Story Transitioning gave me a sense of self and yet i still wanna die

[_Vasa&Me_]

I might be typing this at a slightly inconvenient time to say the least (considering the messages above me hehe) but just wanted to say that I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME understand why society and people in general cannot accept trans ppl. Like... why cant we just simply acknowledge them, approve of them, and respect them. They aren't animals or some psychos, they don't wanna "convert" you or your children or whatever crap the media says, I just don't get the process inside of one's mind to be like "yes, you are different and I HATE YOU", its their life at the end of the day, you aren't even being impacted smh.

Also one last thing, ur pfp is amazing and really original, extra props for being Eastern European, a real woman, and somehow still alive (huge achievement if your parents are the "traditional" Eastern European types regarding transition and trans ppl in general)

 

[systemic_livestock]

Stop twisting things because you don't want to look at the suicide rates. For someone who's transitioned why are you posting about being suicidal? Oh wait it doesn't solve the issue.

Respectfully, when you yourself prove the statistics I mentioned correct and then have the audacity to insult and belittle me as if you're coming off as anything other than narcissistic, come on who are you fooling? It is a mental illness according to the DSM-5. This isn't meant to be belittling or condescending. I'm trusting the science and I'm also trusting the statistics while navigating what I think is right for me. That doesn't mean I have the intelligence of a child and that doesn't mean I'm any less correct. You need to stop bullying people on here for real.

When people disagree with you you discredit them and you slander them as misinformed. You have a unconscious bias and I will be the first to say that you feel that transitioning has helped you stay alive thus far. So I will take that as fact because it's your experience.

But, me and several other people on here have told you we don't feel the same and that we feel romanticizing this metamorphosis as some sort of catharsis for the pain and anxiety and self-loathing that we feel on a daily is unrealistic for us.

If you have to discredit me as a person and slap labels on me such as "weird ass rapper" then you've already lost the argument. Clearly I admit I'm still trying to find something that works for me. But say I was to plan to transition... I can look at you and see my future and see that it is not the solution to my problem and it is what is known as an axiom. It is self-evident. So instead, I will pursue a route that might actually work instead of dozens of surgeries just to feel like something that biologically I have not been blessed to have.
Also I never said I lived as a drag queen. You keep twisting that as if it's discrediting me.
Learn to read.

"For someone who's transitioned why are you posting about being suicidal?" Expressly speaking ive noted that transitioning has kept me alive this long as well as that and of note you have gender dysphoria too wouldn't that also and yet haven't transitioned doesn't that prove that being a repper also makes you sucidal by your logic?

"have the audacity to insult and belittle me as if you're coming off as anything other than narcissistic" LMAO, you said I was disfiguring myself and implied I was ugly/ will never pass, dude how does somone of your maturity level exist in the world? Please grow up, or if your under 18 (which seems highly likely) get off the site and stay in school.

"When people disagree with you you discredit them and you slander them as misinformed." Yes I do infact discredit people when their very obviously wrong. I don't need to slander you as misinformed because fundamentally you are misinformed. I have never called you misinformed the fact your offended by something I never said shows more about yourself than me.

"we feel romanticizing this metamorphosis as some sort of catharsis for the pain and anxiety" obviously not everyone is gonna have the same experience especially when they are not considered conventionally attractive or pass by soicaital standards but fundamentally speaking taking hrt in this front especially when younger can help one pass and become conventionally attractive. I'm sorry you had such a poor experience but at the same time you might quoting these people you talk about?


"If you have to discredit me as a person and slap labels on me such as "weird ass rapper" then you've already lost the argument." I tell no lies and infact normally when somone losses an argument you dont need tell them or state as such because its obvious. Imagine if you went to class and your teacher was like "I'm actually a really smart person" you'd be doubting their abilities after that because actually smart people don't need to go around telling others their smart its obvious. The same goes with your argument. Telling me you're right implies quite the opposite.

What in the world is axiom?

"

It doesn't help to transition because society will never perceive you the way you want them to perceive you. You're creating another set of problems in which you're attempting to start from zero, but so many people know just by looking at you that you used to be a male. Without the social validation and always knowing in the back of your mind that you are not naturally the gender you want to be it's always going to have you at odds. I did a test where I pretended to be someone else with a whole new backstory for a year with different likes and dislikes and hung out with drag queens and went to the shows and really, I think people perceiving it as a solution versus a lifestyle choice. You can choose to be a trans woman or a trans man, but you cannot expect one single person to ever see you as your preferred gender. I'm not trying to upset anyone here. All I'm saying is for me it does not work and it only causes me to feel like I'm not enough and it doesn't relieve any stress. I feel like it just makes me romanticize this ideal self that isn't obtainable with the frame I'm born in. And I think that's the hardest thing to accept is that we will never be quote unquote beautiful at least that's the conclusion I came to.

A drastic anesthetic change that drastically changes the way your body works but doesn't change the way people perceive you doesn't make any sense to me when actually talking with people who've been through it. A lot of people regret it and I've lost two friends to suicide because it was not the solution for them.

"Also I never said I lived as a drag queen. You keep twisting that as if it's discrediting me. Learn to read."

Genuinely speaking yes or no did you say the text below?
"I pretended to be someone else with a whole new backstory for a year with different likes and dislikes and hung out with drag queens and went to the shows"

With all do respect I will state this again, you have very right to be a repper its your life but you keep telling me about it and it's really annoying and frankly your also just a dick about it I actually don't care, just as I was alot better off after transitioning you can be better off being a repper all though i strongly advise again it its your life. its strange how you always avoid every question I ask about whether you are not 18. I get the impression you are under 18 and should not be on the site. As well just please chill out man your probly young as shit you still have time to turn things around.

 

[systemic_livestock]

I might be typing this at a slightly inconvenient time to say the least (considering the messages above me hehe) but just wanted to say that I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME understand why society and people in general cannot accept trans ppl. Like... why cant we just simply acknowledge them, approve of them, and respect them. They aren't animals or some psychos, they don't wanna "convert" you or your children or whatever crap the media says, I just don't get the process inside of one's mind to be like "yes, you are different and I HATE YOU", its their life at the end of the day, you aren't even being impacted smh.

Also one last thing, ur pfp is amazing and really original, extra props for being Eastern European, a real woman, and somehow still alive (huge achievement if your parents are the "traditional" Eastern European types regarding transition and trans ppl in general)

thankyou so much for saying this stranger you have a good heart. Also I'm not eastern European but some other person in the thread is. I really appreciate your kind words I hope you find peace be it death or recovery.

 

[_Vasa&Me_]

It is a mental illness according to the DSM-5.

DSM-1 also classified homosexuality as a mental disorder back in the day so... besides, it seeks to "treat" it first and foremost, so you know, confirm it for themselves and not make it be a split identity, instead of "de-trans-ifying" them or whatever

I also think what is considered a disorder or not is really what the society perceives as the norm or not (not for all of them of course, but there are a couple) so I wont be shocked that in the future gender dysphoria will be an accepted norm, such as some moment of sadness, could be in 10 years, or 50, but it can happen.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

I might be typing this at a slightly inconvenient time to say the least (considering the messages above me hehe) but just wanted to say that I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME understand why society and people in general cannot accept trans ppl. Like... why cant we just simply acknowledge them, approve of them, and respect them. They aren't animals or some psychos, they don't wanna "convert" you or your children or whatever crap the media says, I just don't get the process inside of one's mind to be like "yes, you are different and I HATE YOU", its their life at the end of the day, you aren't even being impacted smh.

Also one last thing, ur pfp is amazing and really original, extra props for being Eastern European, a real woman, and somehow still alive (huge achievement if your parents are the "traditional" Eastern European types regarding transition and trans ppl in general)

Honestly people like Lily Tino really aren't helping trans rights at all if anything they're being a poor representation that's been cast out into the public eye.

"For someone who's transitioned why are you posting about being suicidal?" Expressly speaking ive noted that transitioning has kept me alive this long as well as that and of note you have gender dysphoria too wouldn't that also and yet haven't transitioned doesn't that prove that being a repper also makes you sucidal by your logic?

"have the audacity to insult and belittle me as if you're coming off as anything other than narcissistic" LMAO, you said I was disfiguring myself and implied I was ugly/ will never pass, dude how does somone of your maturity level exist in the world? Please grow up, or if your under 18 (which seems highly likely) get off the site and stay in school.

"When people disagree with you you discredit them and you slander them as misinformed." Yes I do infact discredit people when their very obviously wrong. I don't need to slander you as misinformed because fundamentally you are misinformed. I have never called you misinformed the fact your offended by something I never said shows more about yourself than me.

"we feel romanticizing this metamorphosis as some sort of catharsis for the pain and anxiety" obviously not everyone is gonna have the same experience especially when they are not considered conventionally attractive or pass by soicaital standards but fundamentally speaking taking hrt in this front especially when younger can help one pass and become conventionally attractive. I'm sorry you had such a poor experience but at the same time you might quoting these people you talk about?


"If you have to discredit me as a person and slap labels on me such as "weird ass rapper" then you've already lost the argument." I tell no lies and infact normally when somone losses an argument you dont need tell them or state as such because its obvious. Imagine if you went to class and your teacher was like "I'm actually a really smart person" you'd be doubting their abilities after that because actually smart people don't need to go around telling others their smart its obvious. The same goes with your argument. Telling me you're right implies quite the opposite.

What in the world is axiom?

"


"Also I never said I lived as a drag queen. You keep twisting that as if it's discrediting me. Learn to read."

Genuinely speaking yes or no did you say the text below?
"I pretended to be someone else with a whole new backstory for a year with different likes and dislikes and hung out with drag queens and went to the shows"

With all do respect I will state this again, you have very right to be a repper its your life but you keep telling me about it and it's really annoying and frankly your also just a dick about it I actually don't care, just as I was alot better off after transitioning you can be better off being a repper all though i strongly advise again it its your life. its strange how you always avoid every question I ask about whether you are not 18. I get the impression you are under 18 and should not be on the site. As well just please chill out man your probly young as shit you still have time to turn things around.

I'm sorry are you still complaining about me? I'm not going to entertain your long tangents anymore. You're willfully ignorant of facts and you're publicly disrespectful. I'm willing to bet you wouldn't talk like this to people in person, so I'm going to ignore you like the little attention seeker you're being. Complain, report, whatever. I know reality.

DSM-1 also classified homosexuality as a mental disorder back in the day so... besides, it seeks to "treat" it first and foremost, so you know, confirm it for themselves and not make it be a split identity, instead of "de-trans-ifying" them or whatever

I also think what is considered a disorder or not is really what the society perceives as the norm or not (not for all of them of course, but there are a couple) so I wont be shocked that in the future gender dysphoria will be an accepted norm, such as some moment of sadness, could be in 10 years, or 50, but it can happen.

I think that my gender dysphoria is a mental disorder. It's classified as one and while I completely get what you're saying about homosexuality once being considered a mental disorder, there's homosexual behavior in animals. There were a lot of things that disputed the classification. I'm not trying to even label gender dysphoria as a mental illness so much as I'm saying that MY gender dysphoria is a mental illness. I'm not saying that people shouldn't transition because if it makes them happy then they should. I don't think it's a realistic solution to my internal problem. Therein lies the difference.

 

[systemic_livestock]

Honestly people like Lily Tino really aren't helping trans rights at all if anything they're being a poor representation that's been cast out into the public eye.

Yeaj honestly your so right, its like normally i wouldn't care if your ugly or not, but shes so fucking un-self aware when you look that ugly you'd think you'd stop making those retarded ass faces and maby stop posting yourself online so much around restrooms, I'm convinced she was a humiliation fedish. Actual troonjack fuel, the chuds are having a field day LMAO.

Honestly people like Lily Tino really aren't helping trans rights at all if anything they're being a poor representation that's been cast out into the public eye.

I'm sorry are you still complaining about me? I'm not going to entertain your long tangents anymore. You're willfully ignorant of facts and you're publicly disrespectful. I'm willing to bet you wouldn't talk like this to people in person, so I'm going to ignore you like the little attention seeker you're being. Complain, report, whatever. I know reality.

I think that my gender dysphoria is a mental disorder. It's classified as one and while I completely get what you're saying about homosexuality once being considered a mental disorder, there's homosexual behavior in animals. There were a lot of things that disputed the classification. I'm not trying to even label gender dysphoria as a mental illness so much as I'm saying that MY gender dysphoria is a mental illness. I'm not saying that people shouldn't transition because if it makes them happy then they should. I don't think it's a realistic solution to my internal problem. Therein lies the difference.

"I think that my gender dysphoria is a mental disorder. It's classified as one" i swear to god its not i have no idea why your conviced it is, its completely natural your not harming anyone in the slightest if anything your obsessed with harming yourself by saying the most outlandish self hating shit. No reputable doctor is saying any of that shit anymore its literally all crap they used to say when the soviet union was still around. You can claim yourself mentally ill i have no idea what other inesses you might have but I know for a fact your not mentally ill for your gd you're perfect the way you are in this sense.


"I'm sorry are you still complaining about me? I'm not going to entertain your long tangents anymore. You're willfully ignorant of facts and you're publicly disrespectful."
Yes I am because your saying all this weird crap In MY THREAD, I swear to god your so weird just make your own. Your ideas aren't backed up by anything I tell you shit and you cover your ears your so obsessed with self hate and being a repper.

 

[_Vasa&Me_]

I think that my gender dysphoria is a mental disorder. It's classified as one and while I completely get what you're saying about homosexuality once being considered a mental disorder, there's homosexual behavior in animals. There were a lot of things that disputed the classification. I'm not trying to even label gender dysphoria as a mental illness so much as I'm saying that MY gender dysphoria is a mental illness. I'm not saying that people shouldn't transition because if it makes them happy then they should. I don't think it's a realistic solution to my internal problem. Therein lies the difference.

Thank you for the clarification. Only you know yourself best so if you see it that way, so be it, thats how it is.

I will say tho, it is sad that we live in a world where people (some people, not all) such as yourself, despite wanting to, understand that their dysphoria will never be "treated" in a way where they will internally accept themselves as well as people accept them from the outside that they have to reject it all and see it as a disorder instead (which in this case it is, but one would wish it wasn't)

It really puts it into perspective that people really are fortunate to have the gender and sex they want right from birth. Like I never questioned being someone else other than a man, I always saw myself as one, heck I like men a little too much hehe (gay)