FoxSauce
Emotionally unstable like an IKEA table
- Aug 23, 2024
- 1,369
Well i feel as pathetic as l can be.
First off some things happen in my personal life.
Nothing major but didnt make my already depression better. For example I lost my medical insurance. Im filling for a new one. My grandma got sick and I dont want her to die. I wanna leave my job and die
Sh has been worse and I cant see my psychiatrist cuz no insurance. I talked to her and I knew I need more help..
For more context she took my effexor away cuz it was making me hyper and im just with lithium and Buspar and Mirtazapine and idk if its enough.
Im really considering of running away and killing myself but I dont wanna hurt my
family and put more stress onto them.
Im just feel like I have to pretend that everything is alright, fighting my thoughts and just zoning out more than usual and well I have no idea how to go foward im trying not to be as negative but I feel like Im slowly slipping back into a depressive episode.
I havent seen anything yet. Just seeing black dots around my vision (idk if that counts as a hallucination) but idk
I have these thought that I need to die cuz the world is not a good place to be and all people are evil. Being on edge that my coworkers my wanna say things or sabotage me behind my back but im aware thats irrational. I havent expressed in full to anyone not even my mom so I have only here to vent.
I really wanna sh but I have no razors, burning doesnt help and im just tired. I cant go through a dy without crying or at least not bawling.
I dont wanna go back to hospital I already owe 150 from the last one and I dunno how much it is without insurance.
Im trying to fight is hard to see a light in this fogginess. I honestly wich everyday I die in my sleep so my family dont blame themselves.
I have no clue if Im missing something if so please let me know how I can fight this or if I should just give up entirely.
Im trying to rationalize is it exercise , food, idk not drinking enough water not being positive enough.
Please I really need some advice. On insurance im working on that as I speak but I dont know what triggered all of this.
Thank you for reading, is much appreciated
First off some things happen in my personal life.
Nothing major but didnt make my already depression better. For example I lost my medical insurance. Im filling for a new one. My grandma got sick and I dont want her to die. I wanna leave my job and die
Sh has been worse and I cant see my psychiatrist cuz no insurance. I talked to her and I knew I need more help..
For more context she took my effexor away cuz it was making me hyper and im just with lithium and Buspar and Mirtazapine and idk if its enough.
Im really considering of running away and killing myself but I dont wanna hurt my
family and put more stress onto them.
Im just feel like I have to pretend that everything is alright, fighting my thoughts and just zoning out more than usual and well I have no idea how to go foward im trying not to be as negative but I feel like Im slowly slipping back into a depressive episode.
I havent seen anything yet. Just seeing black dots around my vision (idk if that counts as a hallucination) but idk
I have these thought that I need to die cuz the world is not a good place to be and all people are evil. Being on edge that my coworkers my wanna say things or sabotage me behind my back but im aware thats irrational. I havent expressed in full to anyone not even my mom so I have only here to vent.
I really wanna sh but I have no razors, burning doesnt help and im just tired. I cant go through a dy without crying or at least not bawling.
I dont wanna go back to hospital I already owe 150 from the last one and I dunno how much it is without insurance.
Im trying to fight is hard to see a light in this fogginess. I honestly wich everyday I die in my sleep so my family dont blame themselves.
I have no clue if Im missing something if so please let me know how I can fight this or if I should just give up entirely.
Im trying to rationalize is it exercise , food, idk not drinking enough water not being positive enough.
Please I really need some advice. On insurance im working on that as I speak but I dont know what triggered all of this.
Thank you for reading, is much appreciated
