Venting I don’t belong in this world

[Agon321]

Honestly, every day I feel as though I belong somewhere else. I feel a longing and nostalgia for a world that doesn't exist, or exists only in my head. The best moments of my life have taken place in my dreams. I feel a bloody emptiness in my chest.
To be honest, I feel bored with my life and the repetitiveness of every day. Even if I weren't mentally ill, I'd have a similar problem. We live in a world that isn't kind to us. People have created a system that is unhealthy for people. It's ironic, but it suits our species.

If you aren't born into a very good family, then from birth right through to death, stress and sadness await you, with only brief moments of pleasure. But even being born into a very good family doesn't protect you, because there are still many unpleasantries in store for you in life.

I'm only 22 (soon to be 23) and I feel like an old man. The world is slipping through my fingers.
Seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years are passing, and I'm still standing still, with absolutely no fucking idea what the hell I'm supposed to do. I'm tired, very tired. Every choice seems wrong to me, and my own brain is my greatest enemy, destroying me.

I want to escape to a better place, but I know I can't do that and no one's going to come to my rescue, because I'm not living in a film. All that awaits me is stagnation.

I'm already living in hell, and things can only get worse.

 

[iWantToStopExisting]

Bro, i'm ten years older, and i feel like i'm already saw enough. I don't see any reason to continue. Everything that has beginning has an end. Do you have any idea for a painless departure. Like could we organize a trip to Mexico for pentobarbital or somewhere where we could find a gun. I can not do it all by myself, you understand . I could be easily robbed or arrested. Or even change my mind in those last seconds. I mean its better then you are together with someone to support you.
Here some info about me :

A 32 years old failure

I'm 32 years old and i'm a failure. If you weren't studious as a kid, it's over. AI : Permanent Loss of Plasticity: If you do not use your brain during this period, you may miss the chance to build strong, fundamental pathways for skills like emotional regulation, complex logic, or social...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Agon321]

Bro, i'm ten years older, and i feel like i'm already saw enough. I don't see any reason to continue. Everything that has beginning has an end. Do you have any idea for a painless departure. Like could we organize a trip to Mexico for pentobarbital or somewhere where we could find a gun. I can not do it all by myself, you understand . I could be easily robbed or arrested. Or even change my mind in those last seconds. I mean its better then you are together with someone to support you.
Here some info about me :

A 32 years old failure

I'm 32 years old and i'm a failure. If you weren't studious as a kid, it's over. AI : Permanent Loss of Plasticity: If you do not use your brain during this period, you may miss the chance to build strong, fundamental pathways for skills like emotional regulation, complex logic, or social...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Hi, I appreciate your offer, but I don't feel confident enough to go ahead with it. Even if my brain is shit and I'm struggling, I still have a survival instinct (that's one of the reasons I'm still breathing on this bloody planet) and I don't necessarily trust random people on the internet. I want to end it all, but at the same time I don't. That's exactly what I mean, among other things. I'm trapped.

I live in Poland and once I bought SN, anti-nausea medication and a few other things to end it all using SN. I used to post here regularly a while back and kept saying I'd commit suicide soon, but as you can see I'm still here, though I definitely don't feel any better.

I'd like to help you, but I can't even help myself. I struggle to plan even the most basic things, so a trip to Mexico is unimaginable for me, especially as I've never travelled in my life.

A gun would be nice, but in my country it's complicated to get hold of one, and a loser like me with no connections has even more trouble with it.

As I mentioned earlier, I don't know what to do.

 

[iWantToStopExisting]

Poland is very close to Ukraine . Have you thought about purchasing a gun from there. From darknet .I sure they give to their soldiers a suicide pills.
I know some russian, i could help.Did you try?
Bro we are a community here, we should try to organize . Would be more easy for us to achive our goal .

 

[Agon321]

Poland is very close to Ukraine . Have you thought about purchasing a gun from there. From darknet .I sure they give to their soldiers a suicide pills.
I know some russian, i could help.Did you try?
Bro we are a community here, we should try to organize . Would be more easy for us to achive our goal .

No, I haven't tried. I'm sure it's possible, but I don't even know where or how to start looking.
I don't have much money either, and I don't want to be taken in by anyone, but unfortunately I don't know which sources might be reliable.

A gun gives you the freedom of choice, because you can shoot yourself in the head wherever and whenever you want.
In the current situation, the SN is a more realistic option for me, but I don't know what the availability is like at the moment, as I haven't looked into it recently.

 

[RadiantNumber]

Honestly, every day I feel as though I belong somewhere else. I feel a longing and nostalgia for a world that doesn't exist, or exists only in my head. The best moments of my life have taken place in my dreams. I feel a bloody emptiness in my chest.
To be honest, I feel bored with my life and the repetitiveness of every day. Even if I weren't mentally ill, I'd have a similar problem. We live in a world that isn't kind to us. People have created a system that is unhealthy for people. It's ironic, but it suits our species.

If you aren't born into a very good family, then from birth right through to death, stress and sadness await you, with only brief moments of pleasure. But even being born into a very good family doesn't protect you, because there are still many unpleasantries in store for you in life.

I'm only 22 (soon to be 23) and I feel like an old man. The world is slipping through my fingers.
Seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years are passing, and I'm still standing still, with absolutely no fucking idea what the hell I'm supposed to do. I'm tired, very tired. Every choice seems wrong to me, and my own brain is my greatest enemy, destroying me.

I want to escape to a better place, but I know I can't do that and no one's going to come to my rescue, because I'm not living in a film. All that awaits me is stagnation.

I'm already living in hell, and things can only get worse.

I feel you , this world ain't suitable for people but for mindless droness. I am also from Poland if you need to feel free to write