Discussion To note or not to note

[Done]

I'd like to hear other people's opinions and advice on my situation, since I can't ask anyone in my life this question for obvious reasons.

The thought of leaving a note never popped into my mind. I was going to go through with killing myself and be done with everything. Yet lately, now that I am close to receiving all of the meds for my method, the idea of a note and this tug of war between leaving one and not is really bothering me.

If I left a note, it wouldn't be a book about my life, it would be more like 3-4 sentences max explaining, "I'm sorry, there is nothing you could have done, a lot of physical and psychological pain, I love you, etc.."

If I don't leave a note, will my family blame themselves forever? Does a note make a difference, even a simple, short one as I described? Has anyone dealt with a family member/close friend's suicide and if so, did a note or lack of a note make a difference to you? I know they will suffer regardless, but what can be done to alleviate some of their suffering?

 

[tammyot]

I have been contemplating this too. I will write a note though because i believe it's the right thing to do. Haven't seen some family members for quite some time now and it's look like my issues with them will never be resolved. I don't want them to feel guilt over my decision and try as much as I can to alleviate them all of pain. Though they will be in pain regardless. Was trying to see if not make it look like a suicide but, then I can't write a note.

I feel so misunderstood by my family and all they want is me on medication or in a mental health hospital if they knew I was feeling suicidal again.

 

[Done]

I have been contemplating this too. I will write a note though because i believe it's the right thing to do. Haven't seen some family members for quite some time now and it's look like my issues with them will never be resolved. I don't want them to feel guilt over my decision and try as much as I can to alleviate them all of pain. Though they will be in pain regardless. Was trying to see if not make it look like a suicide but, then I can't write a note.

I feel so misunderstood by my family and all they want is me on medication or in a mental health hospital if they knew I was feeling suicidal again.

I totally understand when you say they will just want you on medication or in a hospital if they knew you were suicidal.

I'm sorry you have issues with some family members. Will your note be a general note to everyone, or will you address certain people throughout the note because of this?

 

[tammyot]

Thanks, life can suck at times. I just snapped at my sister, the one I'm closest too on the phone. It's hard having to bottle all this up but what else can you do? If you are honest then it doesn't help either. I feel so trapped and there really is no one you can talk to because the solution always is medication / mental health hospital. I will address certain people throughout the note.
I wish they could offer places for people to go without being drugged up!

 

[6477244ts5]

I've written countless ones over the years...some angry and rightfully blaming...some soothing and lying to ease suffering...some emotionless and laying out the facts. It's pretty clear mood changes what I think is right so I've sort of arrived at not bothering. In the end it doesn't matter. I'm not going to come back alive in a great situation because I may have explained. The single digit number of people who will even care will feel bad regardless and know who I am and need no explanation....and the shit ones and ones who caused this won't care. So I'm saving the ink.

 

[Done]

I've written countless ones over the years...some angry and rightfully blaming...some soothing and lying to ease suffering...some emotionless and laying out the facts. It's pretty clear mood changes what I think is right so I've sort of arrived at not bothering. In the end it doesn't matter. I'm not going to come back alive in a great situation because I may have explained. The single digit number of people who will even care will feel bad regardless and know who I am and need no explanation....and the shit ones and ones who caused this won't care. So I'm saving the ink.

I can understand that. I guess personally I'm just unsure because I've thought the people closest to me knew me, but lately I've been seeing that they don't, at all. You're lucky that those close to you do.

 

[GoneSeptember2018]

Bump

 

[Paulsmith]

I'm not not noting to anyone..... was going to myself but not now