Top worst moments of your life?

[lotus11]

What are the top few worst things that have happened to you in your life?

 

[Life_and_Death]

that list is waaaaaay too long XD XD XD

 

[kawaiiphantom]

I feel kind of insecure about saying them as they're very personal and traumatic to me. I know people here wouldn't judge but I'm scared. Im sorry I hope it's okay to talk about, but probably
- witnessing my dad beating up my mom when he got drunk
- being SA'd by my ex
- living in a hoarder house for a while when I was a minor, there was a big hole in the kitchen floor that you could see the ground underneath the house through, there was also spiders EVERYWHERE, and no matter how hard they tried to get rid of them they always came back. There was also mice running around that lived in the ceilings.
- being bullied by my Ex's brother and his girlfriend, they would get mad over the littlest things, turned off the wifi so we couldn't use it, threw my drawings into the cats litter box and called me a bitch just for existing

There's a lot more but I don't think I can handle talking about them right now

 

[Darkover]

leaving school with no gcses

getting dumped at 18 after a 2 and half years relationship broke my heart I never did recover not had a relationship for 20 years

going to jail for something I didn't do for 2 months when I was 18 had my 19th birthday in prison

getting diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 18

dislocated my shoulder when I was 18 never did go to the hospital it's dislocated 10 times so far

my teeth started to decay at 19 my parents never took me to the dentist, i found out in jail that i had 22 cavities in my teeth

taking a paracetamol overdose in my early 20s led to a damaged stomach lining, i have to drink milk all the time to settle my stomach

at age 30 i got tinnitus and a brain injury from prolonged headphone use

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

i try not to think about them. even if i did, it won't be as horrible as what many of you have gone through

 

[divinemistress87]

The night my neck was snapped and the artery was torn by a drunk doctor which lead to me having a stroke that night

 

[sserafim]

Too many to count

 

[Praestat_Mori]

The worst moment in my life was, when I realized, that recovery from my big failure isn't possible anymore. Everything failed and there is no way to get out of this shit anymore. Recovery mission impossible.

There were several other worst moments in the past years. In particular, each time when I tried to get out of this shit and it failed again.

 

[Hunter2005]

Being born from there it was pure darkness, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

 

[Eternal Eyes]

Two stick out, both in the same awful year.

1. Getting broken up with by text. Now to be honest, I knew it was coming, we discussed breaking up a few weeks before, I was ready for that. But it's the time it happened. I was in this godawful training thing on a shipping port....a port...on a December morning. Message received at 6am, working at 8am. On a freezing, cold seaside dock, in a deprived town on a december morning with absolutely nothing to live for.

2. Seeing my once best mate get arrested after he stupidly got in a fight with a bus driver. Bus driver claimed he was lying about his age, and he just lost it. In the end he never cleaned up his act, and he was eventually jailed. I haven't seen him for years now, and have very little interest in seeing him again.

Been some bad stuff since, but it's felt much less personal than those two incidents. Bonus point for when someone in a full classroom stated I should "hurry up and kill myself", although I look back on that with a slight macabre humour to it.

 

[heisenberg]

when i told my parents i OD'ed and needed to go the hospital. i sat on the couch as my mom got dressed my stepdad went over to me and asked me "what is wrong with you?"
i was 15

 

[sserafim]

Being born from there it was pure darkness, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

Do you have memories of the womb/pre-birth memories?

at age 30 i got tinnitus and a brain injury from prolonged headphone use

Sorry to hear that. What kind of headphones?

 

[Hunter2005]

Do you have memories of the womb/pre-birth memories?

No I don't

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Botched dental surgery in 2013 leaving me with chronic mouth pain.

Diagnosed with two serious chronic illnesses - 2017.

Treatment for chronic illness makes me permanently worse - 2018.

Treatment for chronic illness makes me permanently worse - 2020

Diagnosed with third serious chronic illness - 2023

Over the years i've lost my career, a lot of my friends, my independence, my sense of self, etc.

 

[Darkover]

Sorry to hear that. What kind of headphones?

I was addicted to smoking weed everyday for 2 years straight and listening to music with headphones on caused me a lot of damage
these headphones in the picture

 

[Henryk]

I honestly didn't go through specific moments like many here, I even wonder if I have real reasons for wanting the CTB. The truth is that I have lived with my depression forever. I come from a complicated family where my father was extremely authoritarian and whenever he could he belittled and insulted me in every possible way. At school, for a long time I was the strange, quiet boy that everyone made fun of, but then I somehow managed to reverse the situation and become friends with everyone. At the age of 16 I went into an alcoholic coma after drinking half a bottle of vodica and I felt like shit for several years, during this period I didn't leave the house anymore and I moved away from all my "friends". Furthermore, my father started to pressure me to find a job because otherwise he would throw me out of the house, perhaps this was one of the lowest points for me. But after all this I found the person who changed my life, a girl who gave me reason to continue. I spent 9 years with her, everything was very incredible, of course the depression and the desire to die hadn't gone away but certainly because of her I had some hope in myself. It turns out that like everything in my life, in the end I messed up everything to the point that I was hurting her more than doing any good. Today I have nothing left, I drink almost every day to try to forget my problems but the truth is that this no longer works. I have no reason or anyone to fight for, I live without any hope with a gigantic void in my chest that honestly can no longer be filled. While some friends dedicate their lives to their jobs and future dreams, I have been dedicating myself these last few years to my CTB plan. It's a life without major traumas but it's certainly a sad and empty life

 

[FuneralCry]

The fact that I was so harmfully forced into existence in the first place, procreation has to be the worst to me as it's the ultimate source of all suffering after all. I see procreation as such a horrible, disgusting crime, it disturbs me how humans so cruelly decide to procreate even know there is literally no limit as to how much agony one can feel as long as they exist here, existence itself certainly is the true problem.
To me procreation will always be a terrible tragedy, it's tragic how humans create so much harm and unnecessary suffering by forcing life here.

 

[strangelife]

2021 2 months in hospitals whit neurological illness, then 2,5 perfect life.
3 month ago illness , and now it is so bad, that I lost the sense of life

 

[F@#$]

Every fuckin day.

 

[Guy Smiley]

I come from a complicated family where my father was extremely authoritarian and whenever he could he belittled and insulted me in every possible way.

I would say that's a major trauma. Perhaps no one single thing he said was a major trauma, but repeated and frequent verbal abuse over the course of your entire childhood and adolescence definitely could be seen as a major trauma.

 

[Malaria]

- I was molested, raped, and hit by my ex boyfriend
- That same ex boyfriend manipulated me and convinced me to get into fights with my mother, my relationship with my mother still has a lot of turmoil because of the fights he caused me to have with her
- My biological father beat me and tried to kill me and my mother when I was a small child, he also abandoned and neglected me
- I was bullied at school
- Physical, verbal, and emotional abuse from step-dad and his mother
- Repeated cycles of toxic friendships, where they would take advantage of me, or just turn out to be terrible people
- Being involuntarily hospitalized twice and having one experience of being sexually assaulted there
- Having tons and tons of mental disorders
- Being sexually assaulted and preyed on by older men when I was 13-14
- Being a latchkey child from age 11-17 with no adult supervision and unrestricted internet access

 

[SVEN]

Birth ?

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

Being locked away after an attempt to ctb against my will. Staff screaming at me at the psych ward that I just wanted to get out to ctb and not because I was legitimately afraid of being locked in.

Coming out as trans and my father yelling at me. I was so down that I told him I'd ctb if he didn't leave my room which I totally would've done if my mother hadn't intervened. Since my dad didn't want to leave the room and continued screaming at me she dragged him out by force. There was also one time where he tried to get me drunk so I'd admit I faked being trans and I had to drag him up the stairs because he was out of it. Also he screamed at me over the phone once that I wasn't allowed to ever come back because of me being trans. I'll never forget that. However the situation I described first was the most impactful one. Every sympathy I had left for him died that day.

 

[Mr.Tristesse]

Psych hospital

The peak period of my chronic ailment

 

[Lost Impact]

-Being SA'd by a family member as a child that went on for what felt like a year
-almost getting killed by my uncle at a family celebration when he took out a gun on all of us and my dad and his brother had to fight him off (this shit didn't feel real at all)
-getting in a fight with a family member while they were drunk and they tried to choke me out
-Being bullied so hard I tried to scratch my face off, had rocks and chalkboard erasers thrown at me in front of teachers too
-Being bullied more later on that I stabbed myself in front of my classmates which only made them bully me more
-Transferring schools bcus of said bullying and then dropping out bcus I couldn't keep up academically
-Being homeless as a child more than once
-getting kidnapped by my own dad
-my step-dad passing away from cancer right when he was trying to turn his life around
-ex-friends trying to convince ppl I was the abuser in the situation bcus who could ever believe a crazy person? taking advantage of the fact I'm easily influenced and using it against me
-being stalked by said ex-friends to this day
-second psych ward stay
-before getting top denture and dealing with agonising teeth pain since childhood
-one of my exes guilting me and manipulating me about not wanting to have sex with them and putting my family at risk of covid by visiting and then when we broke up tried to say i was taking advantage of them and i put them at risk when I told them not to come here and they said over and over they didn't care
-losing many pets
-my (different) step-dad pushing me off a boat
-being abused emotionally, physically, and sexually by women that has confused my gender and sexuality bcus I feel invalidated when the majority of abuse came from women and not men
-growing up with drug addicts
-being arrested for being a danger to myself

 

[JordanF]

Worst even that ever happened was my mom getting hospitalized for schizophrenia after yelling that someone was trying to kill me. I was about 11 years old and I remember her jumping onto the countertop at McDonalds screaming at the top of her lungs about the guy trying to do witchcraft on me. After that, my mental health spiraled and I had a hallucination and I became convinced there was a demon in the house.

Recently (less than a year ago), I started feeling pain in my ears when there was noise, and it was excruciating. I lived with it for 6 months and then I realized that it was all in my head and caused by anxiety, but I am still super sensitive around noises. That period when I was living in fear of noises was terrible, I couldn't even go outside and I had to talk in whispers to my family while using earplugs.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

- Losing my father figure to suicide
- My dog dying in front of me
- Childhood abuse
- My mental health not being believed by the psychiatrist
- Watching a S/A on a female support worker and being powerless
- Losing my entire support system