Vent. When to go

[lanahelp]

I have always been empathetic and a loving family member. After Lyme disease, I lost it all and am now an ogre.

My family is going on a big trip to Mexico to celebrate my mom's 80th. Normally, this would be a greatest event and week. But I know I'm ready to CTB.

The trip is 11/19-26. I don't see
how to go on the trip. How to stay alive. I don't want to be in a psych ward and lose opp to ctb the day before they return so the trip isn't ruined. Unsure how to hide it until Saturday as I'm with them or hold on without support or care the week they are gone. I needed
help long ago but no one believed I was sick. Stay the 2 weeks somehow? Go on the trip somehow? Destroy all and ruin trip and go im the window today I have with N?

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a difficult situation to be in, and it must be so horrific having that disease. The fact that so many diseases exist is one of the reasons as to why I hate life so much. But at least you have the option of N, that does sound like the ideal method to me. I hope that when the time is right for you to leave, you find freedom from all suffering.

 

[jodes2]

If you're not sure, maybe it's better to delay it, it's not something to be rushed. I'm sorry you're leaving us so soon. Sorry you're suffering