University was such a disappointment

[sonnyw]

I've always loathed school. Between having no friends and being bullied, I thought about CTBing every day. I held onto the hope that university would be the "reset" everyone promised, that those would've been the best years of my life. I even heard it from people who, like me, hated high school but managed to turn everything around in college.

It was all a lie. I hate it even more here. Not only am I still a loner, but I feel like a failure every day because I'm struggling academically while everyone else seems to breeze through. It's going to take me much longer to graduate, if I even make it that far.

I eventually stopped attending lectures. The commute was draining, the professors were awful at teaching (I learn better on my own anyway), and it was soul crushing to watch everyone else socializing and talking about parties while I sat there in total silence.
I tried to be social, but it never stuck. People will talk to you one day and then look right through you the next.

As for the professors, they are some of the most arrogant people I've ever met; they seem to take a twisted pride in failing students just to stroke their own egos.

I actually enjoy the subject matter, but the environment is toxic. My expectations have been completely destroyed.

 

[Pluto]

 

[lpdsvm]

I am not sure. Try using AI. Use it and ask questions. It wont be tired if you say "I don't know" every response.
make sure ai self checks because it makes mistakes.

 

[ethereal_hobo]

I've always loathed school. Between having no friends and being bullied, I thought about CTBing every day. I held onto the hope that university would be the "reset" everyone promised, that those would've been the best years of my life. I even heard it from people who, like me, hated high school but managed to turn everything around in college.

It was all a lie. I hate it even more here. Not only am I still a loner, but I feel like a failure every day because I'm struggling academically while everyone else seems to breeze through. It's going to take me much longer to graduate, if I even make it that far.

I eventually stopped attending lectures. The commute was draining, the professors were awful at teaching (I learn better on my own anyway), and it was soul crushing to watch everyone else socializing and talking about parties while I sat there in total silence.
I tried to be social, but it never stuck. People will talk to you one day and then look right through you the next.

As for the professors, they are some of the most arrogant people I've ever met; they seem to take a twisted pride in failing students just to stroke their own egos.

I actually enjoy the subject matter, but the environment is toxic. My expectations have been completely destroyed.

I'm probably twenty or more years older than you, but I relate to a lot of this. I went to a very small university / college which was actually very good for socialising, and I didn't have long commutes. I can see how commutes would be challenging as I lived in a few different places while there and it was easier to be sociable the closer I lived to the place.

Beforehand I was similarly miserable in school and developed a phobia of exams, which still blights my life to this day. ADHD (undiagnosed and never mentioned by anybody while I was in school, and maybe even university) and many other kinds of problems didn't help either. Although university was a lot better in many ways, which wouldn't be hard, a lot of the same issues arose there. It was different but not THAT different. After I eventually dropped out I tried some part-time and distance-learning stuff but never stuck with it to a great extent. At least I completed a year's distance-learning course but exam phobia (and some related issues) messed me up yet again so my grades weren't great, but whatever.

Although it was a good place for socialising, naturally there were some toxic students and lecturers too, and I didn't know anything about the nature of toxic people back then.

You like the subject matter and are better at learning on your own? Maybe you can get through it that kind of way. Maybe you can get your social needs met better closer to where you live. Hope things get better. I think some universities aren't great for socialising anyway, I remember people in other places talking about that. I guess you could be lucky and find the right club or society, but yeah. There could be similar stuff closer to where you live.