Waiting to die

[Sk1rtd4b]

I used to post a lot more regularly on here but I pretty much told my story of why I'm choosing to do this across a few different posts I've made. I have my SN, and I was planning on leaving a lot sooner, but I've had 0 chances to do so. I thought I wasn't going to make it past July but here I am now. Shit has only gotten worse since then, but I won't go into depth here if you're curious just check my past posts. Right now, I'm just waiting till the time comes where I have a window of about 2 days where I am now expected to be anywhere and not expecting to be contacted by anyone whatsoever. I really wish I could leave right now and technically I could, but it wouldn't give me the peace of mind knowing I just wouldn't be found till it is too late. As bad as life has been, waiting a little beats getting caught and being sent to mental hospital where I wouldn't have any sort of chance to commit suicide. All my assumptions about living longer than I originally planned were true, shit only got worse and more unbearable. I'm not even surprised because the decision has already been made in my head. I know I won't turn back when the window opens. I don't want to undermine the severity and magnitude of what I'm doing, I know it is a big move to make which I why I am willing to set it off a little to make sure it is perfectly executed. I'll probably make another post just talking about how I'm feeling and the status of everything and then after that it'll be the goodbye post.

 

[simplesimon93]

I hope things get better for you. We all deserve peace and calmness in life!

 

[Buh-bye!]

I used to post a lot more regularly on here but I pretty much told my story of why I'm choosing to do this across a few different posts I've made. I have my SN, and I was planning on leaving a lot sooner, but I've had 0 chances to do so. I thought I wasn't going to make it past July but here I am now. Shit has only gotten worse since then, but I won't go into depth here if you're curious just check my past posts. Right now, I'm just waiting till the time comes where I have a window of about 2 days where I am now expected to be anywhere and not expecting to be contacted by anyone whatsoever. I really wish I could leave right now and technically I could, but it wouldn't give me the peace of mind knowing I just wouldn't be found till it is too late. As bad as life has been, waiting a little beats getting caught and being sent to mental hospital where I wouldn't have any sort of chance to commit suicide. All my assumptions about living longer than I originally planned were true, shit only got worse and more unbearable. I'm not even surprised because the decision has already been made in my head. I know I won't turn back when the window opens. I don't want to undermine the severity and magnitude of what I'm doing, I know it is a big move to make which I why I am willing to set it off a little to make sure it is perfectly executed. I'll probably make another post just talking about how I'm feeling and the status of everything and then after that it'll be the goodbye post.

things about this post just made me really upset, i am sorry if that comes off as something bad. i just sort of feel very upset about you feeling this and i was merely hooked to the post until the part you said about the goodbye post, when i read that i felt even sad. don't know if it's the words of yours that being so relatable made me feel a connection towards you or it's just the ken carson in pfp. i'll try and stay hooked with further threads made! ( try )
and sorry if things come off as bad or negative, i am very negative

I hope things get better for you. We all deserve peace and calmness in life!

amen

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand just wanting to be gone, I also just wish to not exist, it feels so cruel and dreadful to me how existing can easily get worse and more unbearable but anyway I wish you the best.