Venting Waiting for the right time

[HeartThatFeeds]

I don't know about anyone else, bit right now I'm just waiting for the right time, the perfect moment where I can die with no regrets.

Now that I have everything ready, I know that at any moment I can go out, however I choose not to for the sake of regretting it, I know that most likely SI will kick in when I CBT, but I don't want to die afraid, I want know that I'm making the correct decision, it's my own will that's keeping me alive even when I know I can choose to go at any time.

I actually like it this way, It means I can just take things easy without worrying if I'll regret it as soon as I make my decision, as soon as I know the times right nothing will stop me.

I saw a glimpse of that today and It made me feel happy, excited for the future knowing that when I go when I can die without fear.

 

[been__ready]

I am glad you feel relief and are excited for the future!

I can't say I feel the same though.

As soon as I am able - I would like to politely and quietly bow out. All I have is regrets unfortunately.. maybe that will change once my methods becomes secure!