Help Very close to CTB by jumping - how to do the final step and overcome SI?

[Cryptonite]

Hey everybody,

I have a severe spinal disorder. In the last 2 weeks, after 15 months of contemplation, I've been finally able to get to the edge. I've crossed the handrail in three of four attempts and all I needed to do was to let go of my hands. I was drunk and had benzos. But that very last step is so hard. Do you have any tips on how to overcome it?

Thank you very much.

 

[Cryptonite]

Anybody?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry that life brought you top this point. It is such a difficult task to overcome SI and jumping itself is one of the methods that needs to fight the most SI. Why don't you consider other less cruel methods? I doubt that anyone here really knows how toeasily overcome SI but in my opinion it's only possible of one is in total desperation and hopelessness, then it may be relatively easy. I hope you can find peace!

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that those who really know the answer to the question have already left but I think that many of those who succeeded with the jumping method just got so desperate and determined to leave which gave them the courage to overcome the survival instinct, I envy and admire those people.
But anyway it sounds so torturous what you have to endure, it's just so horrible how there's all this endless suffering in existing, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[Cryptonite]

I'm sorry that life brought you top this point. It is such a difficult task to overcome SI and jumping itself is one of the methods that needs to fight the most SI. Why don't you consider other less cruel methods? I doubt that anyone here really knows how toeasily overcome SI but in my opinion it's only possible of one is in total desperation and hopelessness, then it may be relatively easy. I hope you can find peace!

Thank you for your answer. Actually, my previous method of choice was SN (I've got the whole setup), but I switched to jumping because it just somehow feels right to me.

I've been able to overcome everything excluding that final step. I can stay on the other side of the handrails for 10 min, I don't fear it anymore. But that one last step, letting go of hands, this is something I have troubles with.

 

[cscott]

Thank you for your answer. Actually, my previous method of choice was SN (I've got the whole setup), but I switched to jumping because it just somehow feels right to me.

I've been able to overcome everything excluding that final step. I can stay on the other side of the handrails for 10 min, I don't fear it anymore. But that one last step, letting go of hands, this is something I have troubles with.

Maybe just take a deep breath & go for it. Prehaps it's your last stage of just facing the fear..

Remind your self why your doing it, or maybe laugh at the fact that it's all meaningless in the end anyway…

 

[Cryptonite]

Maybe just take a deep breath & go for it. Prehaps it's your last stage of just facing the fear..

Remind your self why your doing it, or maybe laugh at the fact that it's all meaningless in the end anyway…

This is what I tried yesterday, deep breathing and counting 10 to 0 (wanted to jump at 5, as someone recommended). I was drunk and on benzos at the same time. I've also completely lost hope, which, I assume, is a prerequisite for successful CTB.

But still, I don't know to push past the fear, do the very last single step.

 

[cscott]

But that's what I'm kind of saying ur thinking of it .. I guess u kind of gotta just go for it prehaps soon as u get up there no counting .. or if u count remind yourself all the stuff that got you there and then just scream & jump.

I don't know the answer as I myself would like to do the Same & im scared I won't find somewhere high enough for certain death or have the balls to. So that's my best answer

 

[Jezzibell]

This is very difficult to answer. Your method is frightening to me. I'm not sure I could cross the mental divide. I will rely on chemicals but I completely get it that this feels right for you.

 

[Cryptonite]

But that's what I'm kind of saying ur thinking of it .. I guess u kind of gotta just go for it prehaps soon as u get up there no counting .. or if u count remind yourself all the stuff that got you there and then just scream & jump.

I don't know the answer as I myself would like to do the Same & im scared I won't find somewhere high enough for certain death or have the balls to. So that's my best answer

This is what I've been thinking about too actually. No contemplating up there, maybe not even counting. Many people just go and immediately jump, which eliminates any space for unwanted thoughts. I wish I could do this.

 

[Stormy Raine]

I want to apologize also that life has taken you to this point! When I say I understand, it's no cliche, I definitely understand how it feels to be so close. In all my attempts I always just done them very quickly, I didn't wait for days and plan them, they were very spontaneous and all of them failed! The only glimpse of happiness I can remember was the excitement of thinking I was leaving this world and never coming back to this internal pain. I'll say this, killing yourself isn't as easy as it seems, has anyone jumped where you have decided to jump and actually died? Maybe do more research and whatever you decide, I wish you all the best. I'm here if you need to vent or talk

Hey everybody,

I have a severe spinal disorder. In the last 2 weeks, after 15 months of contemplation, I've been finally able to get to the edge. I've crossed the handrail in three of four attempts and all I needed to do was to let go of my hands. I was drunk and had benzos. But that very last step is so hard. Do you have any tips on how to overcome it?

Thank you very much.

Can I suggest a documentary I seen years ago on YouTube called, "The Bridge." This might help you make your decision

 

[Cryptonite]

I want to apologize also that life has taken you to this point! When I say I understand, it's no cliche, I definitely understand how it feels to be so close. In all my attempts I always just done them very quickly, I didn't wait for days and plan them, they were very spontaneous and all of them failed! The only glimpse of happiness I can remember was the excitement of thinking I was leaving this world and never coming back to this internal pain. I'll say this, killing yourself isn't as easy as it seems, has anyone jumped where you have decided to jump and actually died? Maybe do more research and whatever you decide, I wish you all the best. I'm here if you need to vent or talk

Can I suggest a documentary I seen years ago on YouTube called, "The Bridge." This might help you make your decision

Thank you :-) Actually, several people have jumped from the location very recently. So it must be possible.

 

[Cryptonite]

Anybody else?

 

[Cryptonite]

Any other suggestions maybe?

 

[HerculePoirot]

Maybe a blindfold? Not sure it might help

 

[Cryptonite]

Maybe a blindfold? Not sure it might help

It's def worth a try, thanks :-)

 

[Stormy Raine]

Thank you :-) Actually, several people have jumped from the location very recently. So it must be possible.

How are you feeling today? I'm just checking on you, I don't come as much anymore because this site always triggers me

 

[lachrymost]

I don't think I could do it unless it was an accident. Maybe bounce around a little bit and adjust your grip like "whoops, hope I don't fall!"