Venting Unsure if I belong here

[SamTam33]

It's not my fault some people refuse any forms of positivity. I'm not gonna become a cultist pro-death fanatic in this echochamber some of you have made yourselves comfortable. Face facts, this is a pro-choice community. Get used to it. I was fucking attacked first. Every time by you god damned ungrateful cultists

Aww... Mr. Positivity is grumpy.

 

[jodes2]

Aww... Mr. Positivity is grumpy.

Damned fucking right you horrible cunt. I'm a human fucking being, being attacked when I only meant well. Shame on you you horrible fucking person. Anyone who attacks someone for trying to be helpful SHOULD be fucking put to death. Get what you want and what you deserve. There. Is that the kind of sentiments you want?

 

[SamTam33]

Damned fucking right you horrible cunt

You're piping hot because I suggested keeping your advice to yourself, so I doubt you'd listen if people included those instructions in each post.

 

[jodes2]

You're piping hot because I suggested keeping your advice to yourself, so I doubt you'd listen if people included those instructions in each post.

I've made a forum suggestion for a no positivity wanted tag so I don't have to bother wasting my effort trying to bring positivity to people who awill just be ungrateful and attack me. Why couldn't one of you aggressive bastards have done that? Too happy to create drama and conflict I imagine. Well I'm not your fucking therapists and I'm not paid to put up with this shit. I'll go and try and help people who deserve it, want it, appreciat it. Now leave me the fuck alone, I have my own problems. Go and sort your own shit. Or kill yourself if that's what you want. I'm beyond caring for miserable cunts

 

[SamTam33]

Damned fucking right you horrible cunt. I'm a human fucking being, being attacked when I only meant well. Shame on you you horrible fucking person. Anyone who attacks someone for trying to be helpful SHOULD be fucking put to death. Get what you want and what you deserve. There. Is that the kind of sentiments you want?

I don't know what your problem is - but I don't think you're the kind, concerned and thoughtful poster you want everyone to believe.

I've made a forum suggestion for a no positivity wanted tag so I don't have to bother wasting my effort trying to bring positivity to people who awill just be ungrateful and attack me. Why couldn't one of you aggressive bastards have done that? Too happy to create drama and conflict I imagine. Well I'm not your fucking therapists and I'm not paid to put up with this shit. I'll go and try and help people who deserve it, want it, appreciat it. Now leave me the fuck alone, I have my own problems. Go and sort your own shit. Or kill yourself if that's what you want. I'm beyond caring for miserable cunts

Okay byeee.

 

[jodes2]

I don't know what your problem is - but I don't think you're the kind, concerned and thoughtful poster you want everyone to believe.

Okay byeee.

Fuck off. I can be kind, but when attacked I'll fucking attack back. Now FUCK OFF

 

[Marcus Wright]

Damned fucking right you horrible cunt. I'm a human fucking being, being attacked when I only meant well. Shame on you you horrible fucking person. Anyone who attacks someone for trying to be helpful SHOULD be fucking put to death. Get what you want and what you deserve. There. Is that the kind of sentiments you want?

The phrase "I only meant well" really didn't come off as genuine if you're going to exhibit unhinged behaviors like agrresively name-calling (e.g. "cunt", "cultist", "fanatic") and suggesting fucking execution to someone who's disagreeing (Attack? Really?) with you, chief .

 

[SamTam33]

Fuck off. I can be kind, but when attacked I'll fucking attack back. Now FUCK OFF

Surely you don't mean that. Maybe instead of attacking back - you should try stretching. Take a few deep breaths and wiggle your hips? There are plenty of things you can do besides attacking. I used to be like you then I started drawing my feelings in pictures and things got better. Do you like to draw? You don't have to be so angry. Things can change with a little positivity.

(I was gonna try to write a wall of suggestions like you do, but there's no way LMAO. Hopefully you still get my drift)

 

[Forever Sleep]

All I wanted was input from other people on the forum about whether or not I should leave.

I am sorry you are feeling uncomfortable here. I'm sorry if I have said anything that has upset you. I think maybe we all tend to give what we like to receive in a way. I suppose I like to feel that there are other people here who feel similar to how I do. I think I have tried to see parallels between how you feel and how I've felt. I may have suggested a few different things. I'm sorry if these have come across as irritating, or undermining- that wasn't my intention.

Regarding this quote though- 'All I wanted was input from other people on the forum about whether or not I should leave.' This personally presents a problem to me. I can't give someone advice on whether they should kill themselves or not- it's a decision ONLY that person can make.

We can and SHOULD be sympathetic to one another's suffering. Still- encouraging someone to actually go through with the act itself is against the rules. The decision HAS to come from the individual.

If I'm honest- the moment an OP starts asking- 'Do you think I should kill myself?' I get very worried. I'd say the answer is actually 'no'. If you feel like you need to ask other people- then- it's clearly not something you feel sure about. Personally, I feel like a person ought to feel sure in their own mind that this is absolutely what they want- and it's the right decision for them before they do it. That's just me though.

 

[looseye]

There is a reason for SaSu being made up of multiple subforums with completely different purposes. This right here, that's the suicide section. It's not recovery. People don't come here to read advice on how they could get better, they come here to talk about how miserable they feel. Toxic positivity is indeed a thing - in fact, in recent times it has become more and more present on this site, which is unfortunate and should not be.

Motivate people to ctb? No. Motivate people to put on a shiny fluffy rainbow filter? Also no, at least in this subforum. There's nothing wrong with giving others comfort (or trying to do so) when they express pain or hopelessness, but if the only thing you're going to do is plaster thread after thread with uwu positive vibes kawaii and leash out when meeting resistance against such a pretentious approach, you may as well just switch to the recovery subforum.

I'm sorry that this happened, OP. Unfortunately us purple people are currently very busy and don't have the capacity to monitor as much of the content on here as at any other time of the year. We are aware of issues like this and are actively discussing measures to prevent the current negative trends from continuing.

As for this matter, the user in question has been given a heavy warning due to repeated incidents like this one.

 

[dw33ter]

Regarding this quote though- 'All I wanted was input from other people on the forum about whether or not I should leave.' This personally presents a problem to me. I can't give someone advice on whether they should kill themselves or not- it's a decision ONLY that person can make.

Forgive me if I'm misunderstanding, but I interpreted "leave" in the original message as "leave the forum", not CTB.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Forgive me if I'm misunderstanding, but I interpreted "leave" in the original message as "leave the forum", not CTB.

Oh no- I'm so sorry- it's me that needs to ask for forgiveness- this may well be what they meant here. SO sorry OP.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry OP that you were treat so badly on here. I believe that you certainly belong on here unlike some people who clearly miss what the point of the forum is in the first place. I think the problem is that some people are under the impression that the suicide discussion is a self help life valuing forum to force toxic positivity onto people and push unsolicited advice onto them, and to me this is harmful and very invalidating. The suicide discussion exists as a place for people to vent or just discuss the subject of suicide without all of the constant positivity that exists everywhere else in this world and it's sad how people are trying to destroy the one place that exists to discuss this subject.

Pro lifers are everywhere in this world, what gives them the right to dominate this place as well, but of course this is just an unfortunate consequence of the world that we exist in, where suicidal people are treated badly everywhere. If someone wanted positive advice they would post in the recovery section or they would go pretty much anywhere else in this pro life society to receive that. Just because one person values life doesn't give them the right to lecture and insult others for not appreciating that point of view, and I believe that people like that just make this world a worse place and create more suffering.

Being realistic towards life and having a dislike towards positivity is not a "cult", sometimes people just wish to either vent or have their feelings validated and respected without someone who cannot experience life the same way trying to force life valuing beliefs on them. And anyway if people see life as being so great and see everything as being able to be "helped" and "fixed", then why are they even on suicide discussions in the first place. I would had thought they would be enjoying life instead. Maybe for people like that the thought of death being preferable to life scares them, so they feel a need to force positivity in an obsessive way rather than trying to understand what others go through instead. But anyway, your feelings are valid OP, I hope that you are able to get what you need out of this site going forward without being made to feel worse.

 

[Disaster]

Giving unsolicited advice is always implying the superiority of the one giving the advice over the one who hasn't asked for them, but will receive them anyway. Giving unsolicited advice is basically suggesting that the person who wanted to vent could get better if only they would shut up and do what they're told by someone who feels entitled to giving unsolicited advice. It isn't positive or nice at all, even if it feels very nice and positive for the one giving the advice.
"Having good intentions" doesn't make the actual actions right, and tons of people who "have good intentions" actually act pretty shitty.
Going into a full temper tantrum because some people in someones opinion "don't deserve" those "good intentions" etc. exposes the actual intentions I guess. There was a hope for a transaction: a person gives unsolicited advice and receives gratitude and appreciation from a distressed, suicidal person. Expecting such transaction to actually take place is in my opinion unreasonable. Helping people in the internet by giving them unsolicited advice, hoping for gratitude and appreciation of those advice, doesn't sound like a viable plan on how to feel better and how to do anything good for other people. But I have enough respect both to myself and to other people to not give anyone unsolicited advice on better methods of boosting ego or doing altruism. It also sounds unlikely to be possible to do both the ego and the altruism thing at the same time

 

[jessisme]

I didn't attack anyone; that's what you did.

I made it abundantly clear what I wanted by tagging that thread as venting and not posting in the recovery section. You are the one who assumed that I wanted someone to tell me a bunch of things that aren't true, and then you attacked me for having the audacity to say that I know myself better than you do. You didn't listen to me when I said numerous times that what you were doing wasn't helping.

This is exactly why I made this thread. I just need to know if I should expect people to listen to me or not. I don't want people like you to just tell me things that most suicidal people would agree are just invalidating to my experiences. If you have an issue with that, then you can just leave me alone and keep your pro-life sentiments to yourself.

It sounds like your issues are more with this individual user rather than the site as a whole. Maybe instead of vilifying the site as a whole you should just take it up with them.

 

[HerculePoirot]

I couldn't read this thread entirely, due to s dodgy connection today. Anyway there is a very useful tool named <IGNORE>, which is precisely there to fix bad experiences like the one you are encountering.

 

[SexyIncél]

I think it's worth articulating what pro-life normies don't seem to understand. And I don't mean to insult anyone on this thread; moderation happened, no more need to be unpleasant

Loud pro-lifers demand I cling onto life -- not live it. Many of them do just that: cling

But being willing to walk away from life gives you a certain power and bravery. Because most of us are trained to be cowards. Since childhood. To reproduce dull evil societies. If you're willing to die, you're likely more willing to stand up and demand respect -- for yourself and others

For me, a century of dullness, working for some corporate/political/school manager, unable to pursue my imagination, isn't worth living. Most want a meaningful, exciting, pleasurable life. With some helpful people around

 

[borderline-feline]

I am sorry you are feeling uncomfortable here. I'm sorry if I have said anything that has upset you. I think maybe we all tend to give what we like to receive in a way. I suppose I like to feel that there are other people here who feel similar to how I do. I think I have tried to see parallels between how you feel and how I've felt. I may have suggested a few different things. I'm sorry if these have come across as irritating, or undermining- that wasn't my intention.

Regarding this quote though- 'All I wanted was input from other people on the forum about whether or not I should leave.' This personally presents a problem to me. I can't give someone advice on whether they should kill themselves or not- it's a decision ONLY that person can make.

We can and SHOULD be sympathetic to one another's suffering. Still- encouraging someone to actually go through with the act itself is against the rules. The decision HAS to come from the individual.

If I'm honest- the moment an OP starts asking- 'Do you think I should kill myself?' I get very worried. I'd say the answer is actually 'no'. If you feel like you need to ask other people- then- it's clearly not something you feel sure about. Personally, I feel like a person ought to feel sure in their own mind that this is absolutely what they want- and it's the right decision for them before they do it. That's just me though.

When I said "leave", I meant whether or not I should leave the forum, not whether or not I should ctb.

It seems that the majority here understand my frustration with toxic positivity, so I'm feeling a lot more welcome now.

I really appreciate how kind and well-articulated you are, as I often have trouble with understanding people due to my disability.

Oh no- I'm so sorry- it's me that needs to ask for forgiveness- this may well be what they meant here. SO sorry OP.

You needn't apologize. It was a simple misunderstanding.

It sounds like your issues are more with this individual user rather than the site as a whole. Maybe instead of vilifying the site as a whole you should just take it up with them.

It wasn't my intention at all to vilify the site as a whole, and I apologize for that.

I was unsure whether or not sentiments like those expressed by that person were commonplace here, and that uncertainty made me feel alienated. I can now say with absolute certainty that I do belong here, as the vast majority of people seem to have the same understanding of the purpose of the Suicide Discussion forum that I do.

 

[Disaster]

Just be ready for all the advice you could get on to where to shove your advice
Seriously if you go around bothering suicidal people for "not being positive" and then you have a temper tantrum because "they are ungrateful", one may think that you may be more unhinged than those suicidal folks, and thus your advice is likely pure, distilled bullshit.

 

[MoonlitNight]

When I started using this forum in December, I thought that this would be a place where I could commiserate with likeminded people and vent about why I want to die until I finally managed to stop being a coward and just catch the bus already. Now I'm not so sure that that's what this place really is. People keep coming to me and offering potential solutions for coping with my pain, even after I've explained ad nauseam that that's not what I need.

I ask for emotional validation because I feel like a bad person, but so much of what I get is just people trying to fix my issues without actually listening to me. I don't want solutions, and I don't want to get better. I figured that people here would understand, but I've even had to deal with an unhinged pro-lifer on this site harassing me and accusing me of not caring about my loved ones, all while telling me that they're trying to help.

I haven't even been here for 2 months, and I've already had so many issues of people blatantly ignoring what I say that I need in a thread, so many issues of people thinking that they know what's best for me, and so many issues of people making the assumption that I want to get better. If I wanted recovery or change, then I wouldn't be on a suicide forum in the first place.

Are things usually like this here? If so, then I may just leave this place since I can't handle a space that I thought was a safe place for me to talk about my problems instead having the toxicity that I came here to get away from. It's not the end of the world if this place isn't for me. On some level, I kind of deserve it for thinking that there was a place where I could actually fit in and not be alienated or isolated.

It hasn't been all bad, but it's so demoralizing and humiliating to have to defend myself against people who won't put in the bare minimum of reading what I say. I'm sorry if I misunderstood what this site is for.

Hello. I see you've got the problem resolved with the staff members now but I'd just like to sneak this in..

Some people do take advice, even after posting in suicide discussion. Really. If you are looking for an audience without wanting positivity. I think it would be better if you added that in your vent too. validating someone's pain doesn't rule out the possibility of suggesting where things can be worked on. Of course it was the person's fault by pushing their ideas and using insensitive wording towards you.

I hope this will be helpful for any future posts. I was about to welcome you to the site but then realized how you've been here much longer than me, haha-
Anyway, Best of luck. hope you find harmony with yourself.