Venting Tried jumping and got caught

[mold]

I seriously can't take it anymore. I went to a big bridge in my city and I was ready to go. Everything felt perfect (besides the weather), the view was great, the height was perfect, no people around, even found an area with a completely empty lot of pavement below me. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, they decided to just... "close" the bridge? And said they said over a speaker that they closed at 8:30 PM (what??).

Obviously this doesn't matter to me, so I stood near the edge, ready to jump, then they started shouting at me through every single speaker on the bridge for every possible person and car to hear, saying things like "please go home" and "please start walking to the exit and go home" on loop. I didn't leave even then, then the lady's voice started saying "please go home before the guards and police come for mandatory inspection" and "the guards are already walking up the bridge" in this sickly nice tone of voice as if she isn't threatening me to leave with potential force. She just kept saying it over the speakers.

I got so embarrassed and honestly scared of what the cops and guards might do that i just dejectedly gave up and left. I feel like an idiot. I have basically 0 motivation or reason to stick around anymore, have no fear of jumping hundreds of feet onto concrete, yet I freak out at the suggestion of cops coming to get me or the embarrassment of the whole bridge knowing I'm still there. I hate myself so much. I should've just done it and swallowed the embarrassment.
(edit: This is a MASSIVE bridge btw. Absolutely huge, like typical big city over water kind of bridge. It's bigger than the Brooklyn AND Manhattan Bridge in NYC. So I genuinely don't understand the concept of "closing" a bridge this large. How unlucky do I have to be?)

 

[hiding the roses]

They most likely used this as a deterrant from getting you to jump. I've never heard of a bridge closing, unless its a major point like the Golden Gate. Public embarassment is very very useful to people who want to "save" the suicidal. Im praying for you!!

 

[mold]

They most likely used this as a deterrant from getting you to jump. I've never heard of a bridge closing, unless its a major point like the Golden Gate. Public embarassment is very very useful to people who want to "save" the suicidal. Im praying for you!!

When I got out it actually did seem to be "closed", they gated up every single entrance and locked them from what I could see, and they put up signs everywhere saying they were closed. I'd be really surprised if they closed the entire place like this just for me, seems like a waste of manpower and effort to shut down such a huge bridge unless there were also other people on other parts of the bridge planning the same as me, lol. It probably was some mandatory inspection I didn't know about and got unlucky.

 

[hiding the roses]

When I got out it actually did seem to be "closed", they gated up every single entrance and locked them from what I could see, and they put up signs everywhere saying they were closed. I'd be really surprised if they closed the entire place like this just for me, seems like a waste of manpower and effort to shut down such a huge bridge unless there were also other people on other parts of the bridge planning the same as me, lol. It probably was some mandatory inspection I didn't know about and got unlucky.

Probably something like that, but maybe youll get lucky another day. Ear plugs may also help you if you want to reach a calmer state before you try to jump

 

[tonicer]

Not sure how religious you are but i think it was sign that your time to go is not yet here.

 

[Aflame5926]

that a wonderfull fail. atleast no side effect aside from being embarresed.

just trying to get a humor out of it. i had multiple attempt but im still here.
you can say i do a bad job succesfully?

just look for the humor in it. that the only way to deal a with it imho

failing is fine even with a little side effect. life goes on regardless

 

[fightclub17]

I think it was God looking out for you. You were saved from a lifetime of misery. Surviving a jump has way too many consequences.