Tonight *finally* I'm going to drink SN - dunno if it's going to work

[MountKecske]

I will have prepared 2 more glasses as back-up, of 20 grams, in case 25 grams was too much.

I already have a bag besides the bed in case of puking.

I'm living in rent, so I'm going to cover all over even the carpet.

I cannot even drink water anymore...

Dunno how my stomach and organs will react with SN.

I am calm, I need this, not just want this... But my organism is a concern / worry of mine...

12am - stopped drinking liquids as well. Will wait at least a couple of hours just in case I need to go to the bathroom first before drinking SN.

Oh, and hopefully it's still pure.

And that it's going to get absorbed ( even though, Friday I tested the absorbtion process by drinking some Jack Daniels and it got absorbed ).

I will be so devastated if it's not going to kill me and with a hole in my stomach and such.

I don't want to survive.

I will type here the moment I took SN.


Hugs,

I wish it didn't come to this, I wish you didn't feel like this the only way out. In the current circumstances I wish it will be peaceful for you, drifting to sleep peacefully. *hugs*

 

[hʚll]

I will. In 2 hours and 35 minutes ( it's 12:25pm ) , I'm starting to prepare the drinks...

I'm still concerned of SN just ruining my stomach, organs and still remain alive...

But what will be, will be.

Hugs,

it's normal to be worried about something going wrong. it seems to me that you have done everything right for the method to work. at this point maybe the best you can do is to believe in it... at least that's what i say to myself too. i really hope the best for you

 

[Freakazette]

it's normal to be worried about something going wrong. it seems to me that you have done everything right for the method to work. at this point maybe the best you can do is to believe in it... at least that's what i say to myself too. i really hope the best for you

Well, besides any aditional meds... I had exactly 2 capsules of anti-acid before I fell asleep, don't have anymore.

I will just take SN after fasting, some resting, and that's it.

Hugs,

 

[fly away]

I wish you peace @Freakazette

 

[Freakazette]

I found an open farmacy, and got some anti-acid, found Rennie as well.

Maybe this will ease my mind.

Now I'm thirsty, though, after walking one hour outside in the sun getting the anti-acid.

I have to drink something. But this means I have to wait again...

Does it matter if I will drink some Orange juice now? I will wait afterwards...

I've read in some threads, no caffeine but don't remember the restrictions... Anyway, I will still wait. And now I have anti-acid also...

Update:

Okay, so today I'm definetly taking the SN... But I'm drinking some Orange juice right now, maybe some water, and I will have to wait hours afterwards just in case...

I have all day long. ( it's almost 2pm )

Hugs,
.

 

[hʚll]

Does it matter if I will drink some Orange juice now? I will wait afterwards...

orange juice should be acidic...

Avoid acidic, carbonated, caffeinated, fatty drinks.

• If you really must have these, and really can't control it, drink 3h before SN intake (at most 2h). (from https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/fasting-sn.29987/ )

 

[logan]

No matter what you decide - I wish you that you make the right decision for you and find peace.

 

[Freakazette]

orange juice should be acidic...

Avoid acidic, carbonated, caffeinated, fatty drinks.

• If you really must have these, and really can't control it, drink 3h before SN intake (at most 2h). (from https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/fasting-sn.29987/ )

Thank youuu!

I will wait then at least 3 hours, 4 hours, to be on the safe side.

It's only 2pm, I have the day...

I will announce once I drink the SN.

I have anti-acids as well now, I feel more at ease.

Hugs,
.

 

[logan]

How long will you be alone until you are found? Do you inform anyone beforehand?

 

[Freakazette]

How long will you be alone until you are found? Do you inform anyone beforehand?

No. I will be alone for at least 24 hours. Just two friends know if I disappear for one entire day that after 24 hours they should get alarm. So, it's like today/night, tomorrow all day... I already gave them a sign today.

And I also took tomorrow ( Monday ) and Tuesday off work... In case I die or even not die.

So, today is the day, I am prepared. I just need the "guts" and then power.

I am more calm than ever, I believe.

Hugs,
.
Update: Hopefully my SN is still pure.

 

[logan]

No. I will be alone for at least 24 hours. Just two friends know if I disappear for one entire day that after 24 hours they should get alarm. So, it's like today/night, tomorrow all day... I already gave them a sign today.

And I also took tomorrow ( Monday ) and Tuesday off work... In case I die or even not die.

So, today is the day, I am prepared. I just need the "guts" and then power.

I am more calm than ever, I believe.

Hugs,
.
Update: Hopefully my SN is still pure.

And you are sure that your two friends could not still intervene?

 

[Freakazette]

And you are sure that your two friends could not still intervene?

Yes. Not after tomorrow has passed already. And today I'm drinking the SN...

The only thing that remains is for SN to kill me for sure...


Update:

Hopefully, it's still pure. I just opened it once. The data sheet said it's at least 99,999%.


Hugs,

 

[Freakazette]

UPDATE"

Now I can't wait to drink it...

It's like I want to be "sucked" out of oxygen and sleep forever.

Hugs,

 

[Freakazette]

Tick tock.

The clock is ticking.

 

[hʚll]

ss community to you

 

[Freakazette]

I think I would want to eat right about now, dunno... But it's pointless, even eating.

1 more hour and almost 15 minutes until taking the anti-acid.

I was reading about the fact that 2g of SN can seem like getting drunk... And I did a test with alcohol on Friday, drunk only like a small cup, and couldn't drink anymore, it would have made me more sick. Slept right away. Then what should I expect with SN, instant puking or not, beats me!

Hugs,

 

[hʚll]

i guess 25g should put you to sleep really soon, since you are already so tired from fasting etc
hugsss

 

[Freakazette]

I took already the anti-acid, even if it's an hour ahead.

Now I'm scared again. What the...


Hugs,

i guess 25g should put you to sleep really soon, since you are already so tired from fasting etc
hugsss

Strangely, I'm not sleepy anymore nor hungry anymore after taking the anti-acid.

But I do want SN to make me fall asleep... FOREVER.

I'm concerned now about the effects even more severe than getting drunk.

 

[hʚll]

i'm not sure what could help right now. do you have any benzos or something to calm you if you feel scared?
if i have internet when i ctb i would probably watch funny cat videos to trick my mind to think that it's all okay and to not worry too much

 

[Freakazette]

i'm not sure what could help right now. do you have any benzos or something to calm you if you feel scared?
if i have internet when i ctb i would probably watch funny cat videos to trick my mind to think that it's all okay and to not worry too much

Nothing actually relaxes me. Half an hour left. But let me see when I'm ready, though.

I'm expecting if it's like getting also drunk, to feel sick... And, when I do, I feel awful sick...

But the part of being deprived of oxygen maybe will help!


Hugs,

 

[LostSoul1609]

Just came here to wish you a good journey.
Remember that if you are having second thoughts you can always back out, you shouldn't go through if you don't feel ready.

 

[MountKecske]

Nothing actually relaxes me. Half an hour left. But let me see when I'm ready, though.

I'm expecting if it's like getting also drunk, to feel sick... And, when I do, I feel awful sick...

But the part of being deprived of oxygen maybe will help!


Hugs,

I'm sorry, I don't wanna piss you off. But to me today doesn't seem like the right day for you. And this is reminding me of how in my shitty country when someone goes at the top of a building people start screaming jump, jump. I mean I know that's not the intention of 87 people viewing the thread right now, but I feel like it's causing you distress and ctb might be seeming as an obligation to you right now. Please consider this.

 

[Freakazette]

I'm sorry, I don't wanna piss you off. But to me today doesn't seem like the right day for you. And this is reminding me of how in my shitty country when someone goes at the top of a building people start screaming jump, jump. I mean I know that's not the intention of 87 people viewing the thread right now, but I feel like it's causing you distress and ctb might be seeming as an obligation to you right now. Please consider this.

No one can pressure me. Today is the day. I got two days off work for this.

However, I don't know what hour yet.

Perhaps I'm thirsty, I already feel weak... I will just lay a little bit more in bed.


Hugs,



UPDATE:

I took another anti-acid ( doubled the dose ).

Waiting now 30-45 minutes and drinking the SN.

I'm scared it's not going to be AT ALL a peaceful death or painful and not even dying...

//////////////////

 

[All Things Must Pass]

It's antacid, not anti-acid.

 

[Freakazette]

What are u doing right now

Preparing mentally for whatever comes just to die...

It's antacid, not anti-acid.

Antiacid it's saying...

 

[dark_angel]

Are you going to post until you're unconscious ?

 

[Freakazette]

I don't know if I will can...

My stomach already is bugging me and I'm not feeling well.

I will have to prepare it soon... ( 2 back-ups of 20 g ). Taking the first of 25g.

What if it's not going to kill me and make me so sick?


Hugs,

I don't know if I will can...

My stomach already is bugging me and I'm not feeling well.

I will have to prepare it soon... ( 2 back-ups of 20 g ). Taking the first of 25g.

What if it's not going to kill me and make me so sick?


Hugs,

Doesn't actually matters if it's going to make me sick as long as it will kill me, though.

I'm preparing it...

It's now or never.

Really scared, though.

//
Still scared...

 

[dark_angel]

How much does the 25g look like

 

[Freakazette]

Hopefully it's still pure...

 

[diyCTB]

@Freakazette Why are you saying it's now or never? You won't be able to do it another time?