Violent suicide.

[pauly369]

Im in a seriously pissed - off mood right now.
When Im in a bad mood my thoughts of suicide turn to violent methods as opposed to gentler methods such as gas.
My thoughts can get quite crazy.
I was dreaming before of a shoving a dildo shaped stick of dynamite up my ass and blowing the shit out of myself.

 

[sharpiemarker]

the dynamite is crazy work. but i often think about stabbing myself to death like 50 times. or cutting my throat open. idk if this is even considered violent

 

[Lo$t95]

the dynamite is crazy work. but i often think about stabbing myself to death like 50 times. or cutting my throat open. idk if this is even considered violent

Same that's a frequent one for me - I just know I don't have the willpower to do that.

 

[sharpiemarker]

Same that's a frequent one for me - I just know I don't have the willpower to do that.

i think i could go for the throat but wouldnt be able to go through with stabbing. but throat slitting feels like not a very reliable method tbh and leaving such a big mess not my cuup of tea

 

[DivineSpark]

i think i could go for the throat but wouldnt be able to go through with stabbing. but throat slitting feels like not a very reliable method tbh and leaving such a big mess not my cuup of tea

I got nice big forest knife, but I am pussy when it comes to pain, I cannot tolerate pain very well. So slicing wrists and throat is out of question.

 

[Foolishness]

the dynamite is crazy work. but i often think about stabbing myself to death like 50 times. or cutting my throat open. idk if this is even considered violent

I think about slitting my throat too, I often run my blade across it experimentally. Sometimes I feel that if I CTB in a gruesome, then people would understand how desperate I was for relief.

 

[relapse]

I think about slitting my throat too, I often run my blade across it experimentally. Sometimes I feel that if I CTB in a gruesome, then people would understand how desperate I was for relief.

The same for me, my mind tends to feel like others wouldn't take me as seriously if I went out with an overdose or something 'peaceful' compared to other methods. If I wasn't so scared of the pain, I'd probably go with stabbing.

 

[sharpiemarker]

I think about slitting my throat too, I often run my blade across it experimentally. Sometimes I feel that if I CTB in a gruesome, then people would understand how desperate I was for relief.

same. i think i have to die in a way that reflects how i suffered. i want people to be able to see it

 

[IDontKnowEverything]

i think i could go for the throat but wouldnt be able to go through with stabbing. but throat slitting feels like not a very reliable method tbh and leaving such a big mess not my cuup of tea

Spoiler: Violent

Recently I watched a video of a girl making an attempt at throat slitting and.. it was difficult to describe.
First of all the sucess rate if that's very low, mostly due to simply being unable to do it..
But that girl tried.
You could see the fat layer across her entire neck and she kept on doing it again and again and again but the video ended and nothing, she ended up alive with a huge wound that is again.. really difficult to put into words.
In any case, want violent? Go for it. But it probably won't work + everything else I tried conveying here.

The same for me, my mind tends to feel like others wouldn't take me as seriously if I went out with an overdose or something 'peaceful' compared to other methods. If I wasn't so scared of the pain, I'd probably go with stabbing.

I have people who I really want them to hurt, but if we are being real the'd laugh about my death over drinks and go on with their lives.
Any revenge that I might want to cast upon anyone will likely be payed tenfold by anyone who'se ever had even a twinge of affection for me.

Spoiler: Also Graphic

I lost count of how many times I fantasised about absolutely letting go of all that is holding me back, shredding my skin to bloody bits that would make a surgeon want to hurl (I apologise to any medical professionals reading this however, truly not against any of you).
And then just before fully bleeding out, to hang myself.
Not even out of revenge, only for the self destructive satisfaction I'd feel to have made a bloody scene.
In any case, way better than being hit by a car or a truck or smth.

However, I really am trying for methods that will hopefully traumatise whoever finds me the least possible in the end.
Once the mask is gone, the truth is that I still simply don't want anyone any harm.

 

[Foolishness]

Recently I watched a video of a girl making an attempt at throat slitting and.. it was difficult to describe.
First of all the sucess rate if that's very low, mostly due to simply being unable to do it..
But that girl tried.
You could see the fat layer across her entire neck and she kept on doing it again and again and again but the video ended and nothing, she ended up alive with a huge wound that is again.. really difficult to put into words.
In any case, want violent? Go for it. But it probably won't work + everything else I tried conveying here.

I have people who I really want them to hurt, but if we are being real the'd laugh about my death over drinks and go on with their lives.
Any revenge that I might want to cast upon anyone will likely be payed tenfold by anyone who'se ever had even a twinge of affection for me.
I lost count of how many times I fantasised about absolutely letting go of all that is holding me back, shredding my skin to bloody bits that would make a surgeon want to hurl (I apologise to any medical professionals reading this however, truly not against any of you).
And then just before fully bleeding out, to hang myself.
Not even out of revenge, only for the self destructive satisfaction I'd feel to have made a bloody scene.
In any case, way better than being hit by a car or a truck or smth.
However, I really am trying for methods that will hopefully traumatise whoever finds me the least possible in the end.
Once the mask is gone, the truth is that I still simply don't want anyone any harm.

I have people who I really want them to hurt, but if we are being real the'd laugh about my death over drinks and go on with their lives.
Any revenge that I might want to cast upon anyone will likely be payed tenfold by anyone who'se ever had even a twinge of affection for me.
I lost count of how many times I fantasised about absolutely letting go of all that is holding me back, shredding my skin to bloody bits that would make a surgeon want to hurl (I apologise to any medical professionals reading this however, truly not against any of you).
And then just before fully bleeding out, to hang myself.
Not even out of revenge, only for the self destructive satisfaction I'd feel to have made a bloody scene.
In any case, way better than being hit by a car or a truck or smth.
However, I really am trying for methods that will hopefully traumatise whoever finds me the least possible in the end.
Once the mask is gone, the truth is that I still simply don't want anyone any harm.

Maybe a warning for such graphic details next time please?

 

[IDontKnowEverything]

Maybe a warning for such graphic details next time please?

I am genuinely SO sorry.
I don't know what got a hold of me to do that, f, really sorry.
Absolutely, not doing that again, never again, fully my mistake.
Thank you for calling me out and yes, I'll be wiser next time, really sorry.