same. I want to free my mum from me. She worries about me all the time cause I didn't make it in life. I never had proper job etc. She will cry for a couple of days probably but after that she will live quiet and peacefull life for the rest of her life.

 

[Sslsh]

do you think guys it makes sense to wait with suicide untill your both parents are dead ? Nobody likes to see his or her kid dead.

Well that was my plan. But things are getting shitty. And my parents married young so they are still in their late 40s. Can't wait another 30 odd years lol. They've lived longer than me and have experienced things I never will. So I don't care if they suffer for the rest of their lives due to my ctb

 

[Stolen Absolution]

Both of my parents have said they can't bury another child, but I truly don't know if I can survive this daily torment much longer. I have kids, so I'm holding on as long as I possibly can.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I'm doing just that so l can put my plan into action that I've working on for 30 odd year's! Vengeance is a dish best served cold! 1 down 1 to go.