Tonight *finally* I'm going to drink SN - dunno if it's going to work

[S like Siren]

No. But I need a little more time, I also drunk water.

Tomorrow morning, tops.

I'm very sorry for what are you going through...i would like to hug you...die should be a moment of peace and relief and this is what i wish you

 

[Freakazette]

I may not have enough SN now for a second try with back-ups... Since I've mixed those glasses already... Geez!

Update: I still have

 

[ClairyFairy]

How are you feeling today

 

[Freakazette]

I believe I will take the SN in less than an hour but I won't be able to tell what I'm experiencing, I don't have the energy...

In case I come back or someone is using my account, then something happen.

 

[hʚll]

hugs @Freakazette
i wish you peace and freedom<3

 

[aminend]

I wish u luck

 

[logan]

If you're in such a bad way or don't have enough SN left, then it's better not to do it - not that a failed attempt will make things even worse ...

 

[Pen>Sword]

I may not have enough SN now for a second try with back-ups... Since I've mixed those glasses already... Geez!

Update: I still have

Are you doing it today

I believe I will take the SN in less than an hour but I won't be able to tell what I'm experiencing, I don't have the energy...

In case I come back or someone is using my account, then something happen.

I'm hoping for the best for you, whatever it is. I hope you find peace.

 

[Freakazette]

U took sn or not???

Yes.

 

[BloodyNobody]

I'm sorry it's come to this, I wish you a peaceful and painless passing

 

[GoneAndForgotten]

Yes.

I'm so sorry I hope you are able to find peace

 

[Freakazette]

My heart is beating really fast
Throat is burning

 

[MAA Ke pass]

My heart is beating really fast
Throat is burning

Hope u find peace and heaven that u deserves

 

[GoneAndForgotten]

My heart is beating really fast
Throat is burning

It'll be okay we're here for you. Get help if you need it, it'll all be okay

 

[zzz]

Good luck, wish you a painless passing.

 

[Smily]

I hope it went the way you wished, OP. Rest in peace

 

[RealLostSoul]

I think OP is deceased now. RIP.

 

[Freelyffe88]

I just read through this entire thread and no one was pressuring her. Some of these recent comments on here are insinuating that people were drooling at the mouth for her to do it... Read the comments... it's simply not true. It seems like virtually everyone on the thread cares about and is concerned for her. She's asking a shit load of questions and people are responding to her and trying to answer her questions. No one's pressuring her.

The closest comments that I came across that could be mildly construed as... I don't even have a word for it since it's not that bad, but not that ideal either and that's comments along the lines of... Did you do it yet? Did you drink it? But in the context of what's going on... she keeps giving the impression as though she's about to do it. I personally wouldn't ask... did you do it yet? But they could be asking out of concern; they may have advice or a comment for her if she hasn't done it yet; Maybe they want to try and talk her out of it. Who knows?
If you can find a comment that was "pressuring" her, quote it and put it below.... I'm curious if there even is one.
But lets just say that there is... that's one person on a thread with dozens of people who are assisting her with her questions and just being there for her.

 

[Freelyffe88]

At 2:35 someone asked if Freakazette had taken the SN and she said yes.
At 3:02 Freakazette said
"My heart is beating really fast
Throat is burning"

If she had taken it sometime before 2:35, she would be feeling the throat burning effects almost immediately and the shit would be hitting the fan within 10 minutes. And given that she's been commenting on every single action, thought, worry, question throughout this thread… I find it weird that she didn't announce - I just drank the SN and this is what I'm feeling. Someone asked her if she had taken it and she just said yes, then nearly 30 minutes later she comments about her throat burning and heart racing?

I guess what I'm saying is, this is a very unusual thread and I don't know what to make of it. I went through Freakazette's prior comments back when she joined the site and her journey on the site seems relatively legit… but she did go through a similar process a month ago (it's a very odd process, I really don't know how to categorize it) in a thread of hers titled "Today I'm going to use SN". Then she pretty much drops off the site for a month (aside from a comment on July 2nd), now this thread. Either way, I wish her the best with whatever choice she makes or has made. I care and am thinking of her and I'm sure everyone on this thread agrees… I'm just very confused and don't know what to make of this thread.

 

[MAA Ke pass]

At 2:35 someone asked if Freakazette had taken the SN and she said yes.
At 3:02 Freakazette said
"My heart is beating really fast
Throat is burning"

If she had taken it sometime before 2:35, she would be feeling the throat burning effects almost immediately and the shit would be hitting the fan within 10 minutes. And given that she's been commenting on every single action, thought, worry, question throughout this thread… I find it weird that she didn't announce - I just drank the SN and this is what I'm feeling. Someone asked her if she had taken it and she just said yes, then nearly 30 minutes later she comments about her throat burning and heart racing?

I guess what I'm saying is, this is a very unusual thread and I don't know what to make of it. I went through Freakazette's prior comments back when she joined the site and her journey on the site seems relatively legit… but she did go through a similar process a month ago (it's a very odd process, I really don't know how to categorize it) in a thread of hers titled "Today I'm going to use SN". Then she pretty much drops off the site for a month (aside from a comment on July 2nd), now this thread. Either way, I wish her the best with whatever choice she makes or has made. I care and am thinking of her and I'm sure everyone on this thread agrees… I'm just very confused and don't know what to make of this thread.

Same confusion arises in my mind bcoz I asked that question from her at 2:35

 

[hahabye]

To put it in context. Freakazette on numerous occasions insists that she wants to die... "I want to die! I need this. That's why I'm afraid of failing so much." Then in the same message she proceeds to say that "I don't have the courage, I'm such a coward."
So in that context someone responds with, "Hope u will get courage to do it". This is not pressuring her... they are feeding off of the information that she is giving them. She is the one saying that she wants to die and is hoping to work up the courage to actually do it.

I think I can respond to this from a very relevant perspective: I'm dying in 4.5 hours. And from that perspective, I think that saying "Hope u will be able and have courage to do it" can definitely be seen as pressuring, depending on the kind of person you are. If, for instance, a person relies too strongly on what other people are saying, anything but ensuring that that person can still go back and choose not to take the final step, can be seen as pressure.

I think it's important to keep in mind that people's sensitivity levels vary dramatically. And we cannot assume how sensitive the OP is based on just the posts she's made on this forum.


That being said, I think it is pointless to argue about what the OP might have or might have not experienced. If anything, this might make her feel even worse.

So @Freakazette, I hope you're okay, whether you're still with us or not.

 

[littlelungs]

I was heavily debating on even posting anything at all here because this is naturally an extremely serious and sensitive topic, but...

OP and I talked at length before all of this went down, and despite her anxieties about the method (which seemed to extend to every single method across the board), she insisted that this was what she really wanted, despite me (and what also appears to be the majority of users in this thread) strongly encouraging her to wait if she was in the position to do so. She was adamant that she wanted to go, and said that she was ultimately afraid of the attempt not being lethal and being even worse off than before, and thus not being able to try again in the future, which is completely understandable. (This is all stuff that she talked about publicly on here as well, which is the only reason why I'm sharing any of this.)

At the same time, she seemed to have put a lot of pressure on herself and I admit that there were a few comments in this thread that made me feel a little bit uncomfortable... but I'll leave it at that.

All I could really do was be there for emotional support, regardless of what she ultimately decided to do. There was only so much I could say, but I still wish I could have done or said more to help her feel a little better, even though I don't even know what else I possibly could have done. These kinds of situations can be extremely tricky to navigate, and most of us here are already very vulnerable in our own ways... all we can really do at the end of the day is be there for each other in the best way that we know how/are capable of, whilst still respecting each other's personal choices, autonomy and boundaries.

I don't even really know what I'm getting at, to be honest, and this post is already long, but I just want to say that OP was a wonderful person with a pure heart, and she deserved a much better life than the one she was given. I hope that no matter what happened, she is/was able to finally get the peace that she longed for so badly. I will never forget her.

 

[Freelyffe88]

I think I can respond to this from a very relevant perspective: I'm dying in 4.5 hours. And from that perspective, I think that saying "Hope u will be able and have courage to do it" can definitely be seen as pressuring, depending on the kind of person you are. If, for instance, a person relies too strongly on what other people are saying, anything but ensuring that that person can still go back and choose not to take the final step, can be seen as pressure.

I think it's important to keep in mind that people's sensitivity levels vary dramatically. And we cannot assume how sensitive the OP is based on just the posts she's made on this forum.


That being said, I think it is pointless to argue about what the OP might have or might have not experienced. If anything, this might make her feel even worse.

So @Freakazette, I hope you're okay, whether you're still with us or not.

At no point in the conversation did she say dying in 4.5 hours followed by a response of of "hope you will be able and have courage to do it". She never even said that... way to build yourself a strawman. And in theory even if she had said that, you still have to take the context of the entire conversation into account.

Lastly - the process of suicide is typically if not always very extensive. The steps that one typically goes through from the time they decide they want to commit suicide to getting to the point of carrying out the act is extremely extensive. In this instance it's someone who researched methods, decided on a method, learned about that method, purchased what they need for that method and are now in the process of potentially carrying out the act. It is so goddamn condescending to insinuate that someone doesn't have the autonomy/intelligence to make such a decision for themselves and the notion that they would come on a forum and be pressured to commit a suicidal act, when there is so much thought that goes into such a thing, is so offensive.
Should the internet be illegal, so that no one is coerced into negative thoughts by others? Should human beings not have the right to analyze information and control their own destiny because they are ever so susceptible to suggestion? To what degree are you willing to sacrifice an individuals rights over your fear that they are incapable of making decisions for themselves?

 

[hahabye]

At no point in the conversation did she say dying in 4.5 hours followed by a response of of "hope you will be able and have courage to do it". She never even said that... way to build yourself a strawman. And in theory even if she had said that, you still have to take the context of the entire conversation into account.

Lastly - the process of suicide is typically if not always very extensive. The steps that one typically goes through from the time they decide they want to commit suicide to getting to the point of carrying out the act is extremely extensive. In this instance it's someone who researched methods, decided on a method, learned about that method, purchased what they need for that method and are now in the process of potentially carrying out the act. It is so goddamn condescending to insinuate that someone doesn't have the autonomy/intelligence to make such a decision for themselves and the notion that they would come on a forum and be pressured to commit a suicidal act, when there is so much thought that goes into such a thing, is so offensive.
Should the internet be illegal, so that no one is coerced into negative thoughts by others? Should human beings not have the right to analyze information and control their own destiny because they are ever so susceptible to suggestion? To what degree are you willing to sacrifice an individuals rights over your fear that they are incapable of making decisions for themselves?

Sorry for the misunderstanding, the 4.5 hour thing was about myself

 

[suicidesheep31]

dying in 4.5 hours

he was talking about him.

I apologize for having bring this up so far. Sorry @MAA Ke pass
@littlelungs , your post is helpful.
She just seems to be young and ambivalent. It is not a criticisms. I am also ambivalent.
But yes, I don't know the context, so I should not go further in my interpretations.
I just hope she is at peace whatever the result is.
HUGS

 

[hahabye]

he was talking about him.

I apologize for having bring this up so far. Sorry @MAA Ke pass
@littlelungs , your post is helpful.
She just seems to be young and ambivalent. It is not a criticisms. I am also ambivalent.
But yes, I don't know the context, so I should not go further in my interpretations.
I just hope she is at peace whatever the result is.
HUGS

I was, thank you! (and not that it matters but I'm a woman )