Venting venting out my love

[encore]

somehow, lately, it's been even more difficult to contain myself despite all the outlets i made. i want you to see it. i want you to know, and this desire won't go away, it cannot be curbed. i want to talk to you again, tell you every little thing that's on my mind and listen to you for hours. i don't care what we even talk about, i just want to feel close again. physically, emotionally, mentally close, as close as we can be, and i really, really wish you felt the same.

it's killing me, because there's no end to it, and it only seems to get stronger and stronger… what an unfair, disgusting life, where such a simple and pure wish still can't be fulfilled. i feel like a wild animal bound by an enclosure, an endless sea stuck in a glass aquarium, a prisoner of my own mind. i hate you sometimes, but i love you even when i hate you, even when i think i might never forgive you, even when i finally get a break from my own mind.

i still haven't decided if this is a curse or a blessing. if i was presented with a choice - to forget you forever, or remember you forever - i honestly don't know what i would pick. selfishly, i want you to remember me, too, because i know i will. for the rest of my pathetic existence.

 

[Require_love]

I have the same feelings for someone. But you know what, people like us are probably just meant to be glossed over, as a footnote. I believe it's just not what I'm meant for on this planet. Maybe I am just an insignificant resource consumer, who knows. Never special enough to love, not special enough to hate, just someone to be glossed over and maybe made fun of when bored.

"Gloss"- that's my personal word of the week.

 

[The Actual Devil]

Love is such a complicated emotion: a blessing when found, a curse when lost. We chase the highs of it while the lows chase us in return. And it comes in so many forms, occasionally blending together.
Just remember, friend, that the way you experience love is valid and there is no "normal," so never feel pressured to compare your feelings to those of others. There is healthy love, though, and I hope that you have it someday, if you don't or haven't already.

 

[StupidCat]

What's his discord id so I can link him to this post.